i have 3 children my husband has raised them for 4 years. Their real father isnt around and when he wants to see the kids he thinks that him and I should have something like example (ill come see my kids if you have sex with me) my husband wants to adopt them. Their real father is always in jail right now hes in prison. The kids dont really know him they all think that my husband now is their dad and Im worried on how some day down the road we tell them diffrent how it will be for them. I think it will be hard for them since their real dad hasnt been in thier lives that when he does come around in and out that it will be worse for them how can I get my husband to adopt if their real dad wont sign papers.. I know if a mother or father goes so long without seeing them its considered abandoment?
2006-10-04 13:19:40 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need help from the courts, exactly what you said here tell it to a judge, everything you said made sense to me. The judge could find him an unfit parent and take all his rights from him, especially now that he is in prison, and from what you say here, he probably has never paid child support. Get to a family court as soon as you can, before he comes out of prison. Also tell the judge that you want your children to grow up with good moral standings, that usually makes a judge think. Good luck, and appreciate the man you have now. There are not many like him.
2006-10-04 13:29:12 · answer #1 · answered by Boricua Born 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do this through the court. You may be able to have the court take his parental rights and let your husband adopt the children if you can prove that he is unhealthy for the children or has no relationship.
But, I think it is a mistake letting your kids think that your current husband is their real dad. That must and will come out someday and if you let them believe something that is untrue, they will be so upset, hurt, confused, and feel betrayed later. Level with them now, no matter what you decide to do concerning the court and legal adoption.
2006-10-04 13:25:20 · answer #2 · answered by Peachy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Stingray on this one......however put the shoe on the other foot. My ex would have loved to have proven me unfit, take a drug test....name it. I know that mine is NOT the answer that you are looking for, however i must illustrate to you that the more you show the children at an early age, the 'shock' you speak of will not be so severe. You CANNOT protect them from life while trying to make it better. In my case, I went silent. I knew he would give in. I gave him, silently, two months tops. I was a great parent and he had the financial backing, a trust fund to my Corporate position. Enter Mother-in-law...... no, on second thought let's not go there. The cliff notes on this were that he tired of it, I got a phone call not a week and a half later saying, not asking mind you, that they had their tickets and were to be flying across the country to see me. I let them see the truth....without damning anything or anyone. I showed them MY version of life....to no one's dismay...we laughed, I showed them the Statue of Liberty, museums, sidewalk vendors, eating at such a fine place that we had the world in our hands.....golden memories. I had to make a terribly difficult decision and was shunned by many.
The fact that your children's biological father is in Prison, and I do not know thier ages, is a tough one.....yes, allow the court to intervene. The sooner the better.
I didnt mean to wax here....my situation was difficult enough. You will be in my thoughts...all of you. Thank you.
2006-10-04 14:31:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The step father won't be able to adopt without the permission of the natural father unless you can prove to a court that the birth father is an unfit parent.
I only see my son twice a year (living 1000 miles away from me), does that mean I could be considered to be a parent guilty of abandonment?
2006-10-04 13:23:22 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, i am in a similar situation as you, and im glad you have asked that question, i dont really want to go into my details, but i wish you all the best, the future is going to be hard, when they start to ask questions etc and as the person said the truth will come out one day, if youre like me, im not thinkng about that and will cross that bridge when we get there, as long as the dad is being the best he can be and loves them with all his heart (as with my situation) then the kids will know in their hearts who there dad is. A father is not nessassarily dna, it is the man who opens his heart to the children and loves, cares , feeds, clothes and has fun with them, he tucks them in at night, hugs them and picks them up when they fall. All the best to and your family :0)
2006-10-04 13:58:04 · answer #5 · answered by shaznz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what I underatand, the two mothers and dads would desire to consent to adoption and the only exception could be if the daddy isn't listed on the beginning certificates. in spite of the shown fact that, if he's nearly as controlling as you say, he would contest and desire a paternity try if in certainty he's not on the beginning certificates. a good concern in yor desire could be if it truly is shown that the beginning father is undeserving (alcohol, drug abuse, can no longer carry down a job, would not pay help, and so on.). Having the beginning mom in touch is definitely a good concern. DO get a lawyer, ASAP. i'm sorry i can't be of extra help, yet maximum suitable of success on your daughter and your loved ones.
2016-10-01 22:53:17 · answer #6 · answered by regula 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out the laws in your state first. If the dad is incarcerated it wouldn't be abandonment. Go to your local DH HR (Dept of Health and Human Resource) and they should be able to help you in the procedure of getting the father to relinquish his parental rights that way the kids can legally be adopted.GOOD LUCK.
2006-10-04 14:24:07 · answer #7 · answered by SANCY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being a child when i was adopted my adopted father had to get permission from the other man as i call him i hope you the best and your family maybe you can prove him unfit for being in prison and or jail
2006-10-04 13:50:08 · answer #8 · answered by jo mason 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can do about it. When they become at they can do there self if they want to. If they are girls they will sooner or later change there names anway. So you will have to deal with it.
2006-10-04 14:12:16 · answer #9 · answered by fonda b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer and prove him unfit.
2006-10-04 13:27:42 · answer #10 · answered by jujub 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋