My 1 year old son...?

Question

My son never crys for anyone else, but when I am with him he crys for me and wont listen. Everyone else who watchs him doesnt get treated that way. Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do? And also he perfers others over me and I dont get this, I show nothing but love and affection I just dont get it. Someone please help me. Thank you.

No I am not a stay home mom, Hes at day care all day from 8AM till 6 PM and im with him after 6 and all day weekends.

Answer 1

There could be a couple of reasons for his behavior.

He goes to daycare and only has you in the evenings, therefore, he is testing his bounderies with you. He will cry in order to get his way. Whereas, he knows he can not get away with this at daycare. There are other children there and this behavior will either be ignored or dealt with. When he is with you, he is the only one and he knows it can not be ignored (it can, but it is difficult).

Here is what I did:

My daughter used to throw fits and clear out the hall closet. When she was finished, she would do the same in the kitchen. I locked myself in my bedroom and ignored it. When she was finished, I would go out and tell her to clean it up. She put two and two together and quit doing this. So then she resorted to throwing screaming fits right in front of me. She usually did this when I was trying to study. At first, I would give in to her because I wanted some quiet time, but then I started to ignore her. I would just sit there and pretend to read while she was throwing her fit. It took an hour sometimes, but it soon stopped.

I wish you the best. It will not get easier, but you do learn how to handle it better.

You need to set boundaries and stick to them. It is very difficult to listen to your little boy cry (it is very hard for me), but you can do it!

Answer 2

Well first of all, are you a stay at home mom? If you are then the reason he probably wants to be with other people other than with you is because he is with you all day and is probably bored. I say this because I'm a SAHM to an 18 month old little girl and sometimes she just gets tired of seeing me all day and wants to just be with her dad when he comes home. She's still a momma's girl and always prefers me over her dad or anyone, but the truth is thatkids sometimes get bored of seeing the same people all the time. Don't worry he's probably just going through a phase~

Answer 3

Being a working mom is tough- I know! Unfortunately, the daycare provider tends to get to have the child during the best parts of the child's day. The most social parts of a child's day tend to be after they are well-rested and fed. Your son is probably most content at daycare because they have him at these times. Most children when they get home are hungry and tired, plus demand more attention from the parents because they have not seen them all day. Your son is at an age when he can't vocalize what he wants/needs, and may not even know half the time. I am having this problem with my 16-month and 3-year old girls. The 16-month old is finally adjusting to being with a sitter (I stayed home for the last year and a half), but is stuck to me like glue when we get home. My 3-year old started pre-K and is no longer napping, so by 5 o'clock she is often crying and doesn't know why. Try to develop a consistent routine for you and your son for your evenings. If he hasn't eaten yet, start with that. Then try a bath- this can be soothing as well as a fun mommy-baby playtime. This can lead into the bed-time routine if it is getting close. If you still have time, try some play-time on the floor with him- blocks, Little People, toy animals, and musical instruments are great for development at this age. Try reading or finger plays/songs to settle him down for bed. (Depending on your child's personality, you may want to end with the bath- I do the bath first with my girls as it is more playtime to them than a precurser to sleep. They then have a snack, brush their teeth, and have story time before bed.) Also, take advantage of the extra time on the weekends when your son is more likely to be more receptive. One suggestion is to try some messy play. My daughter fell in love with our sand and water table around the age of 1. I substituted dry rice for the sand (easier to clean up, the floor and the child, and won't hurt if a little goes in the mouth). I also started painting with her- would put her in her highchair, pour a little water on her tray, add a drop of finger paint for color, and let her go. She loved it! If your son doesn't take to messy play, try some other activities with him when he is well-rested and fed. Just try to focus on the bonding times. Good luck!

Answer 4

he is one so if he is crying for a good reason respond but if it just whining then ignore or distract. IT IS ALSO THE AGE THEY CAN BE PRETTY WHINY. the PROBLEM IS YOU ARE SEEING HIM AT THE WORST TIME OF THE DAY FOR KIDS. night TIME.(sorry bumped caps lock). Sadly if he is in care 8am -6pm his primary carer is not you. they spend more time with him than you. Are you able to pick him up earlier such as 4-4.30 so you get some "happy" time with him. I understand you have to work but maybe you need to find a way to spend a bit more time with him. In your job can you do some work from home at night that would allow you to pick him up early?

Answer 5

It sounds as if you were describing my son at 1. I WAS a stay at home mom - so I spent 24/7 with him, so when he'd prefer someone else, it would truly hurt my feelings something awful. But it's normal. He doesn't "prefer" someone else, it's just that anyone who isn't you - is different! My son cried a lot at that age, but not for anyone else - and I do understand your frustration. Your doing ok - it's hard, and it will make you question yourself and your parenting skills. But I promise - your doing great!

Answer 6

My 2 year old crys at me all day long.... always has. Shes home with me, she does not go to daycare.She does not cry at others when they care for her. If she sees me while with others she wants me. She has a physical attachment to my hair. I wish she would be more independent.... She will get there some day ( I HOPE). I still can't figure out how to make her stop. Her daddy calls it (mother syndrome)... LOL

Answer 7

He doesn't necessarily prefer others over you... it might be because he is most comfortable with you that he thinks whining and crying is ok.... because he is very sure that you love him no matter what.
My sister used to be a full time student when her son was born... she was away from him most of the time- he wasn't very affectionate... if this is also your situation, then you need to bond with your son now... it's not too late.

Answer 8

your son is seeking attention from you. since he's in daycare all day, he's not getting it and knows that the best way to get your attention is to cry...believe it or not kids are born manipulators, i have two of my own.

here's what to do: when he's being good and playing on his own and not crying praise him...make a super big deal out of it. when he's crying tell him that it hurts your ears and that if he wants to cry he can do it in his own room out of ear shot. it works on my kids everythime. They cry for a bit, then usually come out with a totally changed disposition. Be firm, no hitting or time outs for crying, just letting him know it's ok to cry but do it in another room.

good luck

Answer 9

Your son has figured out how to manipulate you. He seems young for this, but it's probably true. You need to be firm and consistent with him. Always use the same punishments and don't let him get away with things once in awhile, it just confuses him. If you are firm with him, he'll figure out you're in charge, not the other way around.

Answer 10

Every kid knows how to "work" different people. If this is getting him what he wants, he'll keep doing it. I doubt that the day care gives him what he wants when he screams and cries. You do, so he does it to get what he wants. Don't give in when he cries, make him ask for it and stand strong. You are the boss, not him!!!