How do you gain self-confidence and/or self-esteem?

Question

I hear that I'm pretty and beautiful a lot, but I have a hard time believing anyone that says that to me. I know I'm not ugly, but every time I look in a mirror, I can only see my flaws. I'm tired of being so hard on myself, but I don't know how to change it... Any suggestions to boost my self-esteem??

Answer 1

I know exactly how that is. My friends tell me that I'm pretty, but I just don't see it. I'll look in the mirror and I just see fat, ugly, things that I have been told before by people that tried to make me feel awful. I guess all that we can do is listen to our true friends, listen to what they say and try to understand, and find it. They say you're beautiful... the next time you look in the mirror, try to find the beauty that everyone says is there, instead of just seeing what's right in front of you. If this doesn't help, I'm sorry. I'm still going through it myself, if I ever totally figure things out I'll let ya know:)

Answer 2

Stop looking in the mirror for starters. You need something real to feel proud of, and looks are not it. Get out of the house and do some good things for other people. This can be something organized, like volunteering at a soup kitchen, or something informal that you can do right now, like helping someone whose grocery bag broke in the parking lot of the supermarket. Go to your local park and pick up all the trash you can find. It's easy to find things to do to help others.

Feeling good comes from doing good, not necessarily from looking good. It's nice to look pretty too, but if you are a good person underneath, you won't feel so bad on days when you look less than your best. You will gain perspective that will let you see how unimportant looks are anyway.

Answer 3

that is a very good question,Im looking for answers,i dont exactly know why a person would say your beautiful and pretty,but atleast you know it was a good compliment right?dont take it personally,even if its a good compliment you have to be satisfied about it.OR would you rather someone telling you how *unpretty* you look?common sense really,you need friends,you need to think a little more on the positive side,you need incouragement from supportive people,family/friends/anyone willing to share and help,theres so much people lacking communication and support for people who have low self-esteem,you need a psychiatrist or doctor,someone you can trust and talk to concerning your problem.

I have to agree with shatzy....
There other other meanings to why a person says your beautiful
It mighten be your reflection in the mirror,but something they see in you.Like your personality,charateristics etc.

Answer 4

Self esteem is generally improved by accomplishment. Do something you like! Do it again until you're good at it. Then you won't worry about a lying mirror.

Answer 5

To help raise your self-esteem, try finding and spending time with other people who share your interests (e.g. by joining clubs or societies); and try to avoid mixing with negative-thinking people. When friendly people point out your good looks or other positive traits, be happy that they feel this way and take their word for it.
If someone makes negative remarks about you, think to yourself, "So you think you're perfect, eh?" or "Look who's talking!"

Answer 6

Hi

Self-confidence may seem like a far-off and unreachable goal, but it can actually be achievable with several small steps.

1. Work on your conversational skills

Improving your conversational skills can help you feel more comfortable and confident in any social situation which will lead to larger confidence overall. If you practice maintaining eye contact and being a good listener, you will also give off a more confident aura and you can enjoy the benefits of being treated as a confident person.

2. Set goals

As with anything you want to achieve, building confidence will be easier if you set specific goals. Whether you want to be confident enough to be president of an organization or simply give a presentation at the next department meeting, you can then create an action plan for achieving this goal.

3. Get involved

When you become involved in an organization, project or committee, the new experiences, improved skills and chances for leadership and personal development can help improve confidence. Think about joining a professional organization, signing up for a committee at work or volunteering your time at a worthwhile organization.

4. Use positive imagery and self-talk

The road to self-confidence is primarily a mental exercise. Visualizing yourself as a confident person is one way to create a confident mentality. Positive affirmations are another way of building confidence. Tell yourself that you are a confident person and don't give negative thoughts room to grow.

5. Seek professional help

Motivational speakers make their living from helping people make the most of their lives, which often involves helping their listeners build confidence. If you can't attend a seminar in person, many speakers also offer DVDs and CDs of their motivational performances. Numerous self-help books are also available that can lead you to helpful strategies for building confidence. Life coaches provide one-on-one help to assist customers in reaching their potential. If there are more deep-seated issues getting in the way of feeling confident, you may wish to look into counseling or psychiatric help. Depression and other illnesses can decimate your self-confidence, and simply thinking positive thoughts or attending a motivational talk aren't enough to feel better.

6. Take small steps

Going along with the idea of setting goals, if you're not feeling confident, you will be much more likely to achieve your desired level of confidence by taking small steps. Tell yourself that you will smile and shake hands with everyone you meet today or promise that you will offer your opinion on an issue at the next board meeting. This is much more likely to lead to success and start you on the path to confidence than jumping straight to a more daunting task like giving the keynote speech at a national conference.

7. Practice a confident attitude

You may have heard this sentiment expressed as, "fake it 'til you make it." The truth is that you can gain confidence by acting like a confident person. Nobody needs to know that you're cringing underneath your confident façade. Eventually you'll no longer need to pretend. The success you experience from acting confident and the confident habits you've developed will lead to true confidence.

8. Look for confident role models

Whether you turn to co-workers, friends, family members or celebrities for inspiration, finding confident role models can help you become more confident yourself. It's best if the person if you have real-life contact with the person you're looking to emulate, but you can still get an idea of a celebrity's personality and confidence-building strategies through interviews and books.

9. Try new things

New experiences can give you confidence by helping you grow as a person. You don't have to take up skydiving or anything drastic like that. Starting a new hobby or taking a class is more likely to help you develop lasting skills anyway.

10. Be happy with yourself

Having an essentially positive attitude toward yourself is key to gaining confidence. You must be happy with the person you are, from your personality to your appearance, before you can truly be confident.

Gaining confidence requires hard work and dedication but it doesn't have to be impossible if you take it one step at a time.

Hope that helps?

Take care

Paul

Answer 7

i do no longer be certain my own self-worth thinking the shown fact that i do no longer pay concentration to my own op pinion approximately myself while i'm nonetheless uncertain appropriate to the op pinion of those around me. i'm relaxed approximately myself when I seem back on my existence and say that I certainly have chanced on appropriate to the main effective concerns of existence, and that i hearken to no one that has now no longer reached that understanding. My arrogance is a judgment of myself, yet how ought to I do one in each of these concern while i'm in no area to evaluate each physique else.

Answer 8

start reading some nietzsche... it will help.

but seriously, if people only see your flaws (as you do too), whats wrong with seeing their flaws (in character)??

people like you...... for better reasons than something in a mirror.

you know this to be true.

Answer 9

try listing 10 things you love about you. yes try treating yourself nice. get a manicure or something. accept your flaws and you will love you.