I’m 24 and have just started my career. I've been dating a girl for four months now. She’s my first “official” girlfriend. She is the only girl that I’ve ever kissed. She is also the only girl that I’ve ever had sex with. My only other ‘sexual experiences’ are lap dances at strip clubs.
I really believe that this girl can be ‘the one’.
She’s been with two other guys before me and it really, really bothers me for some reason. She was in a five-year, on-and-off, relationship with the first guy. She described her sexual encounter with the second guy as a “one night stand”. She is apologetic for her sexual past, but that’s only mildly comforting.
Is it normal to be this bothered by her sexual past? Yes, I do realize that it could be a lot worse than it is. And yes, I am also a pretty jealous guy.
What do I need to do or think in order to get over her sexual past? Any input would be most appreciated.
2006-10-04 12:25:06 · 23 answers · asked by Bob_123 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey the key word "past"....You cannot move forward with this women that you think may be the one if you try and remember the past or bring the past up... Everyone has issues with the past.. But the most wonderful thing is that it is all in the past. She is with you now and it sounds like you to are into each other.. don't let the past ruin your future....good luck
2006-10-04 12:28:44 · answer #1 · answered by littlevae73 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My old partner was the same. i was his first for everything.
It was cute but difficult. Hed always ask questions about where i done it etc. personally, you would be making the poor girl so uncomfortable. 2 people aint a huge deal. I mean does she every turn to you and call/ think that your a loser cos you never done it? every persons history and experiences differ.
If she can respect you for the choices that you have made, then please respect her. You might be thinking about her past, but perhaps shes thinking of wishing you had some 'past', cos i remember what it was like with a virgin. Not to put you out or anything, over time it gets great. just think about it that you may not be the only one thinking this through.
2006-10-04 19:33:35 · answer #2 · answered by Ange 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop thinking about her past sexual partners and start thinking about how wonderful the love making will be between the two of you in the future. The past is the past my man you have gotta live in the here and now other wise you might just lose what you have because of jealousy issues
2006-10-04 19:29:35 · answer #3 · answered by wildone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who are you trying to date Mother Theresa. Cmon get real. The only encounter that I would concern myself with is the one night stand because of the disease factor. I think that you should be okay with the fact that she did not sleep around and was in a committed relationship for so long. This means that she is loyal and a one man at a time gal.
2006-10-04 19:30:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First congrats with your first "official g/f", second I do not think that there is a specific way to get over her sexual past. Just know that she is with you now, and that you should have nothing to worry about because she is the one that is in love with you. You can not change the past, but you can look towards the future with you by her side and enjoying your relationship with her.
2006-10-04 19:29:03 · answer #5 · answered by ridingis4life 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all- you cannot judge her fro wath she did or went throughi nt he past- jduge her for what she's going through and doing now!!! You have no business asking or watning to knwo what her sexual life was like. It seems to me like you been living udner a rock. You need to meet more people buddy. You only think she's the one because she's the only woman you've been close to besides your mom. IF you realy care about her- don't worry about her past. She's obviously more experienced sexually and emotionally with relationships than you are. IF you stick around a little more- she might even be able to teach you a thing or two. By BF of 4 years did the same with me. He asked me every little thing about my past and now regrets knowing certain things that i said to him. Don't worry about her past. Live the present and you'll be fine!!!
2006-10-04 19:33:01 · answer #6 · answered by mari 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her past is not something she should be required to apologize to you or anyone else for. So she had sex before you...so what ---it has nothing to do with you or the relationship the two of you share. Her experiences are what have formed her into the person you claim could be "the one"...Get over yourself and stop acting and treating her like she has done something wrong. SHE HAS DONE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. IF ANYTHING, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED FOR TRYING TO MAKE HER FEEL LIKE SHE DID SOMETHING WRONG! Grow up! If her past is an issue for you, you will never be mature enough to love her or anyone else.
2006-10-04 19:39:28 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy gets with a girl, hoping to be her first.
A girl gets with a guy, hoping to be his last.
She didn't have to tell you about her past, and you needn't have had to asked her. But now that you know, just realize that it is her past. Focus on what the two of you have, not what she had with the other two men. Remember that it doesn't change who she is, the girl you had grown to fall in love with.
The only thing you should be worried about is the here and now, and how she is or how she makes you feel when she is with you.
2006-10-04 19:31:39 · answer #8 · answered by denh 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Bro, she only have two sexual past, that is no big deal. My gf have 7 sexual past and one or more ONS. What do you think? Should I bother over it? Look in the present and future.
Cheers!
2006-10-05 01:13:36 · answer #9 · answered by guyguy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, her past is her past. Not yours and it's just a hang up. Besides, (barring any religious influence), you shouldn't think too much of your FIRST g/f as The One. But hey, to each his own.
Remember, she is who she is because of her experiences and if you fell in love with her now, it is because of who she is as a whole.
Her past should not affect you. She is with you now, that is what counts. Don't make me type out the whole Chasing Amy story. rent it, watch it and take from it that much. If she is that meaningful to you, then her past doesn't matter. What does is that she is in love with you, too and you should be looking forward, not back.
Good luck.
The Dude believes everyone should be happy together.
2006-10-04 19:30:12 · answer #10 · answered by The Dude... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋