Okay, Saturday night a bunch of us went to a strip club because one of our friends was in town visiting. Like I said a bunch of people went including me and my bf. The thing is it was my idea, but I made my bf promise no lapdances, especially while I was there. So we get there and about 30 min after being there this little skank gets on stage and she kisses my bf and he doesn't stop her! They aren't allowed to do that anyways. Anyways after that my bf asks her for a lapdance and I got totally upset I even started crying. Then he come back and tries talking to me and I told him right now would not be a good time to ttry to talk to me. So we hang out there a little while longer and then he ask the same stripper for ANOTHER lap dance! Now tell me, do I have a right to be pissed off? He says that I'm just acting childish and stupid, am I?
2006-10-04 11:59:43 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We've been dating for almost 3 yrs
2006-10-04 12:00:02 · update #1
We live together too
2006-10-04 12:00:22 · update #2
He then says that she was very attractive, and I asked if she was more attractive then me and he couldn't answer... later he said she was attractive but I was just as attractive, is he lying?
2006-10-04 12:01:58 · update #3
we are both under 21 and it was my first time going to one. yes we were drinking, but it was still no excuse. I can't get over it. I keep thinking that he is thinking about her all of the time. How do I know that he doesn't have dreams about her now? I know I don't look anything close to her but I know I'm not ugly, I could just stand to lose a couple pounds. But yes she was pretty and that is what gets to me too. He knows that I'm still upset but he just keeps telling me it was my idea and not his problem...
2006-10-04 12:19:21 · update #4
You have every reason to be pissed off... you specifically asked him not to get a lapdance, and he did that not once, but twice, not to mention kissing one of the strippers, even though he knew how much it upset you. To me it seems like he doesn't respect you... I mean if he was going to be getting lapdances at all, he should do it when he's out with his buddies or by himself, not his girlfriend. The only lapdances that are acceptable should be coming from you.
How would he feel if you were at a male strip club and getting lap dances from another guy? I highly doubt he'd be ok with it.
2006-10-04 12:03:02 · answer #1 · answered by Green-eyed Nikki 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Ok, first off you sort of brought it on yourself by taking him and your friends to a strip club. What the hell were you thinking? What sort of relationship do you have with your boyfriend and your friends? Anyways, he should have controlled himself better but he didn't. So he screwed up too. (Of course that wouldn't have happened if you had decided to have everybody go anywhere else but a strip club..)
Your boyfriend sounds like a really honest guy, and I'm not being sarcastic here. He obviously was attracted to the girl in question, and when you asked him if she was pretty he told you the truth. When you asked if she was prettier than you, he didn't answer right away..but that isn't important.
There are always going to be women prettier than you. He's always going to be attracted to other girls even if he's married to you. Wonder why? Because he's not a homosexual!@! Guys are like that! Same thing with women, regardless of what they say. They can tell when a man is attractive or not even if they are not in a relationship with the person. All that matters is that your boyfriend loves you and in spite of that other girls appearance and the things she did to him, he is still wanting to be with you. You're the one he comes home to, you're the one that he is proud to have around his parents.
You're not acting childish. You're just a little insecure. Stop going to stripclubs. There are better things you can do as a couple than that. By taking him to those places you are putting him in situations where chemical processes in the brain, combined with alcohol, all work to lower his inhibitions and could put him in a situation where he doesn't control himself as he should. In other words, stop trying to find a reason to end your relationship with him. Either stay with him, or break up. Be as honest with him as he is with you.
Good luck to you kiddo.
2006-10-04 12:13:22 · answer #2 · answered by La Voce 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should know that no matter what no stripper would ever really touch a guy who gets lap dances - unless it was me, in that case they seem to always find me extra sexy. Or maybe it's just that I am a strippers boyfriend =) So I know these things.
If you two live together, 3 years, maybe you should just look at it for what it is! It's like going to a water park and staying off the slides!
Believe me, there is nothing wrong with what he did - and those girls have a way of dragging you into the room!
I bet you never thought of it this way, but maybe he just sees the two of you as way more serious then you thought! Maybe he thought that you knew that he loves you so much that something silly like a dancing girl wouldn't bother you.
No big deal, believe me - you're not childish, it's just not some girl naked all on him, he paid her!
Good Luck and trust me, don't worry - it's nothing.
2006-10-04 12:04:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think if ur gonna invite ur guy out to a strip club then he should be allowed to have a little fun. I find nothing wrong w/ him getting lap dances, however, I do draw the line at kissing. U need to know the kind of guy ur dating before u do something like go to strip clubs together. If he is the type to lose respect for u just because there is another attractive woman around, then he isn't the type u wanna take to a strip club, or even be with at all. And if ur the jealous type, going to a strip club w/ ur guy is just asking for trouble. I don't think ur acting childish or stupid, I just think u took the wrong guy w/ u.
2006-10-04 12:17:18 · answer #4 · answered by Timber 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes you have the right to be mad, But more than that can happen in a place like trust me I know, But maybe that was not the right choice to go anyway take your hasband, Because it's like you are saying he can do that, No that's when they start
messing around on you. Then you have opened a can of problem's, Really I know that hurt, so just be carefull that the choices you make on where you go together, well good luck I hope that things start to look up for you.
2006-10-04 12:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by MISSIE 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be pissed off, BUT it was YOUR idea to go to the strip club, what did you think was going to happen? These girls are there to make $$, they'll do anything for a buck.
You know whats going to happen? Now you'll use this situation every time you guys argue, because you lost some trust in him. You have to accept what happened and move on. If you love him and yourself you will have to move on, let it go and keep the love you have for him move you relationship to another level. Don't let this ruin a good relationship.
2006-10-04 12:08:12 · answer #6 · answered by rexy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That can't be the whole story. You're holding out, nothing is that clear-cut and simple... twice even. Drop in some more background and details about how it all happened. You were there, you know there's more to the story than I said no lap dances and then he asks for a lapdance, I start crying and then he asks for another. Of course that is wrong, but what else happened?
2006-10-04 12:04:46 · answer #7 · answered by David M 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Yes you are. Not because he said but because you cried and he got another lap dance and he knew it hurt you. Be pissed girl. Raise hell. Maybe he was there before and she knew him so that's why she kissed him. He might be cheating on you and don't even care about your feelings if he got a lap dance twice in front of you.
2006-10-04 12:06:04 · answer #8 · answered by lolly679 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes you do have the right to be pissed, he did not respect your request. he could have stopped it from the start.... but he chose not to and he let it continue even though you were there and you asked him not to in the beginning. even though it was your idea to go, it was on him for acting like and idiot. what would he do if the shoe was on the other foot.....he would flip out. the only thing left to ask is, will you stay and leave no consequences for his actions but to just letting him know that you are mad....or will you leave, letting him know that he messed up....big time.
2006-10-04 12:06:16 · answer #9 · answered by goldie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You kind of put yourself in the position to get hurt. Now you're letting him know that it's okay for a lap dance as long as you're not around. If you two got married and he doesn't come home one night, you'll know where he is. You took him to the place and that's like giving him permission to go when you're not with him. Why take him to the place and expect him not to take advantage of what's in front of him?
2006-10-04 12:06:09 · answer #10 · answered by Ladybug 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋