why does she lie about it?

Question

my mom and my biological dad divorced when I was 2 yrs. old then she began dating my stepdad and they married when I was 5 yrs. old.
Which was when I was in 1980 and they have been married for 26 yrs.,but my mom tells all her friends that they have been married for 33 yrs.
When I do mention stuff about my Aunt's and Grandma from my real dad's side to my mom's friends, my mom says "Oh they are just friends" and that is a lie.
can anyone explain to me why she does this?
Serious answers only please.

If she is embarrassed about it,then doesn't that also mean she is embarrassed about having me from that past relationship?

Answer 1

Dear I am very sorry that your mom puts you in a spot like this. I do hope that you have a relationship that is strong enough for you to go to her and ask, "Mom. What's up. Why do you say...?" Either way this is exactly what you need to do!
Try to avoid using the word "lie" at first because this will immediately draw up her walls and she will not be as easy to communicate with. If she tells you she is just ashamed (which is likely) you should try to be sympathetic and honest at the same time. Remind her that people are no longer judgmental about failed relationships. Explain to her that you are connected to these people that she calls your "friends". Point out that they are actually your relatives. Tell her it makes you look like a liar when she corrects you.
If however she refuses to work with you to improve this situation, then use the word "lie". Bluntly tell her that you will not be silent about her lies anymore. Tell her you will not argue with her or call her a liar in front of people, but that you will certainly correct any lies made in your presence from then on.
You have a RIGHT and a DUTY to uphold TRUTH.

Answer 2

My mom lied a lot about little sh*t like that when I was growing up. I never understood why until I got older. My mom used to tell everyone that I was a year younger then what I was. She was ashamed of her past and instead of just shrugging it off and not caring what anyone thought she lied to cover up her mistakes. I was born outta wed lock and so that her uppity friend wouldn't know she lied about my age. not sure why she didn't lie about her anniversary which would have been less confusing .. Pointing this out to your mother will cause trouble. Just let it go .. You know the truth and that is what matter. you can't change your mom. If someone ask you then be honest with them but don't throw it in her face when she is in front of her friends, it will just cause trouble
Good Luck and Be Strong you will get thur this and maybe someday she will understand what conflict she has caused by doing this too you

Answer 3

Parents lie because they loved their children. They want to move on and forget the bitter memories that even their siblings will be hurt especially during the tender years. You're grown up already and I think ready to know the truth and understands it. Its not the reason, but the intention matters. You'll be parent one day and that time you will fully understand it.
If you pursue in knowing the truth, be prepared and suspend your judgement. Remember the truth will hurt both of you.

Answer 4

Does she talk to your biological Dad at all? Do they remain friends? If not, it sounds like she has "erased" him from her memory because she is happy with your step dad. Since she doesn't really associate with them, she probably really doesn't consider the rest of the family "family", only just friends.

Have you asked her about it? Tell her how you feel about it? It probably just is just a bother for her to go into details about her failed marriage. If others want to know, you can tell them. Best wishes to you.

Answer 5

She wants to forget about those bad old days... & not be reminded of them... & that's what happens to her when you bring up the subject that way.
She's in denial... it's not really helping her... she needs to face the truth, confront her past, deal with it so she can talk or hear about it without getting so upset/afraid, then go on with a beter life from there.
The truth can set her free... free from all those ghosts from the past.

Answer 6

It sounds like she is trying to put ‘the past’ (including your biological dad) behind her, and she expects you to do the same !

Tell her that as far as you are concerned, your step-dad is your step-dad, and your biological father will always be your biological father, no matter what she wants to believe.
Tell her straight out that you are tired of her lies about who your relatives are.

Feel free to contact the relatives on your biological father’s side whenever you want to… You have every right to do so !!!
Bear in mind however, that if they haven’t made any attempt to contact you, it may be that they don’t want to.
If you know how to contact your biological father, and you want to do so, then by all means do it !!!

Answer 7

Maybe she wants tof roget everything about your real father. And doesn't want you to get into, maybe your father might have hurt her, but that doesn't mean your mother should keep you away from knowing mroe about your family.

Answer 8

well tell her to tell the truth maybe she dont want no one to think ill of her but still who cares in this day n time..tell her how r u suppose to follow her example when she lies bout this ..tell her it means alot to u that she dont lie about this

Answer 9

maybe she is embarrassed for divorcing then remarrying

only thing i can think of

Answer 10

I call it 'selective amnesia'.