I'm 15 and my babys father keeps coming and going..?

Question

I'm 15. My baby is almost a month old. Yes I know that I'm very young. It was a mistake. I take care of my own child and I go to school and have a job. The daddy of my baby will come and see Caliana (our daughter) for like an hour every once in a while. Then he says he'll come and take her for the weekend and he'll call me before he comes and gets her. He never calls. A week later he'll call and say something came up. So I told him to forget it, and that if he's gonna keep doin this he doesn't need to see her. So I told him to call me when he's ready to take care of OUR kid. He got mad and left. I feel kinda bad that I'm not letting him see his daugther but do you think it was the right thing to do? If not, then what should I do?

I meant we didn't plan to have a kid. That's what I meant by mistake. I dont think my daughters a mistake. Im not giving her up for adoption

Answer 1

I was 17 when I had my child & his "Dad" (should be donor) is the same way my child is now 9 and hsi "Dad " still comes in and out of his life. You are her mom and u will always be there for her. Dont let him continue to do this because you will have to explain to your little girl why he does this. There is nothing harder in this world than tryin to explain to someone you love with all your heart why their "dad" doesnt see them. I am to this day fighting for child support (I have only recieved 1 payment of $45 in 9 yrs). All you can do is love your baby as much as mom and dad. It is so heart breaking when a father acts as if he doesnt care. Sit down with him and explain that he either needs to be there for her or get out and stay out cause even though she is a baby she still senses when u are upset and down and this is a big reason to be down. I hope everything works out for you. If you ever have any ? my email is [e-mail] feel free to get int ouch with me

Answer 2

So you think your child is a mistake? No wonder you are having problems. I really doubt that at 15 you have a job since here in the states most employers won't hire under age 18. I would say your CHOOSING to have sex was a mistake, something you should have thought about before doing. Your baby's father doesn't HAVE to come see the baby if he doesn't WANT to. You can not keep him from seeing the child. Frankly I think you should give the baby up for adoption since you feel she is a mistake, and don't have sex until you are mature enough to take on the consequences of your actions rather than calling them a mistak.

Answer 3

If you told him to call you when he is ready then you are not really keeping him from seeing the baby. I think you shouldn't be too concerned about what he does, the only person you need to focus on is your baby. And you shouldn't say she's she was a mistake now that she is born. You need to be responsible for your daughter and love her. There are many single mothers in the world like myself and I am making it on my own with my 5 month old baby and I'm only 18 years old. I don't care about my baby's father, the only important person for me in the world is my beautiful daughter. I believe that she is a gift from God and I think you just need to stay strong live fo Caliana and eventually you will see how your life will change for the better.

Answer 4

Well you are both young. While we as moms expect that "daddy" will be there to help they sometimes just don't. I am a single mother to 3 little girls. The oldest I had when I was 16. Her daddy only comes around when he feels like it. Although he sees her randomly they share a bond you and I could not understand since he isn't there.

Take care of your baby. Let him see her. She needs as much of her mommy and DADDY as she can get. Eventually he might become more interested when she can run, play, and talk.

Good Luck

Answer 5

Don't fell bad about someone else's faults. He's probably as young as you are,and can't see the responsibility,because he's not the mother. Both your parents and his should help out with the care of the child,until your old enough to do it yourself. Reality does'nt take but a moment to kick in. He will see what he's missing,and will eventually come around more often. Until then,continue doing what your doing,because your working very hard to raise your child,go to school,work,etc. I commend you!.

Answer 6

You need to go after him for child support. When he starts paying up, then he can see his daughter. He sounds like a dead beat dad. My baby's "father" is not much better, he sees her a few times a week but hasn't paid me a dime to help me with her care. Give yourself a pat on the back for doing the right thing in taking care of your kid though you are so young. Stay strong and good luck!

Answer 7

well he can not come and go as he pleases, if it were only that easy! set up some times for him to come and if he doesn't come and get her tell him that those were his last chances and now he can't see her until he's ready to be responsible! Set some ground rules! At 15 I'm sure it's hard, i know many teenage mothers it's never easy Just be glad he's still around but like i said don't let him take advantage of it!

Answer 8

How about this if you weren't a whore and didn't open you legs to every guy you know you wouldn't have a kid. Don't ruin his life because your a s l u t. Give the baby away you are to Young to raise a kid properly just look how your life is going so far.

Answer 9

honey how old is the father? if he is near your age it has to be hard for him. good for you for staying in school and working. what you have to decide is what you think is best for your child. only you can decide this. Do you think it will be best for your child to see her father every once in awhile or do you think it is best that she just live without him...sometimes it truly is better for the child....remember the baby is only a month old...at this point you should let him see her when he can...alot of men(boys) should i say in this case dont know what to do with babies he may come around more when she can walk and talk and stuff...you should definately file for child support.

Answer 10

well, it was kind of his fault. your baby isn't just a thing that he can see whenever he likes and just leave it there if he doesn't feel like seeing her. even if it was a mistake or he didn't like having a kid, it is his responsibility to at least see, or take care of her. not just anytime he wants. and you're not like a babysitter where he leaves you the child. he has to at least act responsible now that he has his own child. ask him if he actually dislike your child or something and tell him his responsibility as a father!