You are trapped at home with 3 kids under 2, they've screamed all day, all you've said all day is "stop pushing your brother, Get down from there, what's in your mouth? don't do that, stop throwing your food..."
I think they are trying to kill me.
Daddy works 14 hours a day and very rarly can I find someone to help me.
Sometimes I just want to run away.
I'm loosing my mind.
2006-10-04 11:15:18 · 25 answers · asked by Lesley C 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I've been there! It is rough. Especially when you are home with them all day, everyday! You don't have much of a social life and spen all of you time talking baby talk and yelling. I used to have to just go outside sometimes and sit on the porch and cry. It seemed to make me feel better. Another thing that I sometimes still do is go to my cousins website. www.jeffreyben.com.
He went missing a few years ago and earlier this year they found his remains. He was murdered. I go to his website and read his guestbook. Then, I think about what his mother would do to have her son there to just look at one more time. I think about what she would do to have him there to make her mad, or make a mess. Then, I feel ashamed of myself for acting the way that I sometimes do. It calms me down and helps me to realize that my problems aren't so big!
2006-10-04 11:22:08 · answer #1 · answered by #3ontheway! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was there I found a moms group. And I exercised. What's the connection?
Well it didn't make me super skinny or anything but it helped me feel better. Just getting the kids out of the house and going for a good walk with them made me feel good.
I would have a walking route planned out that ended up at a mellow, quiet park. And then when I would get back the kids would be all tired out. I would make some soup and we would have a snack and then a quiet short video and then we would have a group nap and wow.. that was great!!! Just what the ole mom needed.
Moms groups they are great! And free and a great way for your kids to blow off some steam and you to have a chance to talk with women who are there too.
Story times at library's are great too. Just for a change of scenery...
But if things are still overwhelming you, you might need help. This may take form of having someone watch the children while you have a day off once a week. or this might mean you have the baby blues and you need anti-depressants.
2006-10-04 11:23:34 · answer #2 · answered by lesbianmommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do when you are about to snap, is put all the kids in a safe place, (like a baby proofed room) and leave them in there for a few minutes while you take a breather. maybe get one of those stress balls that you squish to release some frustration. or you can scream in a pillow, that works for some people. whatever you do, dont let your children see you act out in these ways, that is why i say put them in a safe room for a few minutes. just know that they are not trying to make you mad, i know that is hard to believe sometimes but really they arent. it really sounds like you need a good break though, if you have any neighbors, friends, relatives, anyone you can trust, see if they can babysit for you for a few hours so you can be alone for a while. im sure if you told them what you said on here they would be willing to help you. good luck.
2006-10-04 12:06:03 · answer #3 · answered by krystal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No your not losing your mind. Been there, done that. Get a relative, friend, ect. to give you a break for an hr. or so and take a break. If you can't do that, put in a video that they all seem to enjoy and sit down with them when they are quiet. Join a support group and talk to your husband about how you feel. Maybe he can do something about the long hours. Good luck!
2006-10-04 11:19:07 · answer #4 · answered by psychomomof5girls 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step outside for just 10seconds cause thats all you have, scream then go in take a deep breath and remember how you can't live without these guys now. You would do anything for them and you love them more than they'll ever know. Think of all those little unhappy kids out there and look at the smiles on your kids' faces...its makes it all worth while and remember bed time will be soon. Goodluck
2006-10-04 11:19:22 · answer #5 · answered by amgpsycho 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound normal to me. Lock yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes, put a towel in your mouth (and over it to, to muffle the sound) and SCREAM at the top of your lungs, cry if you need to, just DO NOT let your kids see it because they will not understand at ALL and it will scare them. Find another mom with the same problem as you if you can and try to trade off kids for an hour or 2 every 2 or 3 days for a little relief!!! Your kids need it too!!!!! And try to go outside A LOT with your kids, it wears them out! Plus they love it....
2006-10-04 11:18:24 · answer #6 · answered by Elizabeth L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. I had six. 3 were stairstep ages. Couldn't keep the house clean or get a nap. I can only say calm down and enjoy them while they are young. This is when they are a joy in disguise. Take it from a mother who now has adults for kids. I know it seems overwhelming but it gets a little better when they are in school all day. Good luck.
2006-10-04 11:20:30 · answer #7 · answered by Jacks036 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your man, tell him that you would appreciate it if you could take the children to daycare at least once a week, so maybe you could have some quiet time, go shopping have lunch with a friend or meet your man for lunch. One day a week doesn't sound like much, but it may help. I know daycare can be expensive, but maybe if you pre-pay for it the day care would give you a discount.
2006-10-04 11:19:45 · answer #8 · answered by preshus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to that. Sometimes at that age, they still need naps (quiet time for mom). Or if youe able to find an activatie that keeps them busy and teaches them it helps too. Or get a couple of cage with locks on them. No I'm just kidding. But seriously, learning material keeps them busy and also helps them learn at the same time.
2006-10-04 11:20:12 · answer #9 · answered by lambchop20002003 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get all the kids on the same schedule so they all go down for naps at the same time.... While they are down is your time.... Don't clean, don't cook, don't do anything for anyone else during that time... Have a bath, read a book, sit on the porch, do something you enjoy (craft, paint, stand in your closet and scream)
To gain some control initiate a penalty system... Write down each thing you normally have to scold the children for...... Then make a list of house rules... Write them down on a chart, you children can't read but they know what a list of rules are...
Write down a penalty for breaking the each rule next to the rule... For instance "Pushing your brother " = 2 minutes in time out.... "Climbing up on things you are not supposed to be on" = 2 minutes time-out... Make a strict no tattling policy or your children will quickly begin trying to get the others placed in time-out and it will be come an "I'm telling mom" war....
Set up a time-out area, a chiar or corner without anything in it.. Get an egg timer so you can set it for the number of minutes time out required... When you place the child in time out be firm tell them they are in time out tell them the reason and tell them the amount of time they are required to stay... For the first while you will have to return them to time out because they will need to learn what it is..
It will take a week or 2 of clear consistant behavior on your part to fully impliment the new system... Once it's implimented allow the system to grow with the children, if they start a new behavior that is not something you want them to do tell them they need to stop and never do it again or it will become a rule and get a penalty... Yes, use the larger words.. Children understand the words we use because we use them just like a chinese baby understands chinese because that's what his/her parents speak...
From what you are describing you are spending all day trying to corral your herd... A list of rules and swift consistant penalties will help tame them... Once they are tamed and you are not constantly having to correct the same behavior over and over and over... Your day will run more smoothly.... You will feel less stressed and you will be able to do more constructive activities with your kids because you won't feel you can't take them out for fear of them acting the fool in public... When in public if they break a rule for instance "Pushing another child at the playground" they will serve the time-out just like at home but the time out is next to you on the park bench at the playground... take the egg timer with you...
Let the children help you make new rules and decide on penalties as they get older... Do not let them dictate the rules and penalties let them have input..
Make sure your husband is onboard with you so when he is home he knows the rules and knows the penalties and is ready to assist should a rule be broken in front of him...
2006-10-04 11:48:56 · answer #10 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋