What should i do ? am i being to harsh??

Question

i had moved in to my boyfriends mums house when i found i was pregnant. She was always funny with me but my bf says she was just shy (i knew differently though) When we told her i was pregnant she went mad and told him i had to go because her boyfriend didn't want the baby about.wehad no intention 2stay dere as we couldn't wait to move out. She insisted to my boyfriend that we would not be able to afford it. and she said to me i should have an abortion. But she didn't mentiont that to her son. Now the whole family act as though i have raped him and made my self pregnant to get him money (*****) we successfully moved out and are getting ready for the baby. She hasn't contacted him since. and when he went to his old house to get something she tryed to convince him to leave me and come home (*****) she makes no effort with me and the whole family tell pple he is not happy. Now that the baby is nearly here. She rings up and asks if she can buy4 da baby.was it wrong 2say fuckoff.

Answer 1

first congrats on your new baby,
i would have done the same..especially since she didn't even want a you to have it

Answer 2

I think you were right. I know inlaws can be tricky but in all fairness who does she think she is. You will be far better off without her in yours and your babies life. She obviously is not close to her son, if she didnt even bother to contact him when you moved out. Maybe she feels too young to become a grandmother. Some woman go crazy at the thought of being old enough to be a grandmother. Especially if she is under 50. You have your own family to think about now. No-one else matters. so dont let anyone come in the way of your happiness. Good luck with everything.x

Answer 3

Being 7 months pregnant myself I feel so sorry for you, it must be really hard to have to deal with that as well as all the other usual pregnancy stuff! It sounds like your boyfriend's mum is having a problem realising he's not her little boy anymore and that he will soon have a family of his own to worry about - maybe his mother feels a little put out by this - that she will no longer be the centre of his universe? You have every right to stand your ground and hopefully your boyfriend has the sense to realise that his responsibilities lie with you and your baby now and is standing by you and defending you in this. You are not being to harsh in telling her to F-off; sometimes people just need putting in their place! As far as people believing that you are making your boyfriend unhappy, as long as the people that matter most to you know the truth then you could tell the rest to F-off too! It's no-ones business but yours and just remember to keep talking and communicating with each other then you and your boyfriend will cope. Good luck with the baby - nerve wracking isn't it?!?!

Answer 4

Your boyfriends mother has apparently never accepted the fact that her son is grown and no longer needs mothering. Nor has she accepted the fact that not everything goes according to her plans and she cannot dictate his life any longer. You have apparently stepped on her toes as this is not what she foresaw for her son. There is little you can do until she accepts the fact that her son is man and about to become a father. Your boyfriend must take a stand, confront her with the fact that you are part of his life, and to accept it and make an effort with you or he will have no choice but to cut her out of his life. He must make her aware that he knowledgeable of her gossiping with other family members concerning his relationship with you and he will not stand for it any longer. He needs to tell her she must apologize for the wrongs she has done you. Only then can the fences be mended and a standing relationship be established between you and her. Remember too that the birth of a child can miraculously mend fences.

Answer 5

That is so harsh. BF's mothers can be a very tricky thing.
She might be a mental case or she may have had trouble dealing with her son growing up and having children of his own.
At the end of the day she had no right to behave that way and I'm glad your partner is sticking by you and not his mother.
If anyone had ever told me to have an abortion I would of freaked out and gone mad at them.
Its your baby and your and your partners choice. Its nothing to do with anyone else.

If I were you I would cut off all contact immediately, even if its just you and your baby and not your partner.

you could let her buy lots of things then cut her off!! Although that would probably make you look bad.

The family is quite mad and so involved in themselves that they cant think of anyone else's feelings.

Your partners mother obviously just wants to see the baby and is still not interested in you.

Arr Fu*k em, they are not worth it.

:)

Answer 6

Well I had an experience almost the same. When my husband and I has our son (now3) (wernt married when he was born). My mom tried the same thing. She tried so hard to get me to leave him and stay with her. His parents were excited, but I did have to tell my own mother off cause she wasnt making anything better for us and we werent so well off (money wise). I believe you did the right thing for the time being. I bet you after your son is born she will regret saying what she said. If she insists on being the way she is. She souldnt beable to see your son till she has a positive attitude around you as a new mother and your bf also cause its new for both of you and having his mother breathing down your back everytime she thinks you did something wrong isnt good for you or your new born. If the new born sences stress, or tenson, It cant be good for him. His mother needs to accept the situation and learn that she can not baby her son(your bf). that is what I believe. i hope it helps.

Answer 7

She did not handle thing well at all. I just recently went through my (17 yr.) son becoming a father....and I was not happy about it at all. If you aren't in her house, then don't worry about how she feels. If you and your boyfriend are happy, then you will raise a happy baby. The hardest part is to put your feeling's aside so that your baby doesn't have to be raised in that type of environment. No matter what, she is still you boyfriends mother, and your baby's grandma. They will always love her no matter what. Try to focus on more important things than her ignorance.

Answer 8

I went thorugh something similar although the other way around (I the bloke and my dad wanted me to leave my then girlfriend, now wife). Don't worry, if she really cares, she'll come around. If not, it's not your problem, you need to focus on your life and relationship. The worst thing in the world is to go through an abortion (I've been there too) and for problems with parents to affect the relationship of a young couple about to have a baby. Just remember to do whatever you feel is right.

Answer 9

Nope, I would have done the same thing. Good luck with the baby.
My mother said some horrible things about my husband when I was in labor with my son. he told her to fuckoff. I was yelled at for 30 minutes, but he had every right to tell her that. I stood up for him and both my mom and dad thought he was out of line.

Answer 10

Man it's so sad but this happens all the time. Your boyfriend's mum doesn't want to let him go, you could be the Queen and you still wouldn't be good enough for her son in her eyes. I don't know if "**** off" was ideal but if she wants to be involved now you need to tell her (with your boyfriend backing you up) how unreasonable she has been and that she has hurt you both. She needs to build up trust again, and buying her way in isn't the way to do it. Maybe she has realised she could be missing out on such a joyous time for you and wants to fix it. You and your boyfriend definitely need to have a chat with her. If she is willing to make changes to the way she is, you can get on with her well. You both need to be co-operative to each other and things can turn out fine for the family. Good luck with it, and with your new baby!

Answer 11

No, but know that you're going to need, if not want, her help. Believe me, when you need that break, Grandma comes in real handy. You should call her back (or wait for her to call) and let her know what you need. Because of all the love and support, I've been blessed with only having to buy a car seat, some undershirts and socks, one pair of shoes, and diapers. Believe me, it's been a load off not to buy new clothes every few months.