Don't want children at our reception?

Question

Ok, so we don't want children at our reception. But, me being the person that I am, I don't want to put any pressure on anyone with trying to find sitters & all the adults will be at the reception.

So, what I did is rented the room right next door, to where the reception will be held, and I'm going to hire a couple indivisuals to come and watch the children while the reception is going on. I was thinking about maybe ordering them pizzas and letting them watch movies, something like that. Am I putting stress on myself trying to arrange that, or should I just flat out say NO CHILDREN?

Answer 1

I think your idea of the extra room is a good one, but there will be the odd couple or two there that will still let their kids into the reception. Go with the No Children, please. It is your day and you should have things the way you want them. If someone is offended, it is their problem and they can stay home if they want. I think in the long run your idea will cause you more stress, because kids will sneak out and make it into the reception. Or their parents will go get them.

Because we parents always feel our kids are the exception and the exceptional. It's human nature. Be firm.

There were a lot of kids at my daughter's reception because the groom had lots of brothers and sisters. They ate too much food, started drinking the punch before we were ready to serve, then finished off the punch so we didnt have enough that---because no one was watching them.

Answer 2

Its YOUR wedding, you should do what you want to do in your heart.

If it was me, I would just put "adults only reception", or "adults only ceremony and reception" on the invitation. The ettiquette here is pretty clear.Dont bring your kids, please.

But, if you have a large family with lots of neices and nephews, or if all of your friends have children and you anticipate an attendance problem because of the no kids policy, then the idea you had was great, but possibly stressful. And why not have all of the kids at your house, or a friends house, instead of right next door to your reception? Parents might not be able to relax if their kids are next door, and vice versa.
Keep in mind, parents arent usually pressured to find sitters. If someone has kids, they usually have a sitter or two that they can call. You arent putting anyone out. And those parents might actually be looking forward to an adult only activity, such as your wedding.

Bottom line, its YOUR day, the start of your wonderful marriage. You should do what makes you happy, comfortable, and is the easiest on (what promises to be) a very stressful few months of planning.

Answer 3

Nobody can answer this question but you.
If you know there will be people unable to attend due to childcare and you REALLY want them there the babysitters are a WONDERFUL solution.
If you are only having sitters there to keep kids out of the reception it wont work... children will want their parents from time to time and no babysitter in the world is going to change that. If this is truly the case write plainly on the envelope ONLY the parents names (even then you will occasionally run into the couple that dont pay attention to the fact that their children were NOT invited) but it is considered rude to put "no children please" or "adults only function" or any other statement of that type.


I am having babysitters at my wedding too, but I figured the kids would occasionally come in and join the adult festivities. The idea was that the kids wouldnt have to be bored and then become ill behaved.

If you decide to go with babysitters make sure you factor in some activities besides movies (coloring books and crayons from a dollor store? board games? costumes to dress up in? etc) and serving smaller portions of the adults meal will likely be cheaper than ordering seperate pizzas.

Good luck.

Answer 4

I think your idea is perfect. I am a NO KIDS person too, but I know that many parents can't leave their children at home. This is especially true if many of your guests are related - normally, you would ask your mom or sister to babysit, but if they will attend the wedding also, it becomes a bit of a problem. Actually, a lot of people set up a private room for the kids to deal with this sort of situation. You can add a little insert or card to the wedding invitations, noting that there will be a separate room for the kids and could the guests please use this room so as not to disturb other guests during the reception.

Answer 5

you are putting WAY to much stress on yourself!! its nice that you are trying to accommodate those with children, but stop and think what you are actually doing. you are putting way more stress on yourself than needed, plus are you really going to want to wait to have your first dance or wait to cut the cake or wait yet again to through the bouquet because all the parents keep visiting the "children's room" to make sure everything is going well? also don't for one minute think the kids will not through a fit knowing that their parents are in the next room and they can't come over. you inevitably will end up having at least half of the kids at your reception anyway. also look at it from this angel.....the parents would probably enjoy a fun night out AWAY from the kids for an evening! bottom line it is your day, so there is no reason to add one more thing to your already full plate. congrats and good luck!

Answer 6

You honestly need to discuss this with your guest prior to making the arragnments.

If guest disagree with it, then you would of saved yourself money and energy putting together something that would of gone to waist.

However, guest my agree to it as it gives some "adult time" but knowing their children are right there being properly taken care of. Can "check in" on them anytime they feel the need to.

The con: Parents still can break your "no children" role by allowing them to still come into the recpetion if their children are "acting up" or "crying if parent leaves" thing. As a day care teacher, extremly common.

You have to figure out the regulation at that point.

However, you strongly have to find a skilled and qualifiable individual to care for these children of all ages from infancy to school age (early teen).

You need to define "adult". Is adult 18+ or 21+? Some might get offended if their 15 year old is not able to attend.

Reason why you need to discuss this with guest and then get an over all answer to declare if "no children" v.s "child care provided" will happen.

I honestly say "no children" route myself. My mom has been to a few of those and my older siblings watched me as we were of age or we be watched by our normal baby sitter if my older sister couldn't that day etc.

Answer 7

You're definitely putting unnecessary stress on yourself. Just put on the invitation Adult reception to follow. For one thing, I have kids and I'm not offended when I can't bring them. I understand that some functions are better for adults only. It actually gives me an excuse to get a sitter. You are entitled to have whatever reception you want.
I wouldn't hire people to watch the kids for a couple of reasons. A lot of people are picky about who watches their kids (i am). I wouldn't leave my kids with people I don't know. Also they will be next door, so you know they will make their way to the reception eventually anyway, and I wouldn't wan the liability. If one of the kids gets hurt in the care of the people you hire it could be a lot of trouble.
It sounds good in theory, but I wouldn't do it. Yes some people will moan or groan, just chalk it up to not being able to make every one happy. Just worry about you, not everyone else. Believe me you'll be happier if you do.

Answer 8

As a parent of two small children, I can tell you it's totally understood if you flat out say no kids. I understand if you don't want to sample my particular brand of crazy on your special day. Plus I'd rather watch the ceremony than my squirrelly toddlers, I'm sure the majority of your guests would find kids distracting. To provide an area is above and beyond what most folks do for their guests - aren't you thoughtful! Trust me, parents kinda see it as an opportunity to spend time together, alone, a luxury few actually get to indulge. I would definately make exceptions for the breastfed baby. Even a small seperation can screw that all up. Just be courteous in your wording on your invitations.

Answer 9

I think that is a great idea - and i'm sure all the parents will really appreciate it.. They can have fun and not have to look after their kids... I think that saying 'no children' would make it difficult for some of your guest. Do you have a family or friend who has a big house and all the kids could go there and watch movies and eat pizza... Bring sleeping bags and have an overnight party if the wedding goes late into the night? - I think you're on to a good idea and should stick with it.

Answer 10

I was going to do EXACTLY the same things as you BUT I went ahead with the no children and the people who came loved it...in many cases the parents who would have normally brought the kids felt they then had a good excuse to get a sitter. We made one exception for our MC who was coming from a very long distance and they brought their daughter.

I onlyhad one person ask about it that was upset....hey, look at it this way...If you choose chicken..siomeone will want beef..this is YOUR wedding!!!!! Would you let other people decide if you should wear a strapless dress or one wiht sleeves?!??!

Get my point. You have enough to worry about. Send out the invites with specific names. If anyone asks, just simply say " Yes, it was my descion"...and stop..they will have to be pretty rude to push it. What you can do is have a list of babysitters that could go babysit for them at the hotel or their home that they could use. But that would be as far as I went.