What would you do? How would you react?

Question

Yesterday evening, I was supposed to pick up my 14 year old niece at 6 pm. I went to pick her up and she ran out and smacked my window about a mile before I got to her boyfriend's house, where she was supposed to be. She'd gone off to the skate park instead, with her friends. She swore her mom knew and that it was okay, so I said I'd pick her up at 7:30. I came back and couldn't find her. I drove out 1/4 tank of gas looking for her, worrying. I finally found her. My fear turned to anger, making me so mad I couldn't see straight, hardly. We had plans this week-- I even took a day off work to spend time with her, go fun places, enjoy all of it. We were going to go to Cypress Gardens and Kissimmee. She knew the plans but said, after all I'd been through and with me going to lose $50 on my next paycheck for the day off, that she wants to spend the night at a sleepover instead. I left the situation in her parents hands, but what should I do-- how should I react?

If possible, I would also like to know what teenage girls think.
I emailed the question to my niece so she can check it out, see what people think of this situation, and I'd like us both to be able to hear what others in her age group think and what she thinks, if she'd like to answer.

Answer 1

You can't make her go with you, so just go to work!

But if my niece did that, I'd be livid with her right now. I wouldn't take her anywhere until she got her act straight!

Answer 2

I'd be angry! young teenagers (no matter how selfish they are), have to learn that when you go back on your word people take you less seriously. She is also just young and probably wanting to hang out with her friends more than her aunt (sorry). I would, however, make sure that her parents know of the skate park event. It's possible that she was lying to you-in which case she will have no plans at all and you won't miss work. She needs to learn how to treat people now. If she doesn't, she'll be shooting herself in the foot later on in life. Don't be too mad-but teach her a lesson.

Answer 3

Report all of this to her parents, and help support them in dealing with it as they see fit.
Keep in mind that teenagers become more & more interested in what their peers are doing, and spending time with them, than family--so do not take it personal. And of course, someone that age is not going to be the least bit concerned about your resulting costs & inconvience over her behavior...she is only concerned about what is best for her. So hopefully her parents will have a game plan for getting the young lady to see how her disrespectful behavior affects her own life also.
She is not the little girl you remember from over the years, having probably known her since birth...she is spreading her wings, and trying to gain her independence, not realizing that responsibility comes with those "freedom privledges".
Be patient, find a way to deal with your feelings, and move on. She sure will, so do not give her too much power over the way you feel & act.

Answer 4

Kids these days feel no respect, is all about what do i get?
I think you should go to work, make those $50 and on your next day off treat yourself with that money. Buy yourslrf a pair of shoes or get a facial or a new perfume, just do something just for you. and next time she wants to hang out, try to make yourself a little unavailbe.

Answer 5

she is only 14 and if that were my neice she wouldn't be leaving out anywhere unless it were with me and as far as boyfriend what does she know about an boyfriend?education is the key to life not some knucklehead.If I we're you the money and the money used for gas that you lost she would work her tail off to pay every dime back.And if she wanted to go some where it would be at a friends with parent supervision and if she stayed with me and i had to stepout she would either be going or she would be with an responsible sitter. And every action that she has being unruley she would be punished.(grounded) no company,phone,music,t.v,friends,boyfriend or going anywhere. anything she messed up she would replace.

Answer 6

I would start by asking her mom if she really did have permission to go to the skate park.

I would also stop going out of my way to do nice things for her. When she's 25 and grown out of the teenage attention span she will learn to be respect full again.

Answer 7

You should remember that she is 14. She needs to learn responsibility and respect but do you really want to take a person out that does not want to be w/ you? I would let her go to the sleepover but the next time she wants you to take her out remind her of this episode and tell her she will need to sit that one out:)

Answer 8

my own niece tried something similar on me,,i explained to her, that it was irresponsible of her and i wanted the names of her friends that were with her,,i spoke with the parents and found that none of the teens had permission to go to the mall which is where i found her and her hoodlum friends,, i also explained to my niece that by misuseing my trust is a sure way for her to lose contact of the only family she had that helped her all her life , by help i mean buying school clothes, supllies, food , also some spoiling which i realize is the problems root, like movies concerts, im sure it is similar in your case, just let her know what she stands to lose by dissrespecting you in the future

Answer 9

Kids these days are very unpredictable. You should tell her the situation and how heartbroken you are. Maybe she did want to spend time with you and it was just peer pressure. Something like you'd rather spend time with your aunt than us your cool friends. Try talking to her about it. Talking makes it better sometimes.

Answer 10

I think you should be understanding. She's just a kid and would rather do the sleepover with all her friends rather than hang with her aunt. But I guess at the same time she should be taught that doing that is very rude and she shouldn't only think about herself.