I one of my earlier questions I mentioned that my pet vietnamese potbellied pig, named Gordon, might have homosexual tendencies.
Because we are new to Denver, we are wanting to meet new friends, and so yesterday we invited over Mr Irwin, a retired accountant. My wife made sandwiches, and Mr Irwin was telling us about double entry book keeping.
Without warning, Gordon mounted Mr Irwins leg and rutted, in an state of arousal.
Normally Gordon loses interest if you fake an orgasm. But although we were urging this advice, Mr Irwin just wasnt getting it. In the end, my wife and I managed to pull Gordon off, but not before he had left a stringy deposit on Mr Irwins trousers.
Rev Falwell says homosexuality between two human beings is a sin.
Is it homosexuality if it is between a pig and a man?
Can a priest deprogramme Gordon?
We want you to know that we have given Gordon much love and care; we cant understand this at all.
2006-10-04 09:15:15 · 18 answers · asked by Pastor Sauce 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
People, you cant report me for this. Gordon shags peoples legs. My wife and I are at the end of our wits. Can you blame us? We have come here for spiritual guidance on how to cope with the situation. Look into your Born Again Christian hearts and ask `How Would I Cope If I Had a Homosexual Pet`?
2006-10-04 09:22:20 · update #1
Stella of Yahoo: You are a good person with a heart. Dont issue a Violation Notice. It will unjustly besmearch my good name.
2006-10-04 09:23:34 · update #2
Most of you answered that pigs have souls - see previous question. So Gordon needs to redeem himself, no?
2006-10-04 09:32:13 · update #3
Stella of Yahoo - if you give me a Violation Notice, so we dont get an answer, my wife and I may have little alternative but to have Gordon put down.
You are a decent person, whom I admire (and secretly think is quite sexy).
Would you want Gordons death on your conscience? No, so dont strike out this question, please.
2006-10-04 10:17:58 · update #4
That was so funny I almost fell off my chair!
Don't worry about Gordon. According to Christians animals don't have souls and therefore can't be held accountable for their actions. At least he won't be consigned to piggy hell for being gay.
Can I report all these people who reported you for having no sense of humor?
2006-10-04 09:19:53 · answer #1 · answered by Skippy 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
It appears that Gordon is suffering from Homobestiality. Before I continue, I want you to know that I am a Christian. I fully accept the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior. Unfortunately a priest can not help Gordon as pigs have no soul and are incapable of sin. I must admit, as a Christian I find it quite puzzling that Gordon, by virtue of his being created by God as a pig, is free to rut and cavort with boars, sows or the unfortunate trouser leg of an accountant and there seems to be no divine retribution for his actions. I find this unfair to human homosexuals. Just because I am not inclined to give or recieve a homo hummer, doesn't mean I can't empathize with those who are and ponder the unfairness of it all. Of course, if you consider that women are always saying men are pigs- then maybe it can be ok after all.
2006-10-04 09:23:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Thank you. That was by far the most entertaining question asked today. I'm sure that in this whacked out era of pseudo religion you will have no problem finding someone to deprogramme, brainwash, baptize, indoctrinate, or flagellate your pig. Gordon wouldn't happen to be a Neo-Con would he? (That would explain everything)
2006-10-04 09:23:06 · answer #3 · answered by Murph 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
curiously that Gordon is plagued by Homobestiality. earlier I proceed, i desire you to correctly known that i'm a Christian. I totally settle for the Lord Jesus Christ as my own savior. regrettably a clergyman can no longer help Gordon as pigs have not have been given any soul and are incapable of sin. i'd desire to admit, as a Christian i locate it quite complicated that Gordon, by potential of distinctive characteristic of his being created by potential of God as a pig, is loose to rut and cavort with boars, sows or the unlucky trouser leg of an accountant and there seems to be no divine retribution for his movements. i locate this unfair to human homosexuals. in basic terms because of the fact i'm no longer vulnerable to furnish or recieve a homo hummer, would not recommend i can't empathize with people who're and contemplate the prejudice of all of it. of direction, in case you think approximately that ladies are continuously asserting adult men are pigs- then in line with risk it truly is fantastic after all.
2016-10-01 22:39:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That isn't homosexual behavior. If anything it would be beastiality, and it isn't even that because Mr. Irwin didn't participate. It's dominance behavior.
2006-10-04 09:25:30 · answer #5 · answered by Contemplative Chanteuse IDK TIRH 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Get the pig a girl friend. That would solve everything. My dead dog did that to cats. They were the same size so I don't think he knew the difference. The cats sure did.
2006-10-04 09:19:16 · answer #6 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Leave Gordon alone. What's a pig to do?
2006-10-04 09:19:06 · answer #7 · answered by Olivia 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Pretty funny. Even funnier was seeing who got p!ssed off at your post and 'reported' you. Wow. The number of little jack-booted politically correct fascists on these boards never fails to astonish me.
2006-10-04 09:21:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
yea it says not to have sex with the beast (animal sex and human is wrong) just pet the pig and put it outside to sleep or find it a friend. Sodom and gor...more
2006-10-04 09:24:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
hey, im not born again anything, but anyone knows this is humanality arising from overfamiliarity with the porcine
2006-10-04 09:18:53 · answer #10 · answered by st.uncumber 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋