Ok here is the situation...I have been haning with this girl for a while and just recently she opened up out of no where and said that she had been a victim of rape. What would be the best way to handle a situation like this.
2006-10-04 09:12:05 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
be there for her...be a friend and offer your support
2006-10-04 09:14:44 · answer #1 · answered by sweetiepi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i can imagine that you were and still maybe shocked to have heard her tell you this but the best way to handle the situation is by being there for her and not making her feel like she deserved being sexually assaulted. I think you should continue being with her because it wasn't her fault and you shouldn't hold her being raped against her. Just be her friend as you have been doing. Good Luck!
2006-10-04 16:16:57 · answer #2 · answered by la_reina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having been a victim of rape I can honestly tell you there is NO perfect way to handle this situation... The best thing anyone ever said to me when I confided in them was.. "I'm so sorry that happened to you." It was so heartfelt and honest. They let me know that if I ever wanted or needed to talk to someone about it they would listen... they also said that they couldn't promise they'd know what to say or how to react... but they'd try and they'd always listen.
2006-10-04 16:16:25 · answer #3 · answered by anh0731 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be understanding, it probably isn't the first time you have had contact with a woman that was raped but it is the 1st time you knew. When and if you become sexually intimate go slow and don't get p.o.'d if she freezes up at first. it will help if there is some light and she keeps her eyes open and on you=at least it helped me. It doesn't change who she is.
Good luck.
Somewhere in America, a woman is raped every 2 minutes, according to the U.S. Department of Justice.
In 1995, 354,670 women were the victims of a rape or sexual assault. (NationalCrime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 1996.)
Over the last two years, more than 787,000 women were the victim of a rape or sexual assault. (National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S.Department of Justice, 1996.)
The FBI estimates that 72 of every 100,000 females in the United States wereraped last year. (Federal Bureau of Investigation, Uniform Crime Statistics, 1996.)
SILENT VICTIMS :
One of the most startling aspects of sex crimes is how many go unreported. The most common reasons given by women for not reporting these crimes are the belief that it is a private or personal matter and the fear of reprisal from the assailant.
Approximately 28% of victims are raped by husbands or boyfriends, 35% by acquaintances, and 5% by other relatives. (Violence against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994)
The FBI estimates that only 37% of all rapes are reported to the police. U.S. Justice Department statistics are even lower, with only 26% of all rapes or attempted rapes being reported to law enforcement officials.
In 1994-1995, only 251,560 rapes and sexual assaults were reported to law enforcement officials -- less than one in every three. (National Crime Victimization Survey, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 1996.)
An overwhelming majority of rape service agencies believe that public education about rape, and expanded counseling and advocacy services for rape victims, would be effective in increasing the willingness of victims to report rapes to the police. (Rape in America, 1992, National Victim Center with Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center.)
2006-10-04 16:20:49 · answer #4 · answered by rwl_is_taken 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and let her open up. If she needs help like counseling, assure her that it would be the best thing to do. She has gone through a trumatic event in life and if you can be there for her, it will really help. Always be honest with her in your talks and dealings. If you have feelings for her, let her know that the awful thing that she was subjected to will not deter you from your feeling towards her. After all, it was not her fault, she was a victim. She will appreciate your honesty. Good luck!!! GaryT
2006-10-04 16:15:55 · answer #5 · answered by gary t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dealt with this being the one that was raped and confided in someone. The worst thing you could do was act different around her then normal. Don't make her feal ashamed for it. It isn't her fault. If she hasn't reported the rape suggest her to file charges if she knows who it is but don't push her into it. It will cause problems. offer to go with her to press charges. Keep her company. And most of all be there for her to lean on when she is dealing with it and is upset over the event.
2006-10-04 16:15:19 · answer #6 · answered by derbygrljess86 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What ever you do try not to talk about it, unless she feels like talking to you about it. Try to comfort her what ever you do. My friend Bre is right here now and she said a lot of people in her family have been raped, she also said that what ever you do Don't bring up the subject because it will make her uncomfortable around you and other men.
Sincerely,
Laurie, Bre, and Crissy
2006-10-04 16:20:03 · answer #7 · answered by Laurie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say, "I'm very sorry to hear that."
"If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here to listen."
Then if she ever wants to talk more about it, just listen attentively and don't say anything.
You could ask her if it was recent or how long ago, how she feels about it now.
You could also ask her if she's gotten help - seen a counselor to work through any issues etc.
What she probably wants you to know is that she's sensitive to any forced sexuality, and that if you want to take it to the next level, she needs you to go very slow.
2006-10-04 16:16:12 · answer #8 · answered by a_blue_grey_mist 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you care for this girl, then somehow let her know that rape is not her fault and it doesnt matter to you, then drop it, because it probably is very painful emotionally to keep remembering it...
2006-10-04 16:15:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rape can scar a women, cause her to be unable or unwilling to ever trust again. Be as understanding as you can, and get professional help
2006-10-04 16:14:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With patience and understanding.
Of course, I know nothing of your relationship. However, what she might be trying to tell you is that she is attracted to you but is carrying some baggage from a horrible experience that she/y'all will need to work through.
2006-10-04 16:16:13 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋