Ok, I thought he was too good to be true but i went on his computer and found a bunch of porn links. Which he said he never ever would watch. Also, I saw a bunch of letters from and about his ex. What do I do. Em I just setting myself up to be hurt again??
2006-10-04 08:31:10 · 15 answers · asked by shauna S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What bothers you the most:
a. That your boyfriend watches porn?
b. That your boyfriend watches porn and doesn't share that fact with you?
c. That your boyfried watches porn and lies about it to you?
d. That your boyfriend still has contact with his ex?
e. That your boyfriend hasn't been able to talk to you about the porn and the contact with his ex?
Hint: E is the one thing you should be MOST concerned about. If you guys can't talk about things then you won't make it.
2006-10-04 08:35:11 · answer #1 · answered by non_apologetic_american 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should know the porn thing was a lie what guy dosen't watch so that's ok any other lies in the future take it as a red flag as far as the ex I would question that because if she is no longer in the picture then there should be no memories of her including letters. I would ask him about that and ask him to be honest because your feelings are on the line. If you were snooping stop now because it seems you have found what you were looking for and now you can't deal with it.
2006-10-04 15:37:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
even though he lied to you, you violated his privacy without any reason too. Who cares about porn. Get over the porn. Most men watch it whether they tell you so or not. Its no big deal. Stop being so insecure and get some confidence in yourself. He is with you and will never have any of those ding dongs in porn. Second, the letters to me would be disturbing. If they are from her and about the two of them what do they say? Are they talking about getting back together? Having sex one more time? If it isn't anything like that then why are you trippin? Seems to me you got issues.
2006-10-04 15:36:54 · answer #3 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um...I hate to ask in such a public place, but what's wrong with porn? And why does it shock you that he didn't tell you he looks at it...What guy would tell a woman, 'Oh yea I love to frequent those XXX sites just about every night...'
He's got letters from his ex...and? I'm sure at one time he had feelings for his ex and the fact that he's got a few letters is really no big deal. Now if he's still having relations with her, that's different, but just holding on to some letters? That's all?
I'd say you need to loosen up a bit.
2006-10-04 15:37:42 · answer #4 · answered by Ghostman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, did he let you go on his computer? You kind of breached his privacy if you did without him knowing. I would not be concerned about the porn. Most guys have some type of porn stash. I would be concerned about about his letters to his ex. He may still have feelings for his ex.
I don't think you should be hasty and leave him. I would talk to him about it..and let him explain. But also be prepared for him to be angry at you because you did dig around his computer.
2006-10-04 15:35:38 · answer #5 · answered by Mav17 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares if he watches porn??? If you do ever find a guy that claims he doesn't - hes a liar!!!!!! As far as the letters from the ex - why are you going through his stuff?? Unless he left them laying around out in the open - you have no business doing that. If I was him I would dump your nieve snooping behind!!
2006-10-04 15:34:20 · answer #6 · answered by suzieh212006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn isn't bad if it's not "kiddy" porn. If he lied to you about it, maybe he thought it would turn you off.
As for the ex and letters.................do they say he still has feelings for her? If their not letters filled with things that could be hurting your relationship, maybe you shouldn't jump in haste. If their letters that hurt you, dump his butt.
Isn't it amazeing how sence the internet has been a big thing, how we find out more and more about the ones we love and have loved and it suprises us?
You got your proof.......so confront him. No way he can lie about it now!
2006-10-04 15:40:38 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a few questions to ask yourself. Do you mind him looking at porn or just that he lied? You need to talk to him about that. Also, what are you doing on his computer? Innocent accident or snooping? If you were snooping you are in no position to judge him. If you have suspicions about him you need to talk to him rather than go on a hunt through his stuff.
2006-10-04 15:37:53 · answer #8 · answered by Wendy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The porn is not and should not be a problem, get used to it...
The "ex" thing is much more of a concern...
Is there anything you are holding back from him sexually or are
you 100% into everything he wants ?
Don't give him a reason to go elsewhere to satisfy his fantasies.
2006-10-04 15:35:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lying is the No. 1 enemy of a healthy relationship. However, your heart is the judge. Leave him if you feel in your heart that he is a cheat. Never look back.
2006-10-04 15:37:54 · answer #10 · answered by seek_fulfill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋