Kinda long but I really need advice
Im about to turn 19 and Im 5 months pregnant with my first baby...I moved out of my house almost a year ago so that me and my boyfriend can live alone...But my mom just cant seem to let go...First she wnted to change the baby name that I picked into something else. Now me and my boyfriend are moving to a 2 bedroom house and she wants to basically decorate it her way...Shes already planning that shes going to give us this big wall unit which will take up alot of space and Im not really liking it I want to decorate my house the way I want...Not that I dont want my moms help I mean we both have the same style but I just want to do things my way now she thinks Im neglecting her help because I dont want the wallunit in my house...It makes me feel bad but thats just the way it is...She even wants to go to the baby store to do the registry list with me so she can pick out things she likes...I know shes just trying to help...But I dont know what to do.
2006-10-04 08:14:01 · 7 answers · asked by *Tiny Mommy* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Okay honey I am going to throw some perspective at you, altho I do think your mom needs to back up, you need to do it sooner rather than later, and more gentle than your new baby's skin. She is trying to help, and I see as an outsider that it is a power struggle. If I were you ( and I wish I was I'll explain after ) I would say esp when she's insisting in every aspect "Mom, I love you but I want to do this myself. I will ask for your help, but by pushing your ways on me ~ you are pushing me away. I adore you mom, and hope I can be the mom you were to me, but now, things are my decision. Don't be mad, but you are pushin to much on me." The important thing is to let her know she will not be left out. If she wants to help, tell her you will need her on the weekends after he/she is born. But unlike you my dear, when I was pregnant my mother had been dead for 5 years. And God do I wish she was there with me, helping me, readily available w/ advice. I had to learn all those mom things on my own, I see you love her,show her by being honest. No one has your back like your moms, wait til u hold your baby. Nothing compares to that love.Well may be God's love for us!
2006-10-04 08:30:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is great that you want to be on your own. It is very hard to tell your mother how you feel. Even if you had a great relationship while you was at home. However you are about to become a mother yourself and need to learn how to be one. Which isn't real hard. Just use your brain. And that goes for how to handle this with your mother. Let her know in the nicest way you can that you want to have a life of your own and that you are NOT a child any more. If you don't have room for the wallunit make sure to point that out to your mom. If that doesn't work ask if it could be sold and the money used on the baby Good luck hope it all works out
2006-10-04 08:27:15 · answer #2 · answered by sersa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to love your mom wanting to help, but you need to tell her how you feel. This is your baby, your house. You can tell her that she can give you her opinion about stuff, but ultimately, this is all yours. Be honest with your mom, she should be able to understand. I think she does this because she doesn't want to be left out on the important things of your life, so include her, just make sure she knows how you're feeling! Best of luck.
2006-10-04 08:18:45 · answer #3 · answered by marypaz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let it get to you. All moms do that. If you just say that you don't want it then she should understand. Shes doing it on purpose. She doesn't want you to go. Your still her baby even though your almost 20. But I wouldn't let your mom get her way. It's YOUR house and YOUR life with YOUR baby and YOUR boyfriend/husband. Stay firm. Tell her that you want her in your life just not that much in your life. But congrates on the new baby!
2006-10-04 08:39:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is doing more them helping,sit her down and talk to her tell her exactly how you feel,let her know this is your life you can make your own decisions.i sure she loves you very much and she trying to help out but it sounds like she is taking over things.if you don't do something now wait until the baby comes if will be very difficult. good luck
2006-10-04 08:25:18 · answer #5 · answered by emily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got a domineering mother too. I have 2 grown children myself, yet she still treats me like a child and if I don't do things her way, she gets upset. I've tried talking to her to no avail. Maybe your mom is different, maybe talking to your mom will help. Try it, if not, than nothing will help, no matter how old you get.
2006-10-04 08:24:36 · answer #6 · answered by venus11224 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to tell her that you need your own space! she needs to let go alittle. tell her that you want to do your own thing. but let her down easy. good luck with your baby!!
2006-10-04 09:22:39 · answer #7 · answered by balletgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋