I've been with my boyfriend 18 months, it wasn't the love at first site, but grew into it, he is the only man i 've had a deep soulmate type relationship with, i feel he truely wants to know everything about me, and is always there to comfort me on life chanllenges. I am heart broken now because i have chosen to end it. reason is, he is very irresponsible with money, borrows my money, makes up stories of
credit theft, etc, when really its his overspending that gets him in trouble,. i have not loaned him money or bailed him out for 9 months now, but we have a phone bill together that is always a struggle to collect his share, I feel theres a due date for both of us not just me. his credit is terrible, almost had a foreclosure in the past, 2 bankruptcies.
i won't let him live with me, but he was here the majority of the time, but not helping with groceries, etc.
I'm sick heartbrokern without him, should i put up with it for love or follow my head and get out.
2006-10-04 07:41:25 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've been in your shoes, so listen to me please! I know it hurts, and I know you genuinely care about him. But trust me, he will not change. You want a soulMATE, a husband, a father to your children in the future - you do not need to be a mother to a grown man! Again, I know right now you are hurting terribly, BUT, you WILL meet someone new. And when you realize what it is like to be with a MAN who takes his responsibilities, who can keep a job, who pays his bills - you will wonder why you stayed with this other guy so long! YOU DESERVE BETTER - no wait, you deserve THE BEST! Don't accept anything less. Don't compromise your values, your expectations, your life dreams - for anyone. I promise, you will find someone else that will be all the things you want in a man. And I can also promise, the pain will become less and less, just remain strong.
2006-10-04 07:47:50 · answer #1 · answered by Kristen G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the kind of person that believes you should always follow your heart, but I'm going to go with "follow your head" on this one, of course money isn't more important than love but I'm guessing you're constantly going to feel miserable about his behavior. My advice is that you talk to him and let him know that this is a problem for you, it's almost sure either his dad or somebody close to him acts the same way about money, so maybe it's not that big a deal for him. Let him know the difference it would make if he would just give you his share of the phone bill instead of you struggling to collect it. If you both love each other it shouldn't be a problem to have this conversation, if he doesn't put an effort to make you happy about this, then you should let him go...
2006-10-04 07:53:31 · answer #2 · answered by maryska■ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Expecting him to be better with money will always cause you pain. If love is that great between the two of you, you can conquer any obstacle. You don't find many guys that are that open and truly want to know everything about you. If you can handle it and you are at the stage of getting real serious or not, see if he let you control his finances. Most guys won't allow it, but if he loves you as much as you think, he knows he has a problem and would be willing to do anything to fix it and keep you.
2006-10-04 07:47:43 · answer #3 · answered by tightlies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you are a good person who was blinded by the light. you could always take a break for a while. let him know how you feel and what you expect. once those are met then get back together. if they are not met within a reasonable amount of time then you should try to start moving on. its gonna hurt. but you will find someone. you just gotta believe that. its not because he is a bad guy, just not up to par with you thats all. dont waste years of you life waiting for someone to turn around. it will not happen. he either wants it or he doesn't. good luck
2006-10-04 07:46:42 · answer #4 · answered by Lew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line in the end all the things that you have described will ruin any love that you have anyways. There clearly is no financial stability with this man. And from the sound of this that is important to you. So without further ado in this case follow your head to a man that will love you and not bankrupt you.
2006-10-04 08:04:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but he sounds like a loser. An immature, lying loser. I don't see how he can be a soulmate or a comfort to you when he's lying about money, in terrible debt and is running up huge bills. A man needs to be financially responsible in life!!
He is what he is- if this is how you want to live your life (with constant financial troubles) then be with him. If you want security and stability for yourself and your future children, dump the loser. It's your choice and your life. Be wise.
2006-10-04 07:47:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your head! If he is lying about small things chances are he will lie about other things in the future. Also, if you ever decided to marry him his credit problems would then become yours also :( If you want to follow your heart I would recommend that you help him clear up his credit and maybe take some finance courses before you get to serious or make any joint purchases.
2006-10-04 07:45:07 · answer #7 · answered by jezkap 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a relationship to last, you need more than love. Love does not pay the bills. If you are always bailing him out, who is going to help you? He has a problem and needs to get help. If he can't, then you do need to move on. I suggest counseling, both for mental health and counseling. Talk to him about it, and if he refuses to consider it, leave him immediately and don't look back. If he loved you, he would do it because it would strengthen your relationship. Good luck.
2006-10-04 07:48:20 · answer #8 · answered by Hpnotiq 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel so sorry for you since you're getting pulled in both directions. I know it's wonderful to love someone and be loved, but under your circumstances I'd have to say get away from him. If you've given him the opportunity to change and he hasn't, he probably won't.
There are other fish in the sea...ones with more common sense, and ones that will love you as much if not more.
2006-10-04 07:49:25 · answer #9 · answered by seeya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just to much to be with. He suppose to taking care of you instead on the top of that you are doing every thing for him. You need to move one seriously. He will only brings to trouble only trouble there is no question. As soon you find someone good the heart matter will resolve automatically.
2006-10-04 07:45:45 · answer #10 · answered by Alisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋