miserable. anyone with advice, or some encouragement, it would be appreciated.?

Question

I am 17 weeks preggo, and am feeling so miserable because of all the things going on right now. I need advice on a lot of things, including how to relax and take my mind off of these things. I have had the worst week this week. I had a calculus test on monday and missed it because my husband got into trouble with his car and the plates on it, and it had to be towed, and i had to pay for that (with this week's grocery money) and watch my son. i am feeling so sick this week. i was on medication for my nausea, but don't have enough money to refill the prescription. i have not gained any weight so far, but i haven't been able to eat very well, partly because of finances, and partly because i am feeling so sick. I cannot visit my ob, because i missed an appointment because i was concentrating so hard on studying for a test, and forgot about it, when i called to find out when it was, it turns out i had missed it by an hour. Now i owe the doc money, and haven't any extra for at least 2 weeks.

My family has offered to give us some money for the car to get it on the road, but i feel so bad to take it because we got ourselves into this situation, and i know we can't afford the insurance, and i dont' want to get another bill that we can't pay. my husband seems to have this attitude that we will "figure something out" when the time comes. but we can't keep doing this, because other bills suffer and we get more and more into debt. with certain companies, and end up having to pay one at a time when they threaten to shut off. i dont' know how to deal with any of this. i am having a hard enough time with my day to day cleaning, because i feel so sick, and sometimes still throw up, and spend the rest of the day on the couch, and i can't keep up with the housework, the bills, my homework or anything. but other people do much more with their life, so this makes me feel like i'm good for nothing. i just feel so sad and useless and out of options for everything. i need help and support.

also, im in canada, so some things are not offered over here, like medicaid, and i don't understand some of the short forms of things people are putting up here.

Answer 1

i think u are in a very touchy situation, and i'm really sorry to hear that. having said that, i really want to encourage you to seek what is Good, Positive, Healthy for you.....and u know what? that means being able to identify what is going to be 'good' for you and your family...and that means u may have to accept your parents' help.

here are the reasons why: they love you. they want to help you. they know u are in a tough spot, which is why they want to help. why is that we tend to be so ashamed of our mistakes, that we deny ourselves help from those who will help, regardless of if u made mistakes or not? stop being stubborn about Negative things, and learn to be stubborn, or Strong, in Positive things. allow ur parents to help you, and use that to Make your life BETTER...That will be the best way to thank them..not being ashamed for ur mistakes and situation and trying to hide from them. i understand u did what u had to do, and feel that u need to do it on your own. however, it sounds to me that it is not what is BEST for ur situation at hand, for incoming baby, etc. and that is too much stress on you as a pregnant mother, student, wife, etc. :(

if i were u, i would buck up, and work on my ability to Seek how to make myself, and my situation, Better each day. maybe that means u need to help ur relationship w/ ur parents become better; or come to terms w/ ur decisions; or communicate w/ ur husband and let him know that u need Help! (it sounds like he doesn't understand how sensitive and emotional and stressful u are right now).... little by little, it is important for u to be able to make things Better and More Positive in ur life.

good luck, and rememer u can always try new things, change things, u don't have to settle. even if ur life was awesome right now, there is still more that u can learn, experience, etc, so don't ever be too Afraid, or too Cocky, to continue to improve urself and ur life :).

Answer 2

I was going to recommend the same thing. Check out your local Department of Human Services and see if you might qualify for medicaid, food stamps, wic, and even cash to help out. There are many programs out there to help families when they fall on hard times, just til they get back on their feet. Thats what our tax dollars are there for. We've all been in a pinch at one time or another, its one thing to take advantage of the situtation and its another to use it when needed temporarily.

There is also nothing wrong with accepting money from your folks. It sounds like you guys are still pretty young. As for bills go, medical bills, pay them $5 a month. If they accept that, just keep sending it every month and don't worry about it anymore. When finances are scraping the bottom, focus on the important things, like your home, things that get turned off, and you might want to consider letting some services go that are a luxury, just until things improve, like cable tv, internet, etc. If you have a cell phone, cancel your home phone or vice versa. You need to sit down and do yourself a budget and stick to it. Then perhaps you can take a breather yourself.

Answer 3

breathe. the end of the world is actually the end of the world. not finances, school, marraige or children. that is life. so dont worry. right now you are weak with fatigue, that comes along with the pregnancy. right now you have to focus on your babies. i would suggest you figure out if you are doing to much. calculus is a hard class, and the fact you're in it means you are pretty bright. you wont loose brain cells by taking a semester off. if that is just not an option then get on assitance of some kind, perhaps your hubby needs a second job. you see there are answers to every problem, only you know those answers. what is making it 'tougher' is that you are not in your right frame of mind. pregnancy takes a toll on your body, your mind and your emotions. relax. yes you have time to relax. your baby will be born in a hospital, we aren't in AFrica. you will get food, because you know you will never ever allow the child you already have starve. write down what you KNOW. you know you will make up a test, or accept the grade you got. because you KNOW you can make it up another semester, or just accept a low gpa. whatever, you KNOW you wont flunk out. you know you will have to throw up. just throw up. research other things that can help you keep food down. btw you are in luck. i have four kids, so i was preggo 4x. and with every pregnancy i threw up. NOT in the morning, i threw up EVERY DAY from week 10/12 - the day my children were born! with every darn pregnancy!! lol I LOST 40-50LBS with each pregnancy!! AND my babies made it alive. they will find the nutrients inside you somewhere okay? they wont die! they wont suffer. and your stomach acids are far worst during the day than at night. try eating after 11pm!! i'm serious. this works! eat ANYTHING with ginger in it. its a seasoning that helps with nausea. also lemon drops. if all you do is suck on lemon drops to keep from throwing up then do it! one of my pregnancies i lived on water and dry honey comb cereal (no milk). and i survived. i hope you are feeling better today. take care and GOD bless,lissette (p.s i found the yahoo pregnancy chat rooms to be cool to hang out in when i needed support!)

Answer 4

i know it's hard but first of all you need to try to relax. take a relaxing shower. being stressed isn't good for you ar the baby. try to think of how blessed you are. things have a way of working out. i have a 21 month and an 8 week old and i feel like i never have time for anything but taking care of them. theres never any extra money but we always get by. our car was broken down for over two weeks because we didnt have money to fix it. don't worry i know its hard not to but it will get better.

Answer 5

Have your husband get a second or third job. That's what I did when my wife needed the help. Going into debt will put back so far. From your credit scores to your quality of life. He needs to grow up fast.

Answer 6

First of all I would go to your local department of Job & Family Services. They will help you with grocerices, medical bills, and prescription refills. Secondly, I think you and your husband need to go find a finacially conculeor to help you budget your monies.
Yes,see where WIC is in your area. (Women, Infants, & Children). You will be on WIC for yourself until the baby is born, and if you breastfeed, you both will get WIC. If you don't breastfeed, they will help with formula, etc. (eggs, peanutbutter, milk, juice) until your child turns 5.

Answer 7

Go to your local DHS office and see what programs they can help you with. Medicaid or food stamps. Maybe even daycare for your son while you're at school or work. Good luck with this!!
Keep your head up!

Answer 8

first of all take a deep breath. Then go lay down. Forget having to do anything right now and just go take an hour to lay down. Then when you get up, start one by one.

Answer 9

And which one of you thought it was a good idea to have another kid?