I have this wild jealousy thing going on. He has no idea, but sometimes it actually makes me have major sick feelings in the pit of my stomach. This usually happens when we are out and there are hot women around and he might make comments about them to me, also, he has even gone as far as saying he wants to bang this one movie actress, but, it is just something in his head and he knows it will never happen. I want to be cool with him, just looking, and his fantasy's, but for some reason, it makes my blood boil. How does one over come these distructive feelings? I'm really working on it, but haven't had much success. HELP! Any advise will be better than nothing. I have to say, that my boyfriend is devoted to me and very committed to our relationship. He does everything for me! Is he just a normal guy? I have been out of the loop for very long, being a wife and mother, then getting a divorce , 4 mth break, then met my bf, its been one yr. now. Our sex life is hot, STILL!
2006-10-04 06:48:23 · 12 answers · asked by darkangel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Pull him aside, and say, "Honey, I know you love me, but I'm coming out of a divorce, and I'm really sensitive to this stuff. I know you're devoted to me and there's no reason for me to be jealous, but it still makes me sick inside when you talk about how desirable other women are. I'm okay with you looking, I really am, but please don't comment about it to me, okay?"
Chances are he'll be totally fine with that, and never mention other women to you in that way again. Some women are okay with that kind of talk while others aren't, and he probably just doesn't know that you aren't.
A normal guy will always look. Hey, we're wired to enjoy looking at women, and that will never change. Just remember that no matter how "hot" these women are, you're the one he's chosen, and you're the one he sleeps with at night. That makes you hotter than any of them. :-)
2006-10-04 07:01:38 · answer #1 · answered by Bramblyspam 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi, Seems as though everything is going (Smoothly) & that your BoyFriend sounds like someone who knows what He wants out of life, afterall, He's got (You)... It seems as though, you & your BoyFriend have alot in common...The two of you have great sex together, & He does alot for you as well... You did (Mention) something about what your BoyFriend does whenever the two of you Go-Out that He will say things about different Women & things like sexuall fantasies & all of that...You also Mentioned that it makes you "Sick To The Pit Of Your Stomach" I really do (Doubt) that you are a (Jealous Type) You sound too (Mature) for that...I honestly & Purely believe that your BoyFriend is & probably has been useing """The Power Of Suggestion""" to make you think that your (Jealous) when in (Reality) your not the (Jealous Type) that is what has been makeing you feel """Undecisive & Powerless""" about what to do w/this little situation... This angers you because you did'nt (Realize) that your BoyFriend could be soo (Cunning & Calculative) I am not saying that your BoyFriend did something wrong or anything like that...Some Couples that do have a (Great Sex Drive) for each other is a (Blessed Couple) indeedly so... I believe that even though Sex is Great for two People that have it that way, also get to a point that needs a little (Imagination Involvement) I think that your BoyFriend is saying all of those things about other Women & the (Actress Thing) because,He is trying to tell you without saying it, that He wants to get more Creative with you in Bed...& the Actress thing is just a (Bone) that He's throwing-out to see what you'll do & say. I'm not saying that He's (Bored) w/you,I'm saying that He wants to get more Creative in this (Relationship) because I believe that this (Man) that you got sounds like a (Good Man) & that he still (Loves You) You can stop getting (Sick Now) because now you know not to get mad anymore because your (Ten Fold) on Him now... I wsh the Best fir the two of you!!! rumeoui ! (Take Good Care)
2006-10-04 07:26:05 · answer #2 · answered by rumeoui 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How devoted can he be, if he talks about wanting to be with other women? I don't think it's jealousy, more like gut instincts telling you it's not right, and you deserve better. Have you considered that this might be a rebound relationship, it's just lasted longer then you expected? At the very least, take a break from this relationship. Let him know before hand, that you need some space. If he cares for you he will respect it. Take a week "off", with NO contact. NO phone calls, emails, text messages, asking friends about each other, driving by each others work or family's house, etc. Focus on YOU for at least one week. You may come back to this relationship with a new perceptive. This may not save the relationship, but YOU will be better for it. That I can guarantee.
2006-10-04 07:03:17 · answer #3 · answered by HH6 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Something in your self esteem is causing this...work on why you feel insecure..and most guys do this..althought not many tell oyu that they do or they pretend that they don't. I think it's disrespectful and rude toward yoou ..but at least he's honest. A 4 month break is not long after a divorce. Is it possible you are afraid of being abandoned or left ? What was the reason for your divorce? cheating, did he end it? If so..these may be the reason for your insecurities.. see a counselor to help you with this. Good luck!!
2006-10-04 06:52:43 · answer #4 · answered by beautifully broken 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God - so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. You need to hang tight with your friends/family right now. You need to know that this is not your fault. This was his choice. I've known too many people in your situation who torture themselves thinking there was something they could have done and the fact is, suicide is a tragic and violent act that can seldom if ever be prevented when a person makes up their mind. This may sound simplistic, but consider seeing a therapist or a grief counselor and maybe his mom needs this too. You are each going to be grieving and while you can try to support one another, your grief will be different in some ways. I am so sorry about this and I do hope you will get through this very painful time in your life. Hang in even when it feels empty inside man!
2016-03-27 04:48:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I DO understand exactly where you're coming from & what I can tell you is that you are going to have to work these feelings out in your head & on your own. Try writing them down - then read back over it again & again, until you see that it's just negative feelings - not something that has or will happen to the two of you.
Look in the self-help book section for books on building your own self-esteem. Sounds like it could use a boost. If the whole banging the actress thang really gets to you, you could find an actor who melts your butter & tell him Hey, while you're doing so-&-so I'd love to be right beside you working on HIM! lol Bet that will give him a whole new perspective on how it feels to hear his beloved wistfully dream about doing someone else!! But you do need to work on your negative emotions before they hurt your relationship. I wouldn't say anything overt to him, but I would let him know that you have some issues to work on over his reactions to other women. Or you could start "man watching".
Sounds like fun to me! Good luck & take care of that - jealousy can kill ya, you know . . .
2006-10-04 06:55:44 · answer #6 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He shouldn't make comments about women around you...that's kind of rude and very hurtful to even the most easy-going and confident woman. I would ask him to keep those comments to himself...as far as the star thing goes...thats every guy...the bf and I both think Angelina Jolie is hot...along with every other male and bisexual female in the world. the bf may look, but I never catch him...your guy is making it obvious, and there is something wrong there....why, if he is devoted and committed, is he looking around for something better? ....how about trying a little role-playing..this actress you speak of....dress up like her, learn her movements and how she speaks...then surprise your man at the end of a long hard day with your alter-ego...after that, whenever he thinks of her his thoughts should go straight to you and your little gift....that shows an eagerness to please and that you pay attention......
If all else fails...he doesn't see your point or respect your wishes..start making comments about other men when you are out..see how he likes that
2006-10-04 06:55:29 · answer #7 · answered by violet1656 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you know, devoted and committed?? come one first if he was devoted he wouldnt be saying those things to do..and committed..even if they are just thougts and comments towards an actress can you imaging what he says when he sees a hot girl on the streets?? it sounds like there is some insecurites on your part but being with someone says those things doesnt make it better..
2006-10-04 06:52:50 · answer #8 · answered by torrescy21 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to make you jealous! Have you ever tried talking about some hot guy to him. Maybe tell him about a dream you had about this really hot guy you saw. He sounds a little immature and insecure. You don't need that, no woman deserves to be treated like that. Until you realize that you will continue to put up with it.
2006-10-04 07:02:36 · answer #9 · answered by Dawn B 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't think the problem is you. He is being disrespectful to you by making these comments in front of you. Tell him that it is okay to look but to keep his comments to himself. Good Luck!
2006-10-04 06:52:57 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋