My boyfriend has almost no libido. He's an ex addict and a diabetic so it is chemical but it drives me mad. He enjoys having sex but never really pursues it, or really cares if we do or don't. I know that he enjoys having sex with me, and that he finds me attractive because he tells me this, and goes into details about what he does like about us.
It's too rare for me, and not having a man pursue makes me sometimes feel undesirable.
He's only 21 and yet would be just fine if he never had sex again - he probably actually only thinks about having sex seriously.. once every 2 weeks maybe.
What can I do? I am aggressive with him, we occasionally try new things, and as i said i know that he enjoys it. I've never been turned down but i honestly want to be pursued a little.
Please don't just tell me to leave him, i get sex and it is good, or that he's gay or lying to me he's had this problem with his ex too.
2006-10-04 06:22:55 · 13 answers · asked by attila 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I won't leave him because he has a past, that's stupid and shallow. Plus it would be very hypocrital of me since i am also an ex addict, just not the same drugs so i have no libido problems.
As for him being sick - that's a horrible thing to say. Leaving someone because they're diabetic.
2006-10-04 06:29:08 · update #1
haha, He doesnt have erectile dysfunction. He can get up, he just doesnt have any desire to do anything with it. ;)
viagra wouldn't quite have the effect i want. there are a few meds out there for libido he's not comfortable with them because of side effects
2006-10-04 06:30:35 · update #2
well being an ex-addict can have some effect. Being diabetic will have a greater effect especially if it is not controlled. Diabetics have circulation problems due to the disease. Also, get him to a doctor for a complete physical. Have the doctor test his blood for testosterone levels. I am diabetic and have to take testosterone because mine is low. I feel a lot better all around since being on the injections. Diabetics, when their blood sugar is high experience fatigue.
2006-10-04 06:30:38 · answer #1 · answered by swomedicineman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Addicts have a hard time dealing with life on life's terms and often subsitute the drugs for another obsession. Overcoming an addiction can be a slow a painful process, but with the help of a Higher Power and a 12 step program, things get better. I would suggest that you try an herbal supplement such as Ginseng or even a one a day vitamin. Addicts have abused their bodies so much that it may take a while before he is fully conscience of it. Be patient and wait for the miracle to happen. When it does, you'll thank your Higher Power.
2006-10-04 06:54:37 · answer #2 · answered by Lou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is talk to him and tell how you feel and what you desire. He may be willing to try pursuing you if he knows how much it would mean to you.
I married a man with a very low libido and sometimes it can be very depressing to not be pursued. It is easy to feel undesired and unloved. Being able to communicate with my husband about these things is what helps me get through the rough times.
2006-10-04 06:28:33 · answer #3 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he tried Viagra..or one of those...If he cannot get his libido up try seeing a doctor just to talk about that...If all fails then you have a choice you can accept the situation as it is and love him any way or you can leave him and start afresh with someone else or you can ask him is he objects to you haveing sex with someone else a few times a month to get youre sexual needs met.
2006-10-04 06:28:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gently bring this up when he is in a good mood.
If he is touching himself (sometimes ex-addicts addicted to stimulation like gambling & pornography, etc) then he won't pursue you.
If however, he refrains for days & still isn't ready to jump your bones...then perhaps you can google this or check out Yahoo Groups. There's a group for everything.
Good luck, you sound like a wonderfully supportive girlfriend.
2006-10-04 06:29:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you can ask him to push for sex twice per week. Giving goals that you conveniently forget may be the ticket to getting the feeling you're looking for. He can put it in his planner, or do whatever he does to remember things and make a point to try.
2006-10-04 06:28:36 · answer #6 · answered by Brianna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are some guy that don't think sex is a big thing they prefer work or playing golf or something like that . my friend jet is that way he wife as me all the time is there something wrong is he cheating on me and or is he on drugs no he is not. he love his job and that all he like to do. the only thing that she does is she roll plays with him in bed and daring the day so that he no that she wont's him.. good luck .
2006-10-04 07:52:21 · answer #7 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you 2 need some adventure spice it up a little bit like go to a motel room & get on the dresser & go until the other guests complain or to a semi public place & do it get freaky get some whip cream,jello,or some sex toys.
2006-10-04 06:31:04 · answer #8 · answered by woody 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
La disfunción eréctil es la incapacidad del hombre para lograr y mantener una erección suficiente tanto para su propia y por las necesidades de los socios en la gestión de las relaciones sexuales.
Si usted sufre de disfunción eréctil debe intentar esta solución natural que ya ha resuelto este problema para muchos hombres de todo el mundo! [Link]
2014-11-21 19:08:49 · answer #9 · answered by Charissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing to look at is stress, especially at such a young age. Is there a lot of stress at work? at home? with family? That's where I would start if I were you.
2006-10-04 06:25:09 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋