I dated this guy for 5 years, i recentlly broke up with him because i found someone else and now im madly in love. my ex keeps calling me and leaving evil messages on my phone like he wishes i would die and im a evil person. i want to hate him but i cant i still love him. for some reason i cant get him off of my mind, i cant help but wonder if what i did was the right thing. Even when we were dating i supported him, and he took atvantage of me, and made me feel like ****. How can he hate me so much, and why cant i hate him? I just want to get on with my life.
2006-10-04 05:57:52 · 20 answers · asked by Colleen A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's an a$$hole. If he calls you and tells you he wants you to die then you're better off without him. He obviously has done something to your self-estem if you can't get over him after that.
You did the right thing, I would never worry anymore about that.
2006-10-04 06:01:18 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow well five years is a long time. You see a lot about a person in five years. So I imaging despite all his bad characteristics you must have seen something else. Some sweetness, some kindness, some love, a gentle side, maybe a funny side. You must have stayed so long hoping that one day those parts of his personality would outweigh all the negatives. But they never did did they? So you did the right thing and you got out. These messages he's leaving are only proof to the point that he's bad news overall. (Not to mention very scary, and something you should document. With comments like that you could go to the police)
You can't get him off your mind maybe because you still love all the lil things that never won out. But realize they never will. Remember the reasons why you left and how you didn't deserve to be treated so badly or taken advantage of like that. He hates you because he hates himself. Forget him and move on. Take some time for yourself to really get your head out of the situation. I would suggest a trip if you're capable of one right now. Otherwise some time with family might do you well. Just remember you did the right thing. You need to come first. Please be safe, and be happy. You aren't the only one who's ever left their rose colored glasses on too long. You will feel better someday so much better you won't even believe he got to you so bad. Take care.
2006-10-04 06:13:09 · answer #2 · answered by leviathia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first---look at your paragraph. This person wishes you to die--leaves you evil messages on your phone--took advantage of you and made you feel like ****. And you you still lust for this man? And, it wasn't like you broke up with him because of these things...you broke up with him because you found someone else that you had fallen "madly in love" with. You left him for someone else. Honestly, if you told him that---I don't blame him for being upset with you--the reason that you can't "hate him" is because you are feeling guilt...whether that guilt is warranted or not--only you really know. For you are the one that has had first hand experience with this person. It isn't "love." Love shouldn't be mistaken for self-inflicted abuse...or for the abuse of one on another.
To end this completely, you can do a couple of things. One thing, the next time he calls--you answer the phone and you tell him that you are keeping record and recording of every message that he is leaving, and that if he doesn't stop calling you, harrassing you and leaving nasty messages, you will have no other recourse but to complain to authorities--then end the phone call. Nothing more. Don't go back to him...don't call him...this will only tease him and hurt the other that you are with and make you look stupid in the long run.
2006-10-04 06:10:10 · answer #3 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, he doesnt hate you, he resents the fact that you left him for someone else. Second, dont hate yourself because you cant hate someone that you are inlove with. Its rough and it was just a "mistake" that everyone tends to make in there lives. Maybe you didnt know that you were truly inlove with him until after you met someone else? Having the feeling of being used is no fun and maybe you were just trying to let him know how serious you were when you told him that you feel like someone he just runs to when he is out of money or needs a place to stay or a car to drive.
Dont kick yourself because of something that would help you in the long run. You are what matters in life and of course it is AWESOME to have someone there with you going through it, its not your fault that he was abusing his right as a "boyfriend" If he cared anything about you he will change his ways and be more supportive of your needs.
You wont be able to force yourself to resent him, and I wouldnt try. If you genuinely love him then do so. If he loves you he will prove it to you. If you are meant to be together, then you will be. But dont try to hate him because he calls you names. You may regret it later on and you wont be able to change your mind. Goodluck and I hope you get the answers that you need. Take care! :)
2006-10-04 06:05:22 · answer #4 · answered by jzbebegyrl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Focus your time and energy on the new guy that you fell madly in love with. Change your number if you have to, so that it can help you forget about him. Sweetie no one ever said love was easy. Seriously love is blind, he obviously treated you badly and you seem like a great person because through it all you still have feelings for him. It may be hard but just try to put in your mind that all he is trying to do to you is put the guilt trip on you so that you feel pity for him and go back to him. It's really not worth your time to go back to something that wasn't putting all his effort into you. He's just trying to hurt your feelings and honestly he's a jerk. Tell him to just please leave you alone that you've moved on with your life and that it's time for him to do so with his own.
2006-10-04 06:16:56 · answer #5 · answered by bebechinadoll_01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Almost sounds like you have battered women's syndrome. Even if he didn't physically beat you, he verbally/emotionally beat you down to make you feel like you couldn't get on without him. I'm sure you did the right thing. No man should you leave you those kinds of messages after a breakup. I would change my number and sever all contact with him. He is very unhealthy emotionally. Eventually, you'll see you're much better off and your feelings for him will dissipate.
2006-10-04 06:06:02 · answer #6 · answered by Angel Baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is doing it because he knows it will bother you. I mean if you really hate someone let them go their way and you go your way. He doesn't hate you he is just hurt. As for you it is normal to still have feelings for someone you spent five years of your life with even if it wasn't a great relationship. Just because you decide logically this isn't a healthy relationship doesn't automatically shut your emotions off. You made a decision that seems to be in your best interests. I would stick with it. Maybe in time you can be friends with your ex. You are going to have to let him go through his manipulation ploys.
2006-10-04 06:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by Suesan W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a good thing you don't hate him. . . you shouldn't hate anyone. god doesn't want that. -hate is a STRONG word.
he shouldn't be being such an a** to you, but he is. one thing is you shouldn't have dumped him right off the bat but you said he mad you feel like **** - so it IS GOOD that you dumped him b./c nobody should be made to feel like that. just give him some time and ignore him ((well try)) -just think about your new lover =]
hope things get better.
2006-10-04 06:01:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even when someone treats us badly we sometimes still love them in some strange sick way. Try changing your phone number, at least that's a start. This way you won't be getting his phone calls. If you can't change your number, at least block his number. He'll eventually tire of calling you.
2006-10-04 06:00:53 · answer #9 · answered by Littles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is the bad person here. he is just jealous that you have a new bf. he treated u like **** and u didnt deserve that. just ignore him. u r happy with someone else and madly in love witht hat someone. good 4 u! :) hes the bad one. beleive it. :)
2006-10-04 06:05:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋