Okay, just found out my bf is cheating and has been for over a year with multiple people. Going to a psychiatrist and psych says I need to talk to him about this (the bf). Before seeing psych I tried to talk to bf but got really drunk first therefore talking was pointless. I yelled and cried and he shut himself off. He says now that he's said all he's got to say and won't talk about it anymore. How do I get this man to talk to me about our issues in a calm rational manner if he's avoiding it? He got his part out yes, but I was EXTREMELLY drunk (which was wrong I know) and don't remember anything but my ranting...
Psych asked that I do what I can to talk this out with him before my next apt which is next week so we can review the conversation and my feelings on the matter once we've talked.
thanks
2006-10-04 05:52:01 · 8 answers · asked by Mrs.Me 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Okay so we've been together for 11 years and have a son and live together. So yes, as much as the 12 year olds out there want to do the head twisting "no you di'int you need to leave him giiirl" crap it's not going to work that way. I want to work on this and even if we give it our all it's not going to work out then yes I will leave. Leaving is an option but not the ONLY option.
Now, can a few people over the age of 18 please help me find a solution? thanks
2006-10-04 07:12:18 · update #1
You don't need a shrink, you need to leave the boyfriend. End of the problem.
You should NOT be talking to the boyfriend. Pointless. I mean you aren't trying to STAY with him are you? That would be you telling the world that you are worthless if you stayed with him.
Drop the shrink and the guy and move on.
2006-10-04 05:56:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you really want to keep this boyfriend and try to work things out regardless of what he has done. If he wants it to work out, he will talk to you. Men don't like to talk or share what they are feeling especially when they have done something wrong. Does he know that you are going to see a shrink? That might be a way to start the conversation. Let him know that you have been hurt and that you have been talking to someone and that you need to get the issues resolved or you can not move forward. If does not want to talk, he is not worth keeping. There is a reason he cheated and that reason needs to be resolved or you have no relationship. Best of luck to you.
2006-10-04 12:57:12 · answer #2 · answered by josievan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave it lay for now. Just give your bf some time to think and calm down. There will be another chance, trust me. And when that time comes, try to stay sobber. Don't tell your pysch everything, believe me, they don't really care. How many other people does this pysch see? I don't think they go home saying, "Oh, how can I help so and so? I should tell them this" Out of all the ppl they see, you are just another account number and penny bank, sorry.
2006-10-04 13:01:05 · answer #3 · answered by cdb774 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not trying to be mean but geesh women. there are alot of honest genuine guys out there why keep a cheater around. You will never be able to trust him, when ever he will go somewhere you will wonder what he is doing. NO TRUST means NO HAPPINESS as you will always wonder. It would be 1 thing if it was once but over a year with multiple people. For your sanity you may need to get away from him or it may drive you crazy.
2006-10-04 13:50:23 · answer #4 · answered by davinhowell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to talk to him? If he has been cheating with multiple people, he clearly has NO consideration for you, and you should not continue wasting time with someone who clearly cares so little.
I would also recommend looking for a new psychiatrist. It sounds as if they are encouraging you to spend more time with this jerk, when they should, in fact, be encouraging you to move on.
2006-10-04 13:03:47 · answer #5 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting drunk, I suspect, pretty much ruined any chance you may have had for discussing anything rationally with the guy.
He admitted to cheating and that is all he is likely to say. I would try to be non-threatening, write to him and ask him to discuss it with you. If he won't then he won't.
2006-10-04 12:58:22 · answer #6 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now I know why Dr. Phil is BALD!!!
2006-10-04 13:15:32 · answer #7 · answered by NANCY K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should leave your bf and find an rebound
2006-10-04 12:57:05 · answer #8 · answered by damien h 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋