I have been getting to know this guy for a while and would need to sell my house to move near his kids to move in together. I recently had to borrow money for a new furnace since the old one did not work and will be living the house until it sells. He knows I had money left over from the loan. We were recently talking and he mentioned he came to the conclusion his bad sinuses were linked to dental problems but he had no dental insurance and he mentioned this twice. I suggested over the counter remedies which I tried myself and which healed a gum infection since I also don't have any insurance. I was in the midst of making these suggestions to him when he suddenly said: I gotta go with no explanation. He has not called me or returned my calls in 4 days. Relocation is expensive & I may want to stay here rather than end up footing bills so he can pay for toys (he bought himself a tatoo and a gold chain recently) if those are his intentions Was he asking me for money to fix his teeth?
2006-10-04 05:20:54 · 11 answers · asked by Wildfire 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OMG - I hope you have enough sense of your own (please don't take offence to that - I'm being sincere) to see that this guy is no good for you.
I bet he was SO trying to get money from you. He might have also felt jealous of the fact that you have this extra money and if you allow him to manipulate you like this there will only be more trouble down the road – as in, “OMG! It has been three years and now because of him I’m $15,000 in debt,” or something equally as heinous.
What he needs to understand are two things:
1. The money is *not* your money - it is a loan and therefore technically the bank's.
2. To love someone or be in a relationship means not using or abusing the significant other in any way. Love should be defined by trust and kindness, not whether someone "cares" for you enough to loan some money.
He was being passive aggressive - trying to make you feel guilty so handing over the money would seem like your idea and not his, especially to make it look like a gift. He will use this as an excuse to never pay you back.
I also bet he wouldn’t actually use the money for dental work. I believe when he said he needs it done, but someone like him would feel the money burning a hole in his pocket and go crazy with it.
Maybe the right thing to do would be to take that extra money and put most if not all of it back in the bank to pay down your loan quicker. Not only will this keep his greedy paws off of your money, it will help you get a loan easier in the future.
I hope you can make a good choice here. You deserve someone who won’t use you and someone you can trust.
2006-10-04 05:36:52 · answer #1 · answered by gowanstl24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth: you don't have the money. There is absolutely no shame in that. (if she presses you, you could tell her you're expanding your family -- congratulations! -- and your budget is already stretched to its limit, if not a bit beyond.) Really, you are in no way obligated to give her any kind of lengthy explanation! Possibly she will react angrily (anger is a great way to induce guilt and manipulate the situation!). Tell her you're sorry she is upset (not that you're sorry YOU made her angry; there's a fundamental difference), and leave it at that. Turning her down doesn't mean slamming the door in her face. You are still cousins and if she wants to maintain that contact, that's up to her. This is absolutely NOT being mean. Don't ever let anyone play that guilt card on you!
2016-03-27 04:39:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact is...he hasn't called you in 4 days. The whole "moving in together" thing should be put off until you figure out why he thinks he can just disappear. If he was asking you for money...it sounds like you have a problem with that too (which should be dealt with BEFORE moving in together).
2006-10-04 05:24:53 · answer #3 · answered by green is clean 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he hung up suddenly and has not returned your calls for 4 days.. I wouldn't move in with him. I'd stay where you are and find a new boyfriend. Good Luck! :)
2006-10-04 05:26:19 · answer #4 · answered by tysavage2001 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't move. You'll end up paying relocation expenses twice.
2006-10-04 05:29:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
HONEY.... hold your horses and don't move with him...love him from distance and stick to your ground ..it seems that this guy wants to suck all your money and leave ya at the end...
am not here to judge ..but i feel its nt healthy
2006-10-04 05:28:39 · answer #6 · answered by sweet cherry78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looks like this guy is a male gold digger.
2006-10-04 05:23:37 · answer #7 · answered by WC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont move for him. Doesn't sound worth it, yes he was wanting money
2006-10-04 05:23:24 · answer #8 · answered by vickicraig86@btinternet.com 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he was. He thinks he can get it easily from you.
2006-10-04 05:25:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't move and lock up your valuables
2006-10-04 05:25:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋