I live with my boyfriend of almost 4 years. I think he is hiding online relationships from me. I have asked him about them and he keeps telling me he isn't. I know he is talking to many women and he has presented himself as single. Now I have just found out he had cheated on me a while back (although for me it wasn't that long ago since I just found out). We have been working through that situation and I had got into his messenger and went through the archives and seen that he is talking with many other women not to far from home. He tells me they all know about me and that they just chat, but he won't chat with them with me around and I feel he is just not being honest with me. He tells me he hasn't been talking to them much anymore, but I know he has. If he's not doing anything wrong why won't he include me. I am not sure if it is just me being paranoid. I don't believe he is currently still cheating on me, but am worried about the future. I want to share everything with him.
2006-10-04 04:57:24 · 14 answers · asked by Me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am married, going on three years now. I have been with my wife for over eight years total. I have done similar stupid acts as your boyfriend. The things that you need to work on are boundries and comunication. If being excluded is a problem for you and he won't change (or goes behind your back) then you need to decide if this is somethng you want to deal with. Also, if he knows that you feel this strongly about it, but continues to do it then you should go seperate ways and find someone who is more interested in your wants and needs.
2006-10-04 05:04:11 · answer #1 · answered by greasedragon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man.......there are warning signs and red flags ALL over this!
He's a dirty birdie sweety. I'm sorry to say this to you, you seem like such a sweet, sweet person, but he is probably not being honest with you. His self esteem is probably low, or his ego is in need of a boost....
....you see....we men all have egos of various levels. And to almost ALL of us the attention from a female, especially when it's 'romantic' in nature is a big boost to us. It's what we DO with that attention that separates the men from the pigs. I was just talking to an old friend about this very thing yesterday afternoon. He's unhappy in his marriage and he was telling me about this encounter he had, and he didn't 'do' anything, but enough to mess up his head.
Anyway, it sounds like your guy is enjoying the attention he is getting....doesn't want to give it up, but doesn't feel it's endangering your relationship in his eyes. And maybe it's not, but.......obviously in this case it is. Since he's already broken the cheating-ice, and he's capable, I'm afraid that he's one of those guys that doesn't have this under control. Some men feed off female attention, the way some women feed off men's attention.
You are giving him way too much leeway. It's time to cut to the chase and take some hard core action. You may be at the end of your relationship. :( get your thoughts and feelings in order, and then put it to him, and see what he says. He will deny, deflect, and defend......I'm sure of it. Have a starkly honest talk.....maybe you have some hand in this in his eyes. I don't know, but perhaps he's trying to get something from the other girls that he feels he is not, or cannot get from you. It may not be all him.....ok? Don't assume it is. It easy to do so, but it's quite likely. That's why I said that you need to have a very stark, honest talk, and listen to what he says. If it's BS, then it's BS, but if he tells you that you are falling short somewhere, you do need to hear that and decide how to proceed.
Whether it's emotional or sexual attention.....we need attention from that person we love. If they starve us to death then we react in unwanted ways to get that which we need, but keep that which we love. It's not right and it causes problems and trouble, but that is a fact of life. And on the other hand, this man, may just simply not be that complex and he may just seek the thrill of collecting women.
I wish you nothing but the best tho.....hug.
2006-10-04 05:50:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him now. He is making you not trust him by him hiding it from you.....Once a cheater always a cheater. I have a guy friend that is living with his gf and he does her the same way. He even takes women out to lunch for a date in the middle of the day. Takes them on camping trips & tells her he is going camping with the guys....
So - the online chatting thing is more than what he is telling you... and I bet if you look for it you can find his personal ad on a dating site and even a myspace account too.
I hope that you take heed to what responses you get to see that he is a looser for lying to you about his online crap & cheating on you.
2006-10-04 05:08:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you do not believe him, then you do not trust him. Sounds like he has lied several times and is still lying, how could you want to share everything with him when it is all built on lies and cheating. You are headed for a big heart ache dear, cut ties and find a man that will be true to you.
2006-10-04 05:01:37 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seem ! i think of the situation's with u ! Why do U sense seeing porn is against the regulation like concern ? it truly is uncomplicated in ninety 9 % men, in spite of the shown fact that ninety % would possibly no longer admit. Biologically, the sexual physique is often up for brand spanking new annoying circumstances , whether bodily or mentally. it truly is a certainty of existence u can no longer omit ! U would desire to be grateful that ur Boyfriend is going for porn to triumph over this sexual clock & no longer for yet another female as is uncomplicated for many !
2016-10-01 22:26:00 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is really just having friendly, innocent conversation, then there's no reason for him to hide it from you. If he's being this secretive with chatting, he will hide bigger stuff even better.
My advice, find someone that you can trust, and will trust you. He should want to share all aspects of his life with you.
2006-10-04 05:05:21 · answer #6 · answered by agentm006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chatting and cheating are to different things. Try asking him to delete them as you are not happy about it and see what he says. If he does then you know that he is telling the truth and if he doesnt then you know he is going to cheat if they will let him.
2006-10-04 05:09:51 · answer #7 · answered by Fox Hunter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up, once a dog always a dog! He's not telling you because he doesn't want you to know that he is complaining about you and your relationship to them. Find someone new before he dumps you for one of them.
2006-10-04 06:11:09 · answer #8 · answered by American Pride 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple.
If you're strong enough - dump his azz.
If you're weak - still dump his azz.
He obviously has a part of life he doesn't want you included in, and that part of life includes multiple other women. Dump his azz.
If you don't, you will keep on suffering.
2006-10-04 05:20:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has gone too far and you let him. You need to rein the situation in and tell him no more chatting. Period. If he can't, one of you needs to move out.
2006-10-04 05:06:38 · answer #10 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋