Do you know much about German people??

Question

Im a Japanese. I had German teachers at college and I met a lot of German people in NY. To say frankly, many of japnese are having a hard time with German people. Beause you say something too straight. We dont like to say straight to someone not well familiar with. For example, My teacher said to a girl that your hair was strange. This is just an exmanple. I cant explain well.
Of course not all German.
Anyway they speak too much straight. Many Japanese feel bad to that. but at first I didnt feel bad. Because I am a give and take person. I guessted that German dont feel bad when some one speak too much straight to them.
So I gave a German straight opinion which just as she did. But she did feel bad to my straight opinion. At the time I rally felt bad at what she felt bad at my opinion. Beause, If they speak too much straigh, They should not feel bad to that. Thaz a give and take spirit.

What kind of people is German???? I dont understand them at all.

Answer 1

This is a native German writing. Yes, we are very straight forward, and we are having a problem with other cultures not-being straight forward. While you always know what the German thinks (because he told you), you have to guess and riddle about Americans or Asians. THAT is annoying!

An example: when an American invites you to their house (and you don't really know them), they expect you to NOT appear. They think they are obliged to be polite to you and invite you, but they are hoping you are gracefull enough not to come. Germans would NOT invite anyone who they don't like. Period, end of story!

And of course that woman was behaving badly, she should have taken what she dished out first.

I have read a lot about european companies being fooled by chinese and other asian companies in joint ventures, because their contract attitudes are so different. An Asian would not say "no", as that would be rude in their mind, so they say "maybe". But the Europeans define "maybe" completely different.

Since we are used to talk straight, we have problems to GUESS and RIDDLE what these polite cultures really mean. Can you understand how bad that is for us?

Answer 2

I agree totally with "budda m". You tried to change your way of doing things to the German way, but your German teacher didn't know that and read your action as coming from a Japanese person, with Japanese style. And a Japanese saying something straight is actually much more serious a thing than a German saying something straight. Have I managed to make any sense?? Basically if a German and a Japanese say the same straight thing, coming from the German it is seen as normal and therefore not offensive, BUT, coming from the Japanese, it's not so normal and therefore could be seen as offensive.

Either way, anyway, don't worry about it. Just be true to yourself, don't try to become something different, but just try to accept that other cultures have different ways of doing things which you may not always understand. And if something offends you, tell the person and I'm sure 99.9% of the time you'll find they didn't mean to be rude at all.

Answer 3

I've heard this before - not that German people talk more straight that everyone else, but that Japanese people talk more indirectly than the rest of the world! Having lived in England all my life, I can't say that anyone I know would be very offended if a teacher said their hair was strange.

Answer 4

This just shows how much more there is to international diplomacy than people think!

The german lady was expecting you to answer as a Japanese person not a German so she got confused! Unfortunatly you have to play to stereotypes, maybe try to be a little straight, but not too much when you are speaking to them.

Answer 5

Hi,
I work with a lot of German & Austrian people, they expect things to be as they should be.
This is what makes them sound abrasive. DO NOT confuse Germans with Austrians they ARE different.
I have been to Germany twice once with work and later on holiday I never had a problem.

I think your problem is that the way they translate it becomes too "straight" which is what offends you and mistakenly you become too "straight" which upsets them. I think you should ask them to explain themselves, it may help to pretend not to fully understand and they will have to re-phrase their statement or query then you will find out if it is grammatical or arrogance.

They could be suffering from our (English) problem in that some of us tend to raise our voice when trying to make ourselves understood by a foreigner.

Answer 6

Nobody understands other country's cultures. Your culture may be strange to others. The world is like a big town with lots of different families living in it. Each family has its own views and ideas and prejudices and beliefs and traditions.
Don't feel bad about your German teacher - just be yourself

Answer 7

It's just a cultural difference.From how it was explained to me, the Japanese culture is very honor and respect oriented and most make a sincere effort to not offend people.I have relatives who are German, and the culture there is very direct, and focuses more on telling a person what they think, versus having regard for that person's feelings.I agree with you, the person should not have been offended by your plain speaking if she herself does it.It's hypocritical.

Answer 8

My grandmother was German and always spoke her mind. She would tell fat people straight to their face they were fat because they ate too much for instance. Many people were afraid of her, but in her own way she was a very nice person, just not the kind of person to give you a white lie to help your self esteem, but if you wanted the truth, then ask away.

Answer 9

Well I think Europeans, in general, we are quite straight, in fact, I know some European people that live in Japan and they have the inverse problem, because they use to say what they think and to show it with gestures (with the face or hands) and they they find that in Japan people is quite self-confident and always correct, and that's great, but it's difficult to accustom to it...

Anyway, most people is quite straight with others but they don't admit critics, so you should be careful with it...

Answer 10

If you spoke to people from other countries, I think you'd find the same thing with them- that they speak straightforwardly too. People from different cultures speak in different ways. Maybe in Japan, people are brought up to not speak straightforwardly, while other cultures do teach people to do that. Please don't think badly about German people because of this- they were just brought up differently than you were.