my stepson has told us that he wants to come live with us and his mother is telling him that he can't. What should we do about that? Should we take her to court and try to fight her?
2006-10-04 04:16:43 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
You can try to fight her but I think it would be a little traumatic on your son. If you indeed are better fit parents--go for it. Most states lean for mother guardianship (custody) though. Also when a child reaches the age of twelve (in most states) they are able to decide which home they would like to stay in. Best of luck!
2006-10-04 04:18:49 · answer #1 · answered by .vato. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on the state you live in and his age. If he is old enough he can tell the court where he wants to be, in some states the age is 6 years in other states it is 13 years. You first have to find out that infomation. You also have to review ALL of the reasons the boy wants to live with you and not his mother. If it's just because he doesn't like his mother's rules or the fact that he has to live by those rules taking her to court isn't going to do you any good. If she can be proven unfit, then the court will consider giving you custody but you have to be able to PROOVE it beyond a shadow of a doubt, no hearsay. If she is physically unable to care for the child you might be able to get custody. But first all of the vairables have to be accounted for.
2006-10-04 18:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It migth be hard & more because the mother doesn't want.. But how old is the boy???? If he is between 11-13 you can take this to court & the judge will ask him what he wants & if the boy say's he wants to live with dad and the judge approves the kids decition then no matter what the mother says she will need to respect that, if not consult a legal aid is free they will advice you on what to do.... I have a stepson too and the mother refuses for him to live with us, but we are figthing for that and other things too since he is 10 but hopefully we can have the judge aprove...GOOD LUCK & BEST WISHES for you too!!!
2006-10-05 14:07:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are the reasons that he wants to live with you, neglect, bad parenting...etc. How old is he, is he mature enough to make that type of rational decision...I would say, don't have him, if he just thinks the grass is going to be greener on the other side. If it is a true reason / need for him to live with you...I would discuss it with the ex and if that is not going to work, then yes I would take her back to court...but make sure, b/c it is natures way to leave the children with their mothers if their is no risk in the childs well being.
2006-10-04 11:39:46 · answer #4 · answered by Mom to Foster Children 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how old the child is if hes older then 13 you can take her to court, the judge will consider the childs opinion then. If hes younger then inless you can proof shes unfit you dont have a chance. Also when a child lives with 1 parent and has to be both mom and dad and do most of the correcting that parent appears to be mean. So if and when the child lives with you expect him to want to go back home to mom. Ask why he doesnt want to live with mom if its because shes the one having to do all the correcting and punishing you should talk to the child about this and inform him you have rules also. You dont want the kid to think coming to live with you is going to allow him to act and do whatever he wants. Also by not telling him his mom is doing what she thinks is best your creating drama and bad feelings between dad, mom, and yourself.
2006-10-04 12:30:36 · answer #5 · answered by letthepartybeginnow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would find out her reasons for her not wanting your stepson to come live with you and your husband. I would also find out your stepson's reasons for wanting to. If he is safe and being cared for I would not try to move him. He could be trying to get out of taking responsibility when he is confronted with it. If there are other problems in the home... drugs, alcohol, violence, constant confrontation with his mother then I would consider filling for custody through a court. They might order a guardian (GAL its a lawyer for the kid) to help sort out where he would be best living.
2006-10-04 11:57:19 · answer #6 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I would suggest, you have to figure out if it would be worth it. Often children do this and find the change just too much and end up moving back in with their original home. Even before all the court costs are paid off.
I would think twice about removing any child from it's birth-mother.
2006-10-04 16:59:02 · answer #7 · answered by lesbianmommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all; who has custody of the son? If it is joint custody and you have a right to have the child for at least part of the time, then it may be a matter for the courts if you are not able to have a civil conversation with the mother for the purpose of negotiating time with the child.
2006-10-04 15:15:24 · answer #8 · answered by Jo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At a certain age a child can tell a judge which parent they would want to live with. Speak to a attorney and also think about if this child is trying to play the two against each other. I've had that happen.
2006-10-04 11:39:30 · answer #9 · answered by Angela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends is he being mistreated or is he just missing his dad, how old is he. going to court you would have to prove for his mother to be an unfit parent. A judge would need all the evidence for your stepson to move in with you. maybe by talking to her she will alow the summer time. hope this helps.
2006-10-04 11:25:26 · answer #10 · answered by bellarinia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋