My father is dating a new woman, I am afraid it is serious?

Question

My Mother died July 05- my father started dating someone very reg. in March- he is informing me on a weekly basis how SERIOUS their relationship is. I like this woman, and I have known her most of my life- however the idea of my Dad remarrying , really upsets me. My Mom died of cancer at home and my Dad did a great job of taking care of her- I'm sure he deserves his happiness-but I feel this new relationship cheapens the relationship he had with my mother. I have a family of my own- I guess I should be happy that my Dad has found someone he can share his life with too. Do I need to just keep my mouth shut about my feelings and be happy for my Dad?

I have managed to keep my mouth shut, because I thought it was the right thing to do. I have been supportive because I know he needs someone to fill that gap- I think i just needed to be reminded that - no the world does not revolve around me. Dad has just changed so much ( of course who wouldn't) since Mom has gone. I always saw them as a unit and he acted a certain way when around Mom and now he's all different. I appreciate everone's input.

Answer 1

I can relate too this because I went through the same thing ! My Mom passed away unexpectly and my Dad started seeing someone a few months later. I was married and had a family also, but seeing my dad with someone else was very upsetting too me.It took me a long time too come too realize that my Mom would not have wanted my Dad too go through the rest of his life alone. They were married for 28 yrs and were very happy. You just need too give it a little time, and tell your dad how you feel,but also let your dad know that you are trying too work through these feelings you have about him and another woman. By talking it out with your dad it will make you and him also feel better.And always try too remember,the love your mom and dad shared was probably a "once in a lifetime" kind of love. He will always remember your mom, but he needs someone too share life with now that she is gone,. It wa probably not an easy desision too make when he desided too date again, he no doubt, had a million reasons in his mind why he shouldn't, . Please talk too your dad, I think it would help you a lot. I hope this has helped some, this is the first time I've ever answered a question on here, but It was a question I could really relate too!

Answer 2

Don't listen to all the mean people. Your feelings are valid. It hasn't been long since your mom has passed and it's perfectly normal for you to have some selfish thoughts and feelings. However, your dad did take care of your mom, he did it to his best ability and was a wonderful husband. His efforts have probably worn him down as he most likely didn't get much TLC back. I'm saying this only because that sickness can be so tiring on every one. This woman is probably making him feel good, loved, and rewarded in a way.
In my opinion, you should sit down and talk to your dad. Don't be angry or mean but let him know that it has affected you. Let him know how you feel that it "cheapens" the relationship with your mom...
You might be surprised by what he'll say. I'm sure that he loved your mom to no end. He still does. But she's gone, and now this other woman is giving him what he needs, and he's feeling happiness. Nothing wrong with that.
Good luck!

Answer 3

Yes keep your mouth shut and be happy for your dad. Would you feel better if he remained alone and died all by him self without the love of a woman, which is what God intended.

You say that you have a family of your own, no disrespect but i would expect this from a child but not from a woman. As human beings we have a need to receive the love an affection from one of the opposite sex it's only natural.

Again please be happy for your dad. My dad died twenty years ago and my mom has been alone ever since, I feel so sorry for her. I wish she had someone to take romantic trips with and love and take care of her in her retirement years. I pray daily that she will remarry and live happily ever after.

Answer 4

My husband's grandfather remarried shortly after his wife died of cancer. I'm sure there were family members who were taken aback, but it's been almost 30 years and I think "D" has become part of the family. I don't think people in mourning are concerned with an "acceptable period" of time before they enter a new relationship. Rather, I think they are overwhelmed by what they're going through and if someone is there for them and that turns into a relationship, who's to say if it's right or wrong? Please don't think your Dad's feelings for this woman diminishes the love he has for your Mother. Like you said, he was her spouse and her caregiver, they were parents, they shared a lot. No one will ever have those memories and experiences. Talk with your Dad. Best wishes for you and your family.

Answer 5

its always hard to imagine a parent with another wife/husband especially after someone passed away when my mom remarried i was really upset. my dad didnt die, but i knew that my mom was happy and that i would always have the memories of when my dad and mom were happy together and thats all that matters. just think about it this way. Your mom would want your dad to be happy again and to live out his life with another person who makes him happy instead of living the rest of his life mourning over the lose of your mom. Your dad will always have the love of your mom and he will always love her and cherish her for the rest of his life. So therefore dont worry about your dad cheapening your moms and his relationship. As long as the woman is really nice and good to your dad. You, Your dad, His Wife and Your mom should be a happy family. Good luck with life and I hope my advice helped

Answer 6

Missy, it's called moving on and living life. How on earth could you think that your mother's memory could ever be cheapened? She was (and is always) a part of all your lives but God has taken her to be with Him. Your dad is still here and will ALWAYS love your mom; but he deserves to not go through the rest of his life alone. You are not a child and you DO understand what is right for your dad, but you're not admitting it to yourself. Time to reflect and find out why. Be happy for your dad and know he is trying his best to live life to its fullest as your mother would have wanted.

Answer 7

Very sorry to hear about your mother... Don't take this the wrong way but, your Dad has every right to have his own happiness and doesn't need your approval on a relationship. You are shoud keep your mouth shut and let your dad be your dad.

Answer 8

I would say be happy for your dad, but still talk to him about your feelings. Maybe he can help calm your fears.

If he were to get married again that doesn't cheapen the realationship he had with your mother. He was there for her through thick and thin and I'm sure he still considers her the great love of his life.

Wouldn't you rather see him happy then depressed and alone the rest of his life?

Best of luck to you and your family. I am very sorry for your loss.

Answer 9

I wouldn't say keep your mouth shut, but know your place. You are his daughter, not his mother. So you can express your opinion respectfully as a daughter, and then realize that you dad has a life too. If he did everything he could to ensure your mother was taken care of in her final days, then in no way is his new relationship going to cheapen the relationship and love he had/still has for your mother.

Answer 10

Be happy for you dad, you have no idea what the death of your mom has cause inside truely. Maybe this woman is filling up a hole in his heart. It doesnt mean he never loved your mom. You should be happy that he has found someone that truely loves him and will take care of him.

Dont be selfish and support him all the way. Show him that your happy for him, that will probably make him even happy, both of you have gone through some rough times this past year, so happiness is the next option.