What can I do about wind?

Question

Not to be course or anything but I have just started a health diet and I seem to be getting a lot of wind. What can I do to stop it. Its unplesant.

Answer 1

Your body is probably getting use to the new diet you are on and just try to keep burping after meals or go for an activity that has endurance so you could breath it off. Some of those stuff are jogging or running. Or go on the treamill.

Answer 2

I am confused.

Are you sitting at home
in a draft, or are you getting flatulant?

If the problem is window wind, close the
window, please.

If, however, your problem is flatulance,
or in commonly used terms, excessive
pharting, you should shift away from
eating so many tortillias and refried beans.
Try eating more cereal and milk. Fresh
garden salads also seem to be good for
pharting problems. Use as much celery and
tomato as possible in your diet.

Place a tablespoon of baking soda into
every big pot of veggies you cook up.
That helps also. My guess is that it
kicks the gas in the butt before it gets to
your butt. If you suffer from gastric acid
problems, don't use a full tablespoon. Try
only a teaspoon full of baking soda in your
veggies and see how that works.

At the onset of any pharting attack,
and you will know when that is, I
urge you to tightly constrict the muscles
in your lower regions and rush outside
to vent the noxious gases into the fresh
air.

Continued pharting within the confines
of your domicile will create a green hase
which will settle upon everything it touches
thus lending an unpleasant aroma to
window curtains, sheets, bedding, sofa
fabrics, and porus foods such as potato
chips, cheetos, and popcorn. It is also
difficult for sensitive house plants to adapt
to the green cloud gases.

Flatulant gase, however humorous it may
appear to some, is also explosive, being
comprised mainly of methane gas.
So the urgency I recommended to you,
with regard to rushing outside, is certainly
no joke. Your backside gases could ignite,
or worse, explode in a blinding whoosh. So,
if you are going to phart, do not light matches
or stand near a gas stove with open flames.
Smoking while pharting is an absolute no-no
for similar reasons. In fact, it has been
reported by well known researchers that
flatulant smokers can detect the taste of
Marlboros within their pharts. The last thing I
need in my house is pharty marlboro sofa
cushions.

So, you can easiIy see why I would surely
avoid cigarettes during your flatulant episodes.

A weight reduction manual I have here on my desk
even suggests deep knee bends as a cure for
erruptions of abdominal gases. They suggest that
strenuous exercise builds lost muscle integrity. I will
have to let you make your own decisions regarding that issue. What they suggest does make sense to me
though.

Answer 3

Why is it at the age of 30 something, I still find the whole subject of trumping to be hilarious!

I've just started taking an Aloe Vera product and it's having much the same effect on me. I don't worry too much about it, it makes me smile at least..... and I'm sure your body will settle down once it adjusts to the changes, it's probably just in shock!

Answer 4

Remove all the food and aspects of the diet that cause gas...for instance, broccolli, cabbage, beans etc...if you can't remove them, while cooking them you can put a teasoon of baking soda in to cut down on the gas causing agents. Also...celery helps.

Answer 5

Stay Indoors

Dont Wanna Suffocate Anyone.... Incase Of Emergency.. Smash Window

Answer 6

If it is silent, hang about with people in groups of more than 4. Have fun giving accusing stares at each other and pinching your noses.

Eat less legumes and beans. They ferment more and cause flatus.

Answer 7

Unfortunatly is not alot you can do,You body needs time to re adjust to the changes you are making,Give it a few weeks,Try not to concentrate on it too much and you will be fine

Answer 8

Activated charcoal from pharmacy or health shop

Answer 9

PEPPERMINT! by the way its your body getting used to the change in diet.It will last.. for some time. maybe some one should make knicker freshers.. the deodorant to keep ur smells sweet. heheh

Answer 10

Wear a gas mask