Teaching manners in daycares/schools?

Question

I work at a daycare, and I have been really pushing the children (5 year olds) to say "please" and "thank you" and "may I" instead of "I want." I'm tired of their lack of manners - it isn't hard, I've worked with TODDLERS who know better. my question is this: if/when parents fail miserably to instill good manners in their children is it appropriate for the daycare/school to pick up the slack? How would you feel if you were a parent and knew this was happening in the classroom? I don't want parents to feel like I think they're terrible parents, but I feel the children have to learn somewhere, and if it's not happening at home, then it needs to happen at school.

Answer 1

Good for you! I think that, as a society, we all need to give each other gentle reminders to mind our manners in public -- it's the lubrication that makes things run smoothly in society.

And I also agree with you about too many parents slacking off on too much of the rearing of their children, assuming that "the schools will teach him that!" My wife and I aren't taking ANY chances with that, and are planning on teaching him everything he needs to know by ourselves, just in case.

(Oh, and you should see how the women at the daycare smile when my 4-year-old son holds the door open and says, "Ladies first!"...)

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I say good for you, unfortunately many parents these days do not teach their children manners and we are raising a society of heathens. Yes, it they should be taught at home however, since they are not in many cases I say good for you for picking up the slack. Manners are a very important thing. I have always told my children that manners are very important and if you don't use them people look at you as if you've been raised by wolves. It is not that hard to teach a child manners, however I think the parents that don't either do not have them either or they are just to involved with their lives to bother teaching their children.

Answer 4

I totally fell the same way! I also work at a daycare, and there are two children there that are extremly rude! I try to teach them manners and it dosent work because they dont have that kind of structure at home! I think that if children are not taught manners at home the should be tought at school, they need to learn somehow! And if the parents dont like it, then they need to take the time a do it thereselves!!

Answer 5

Regardless of what happens at home, a daycare or school should teach manners. Actually, they should only be reinforcing what happens at home, but we know that is not always the case. For some kids, if they don't get it at school, they won't get it anywhere.

As a parent, I'm glad that both my children's daycare and now elementary school stresses academics as well as social politeness. They don't accept anything less. I've had my kids out in public and seen the results of hometeaching as well as school reinforcement. I'm so proud when my kids say "please" and "thank you" without having to be prompted to do so.

Answer 6

When my daughter went to preschool they taught manners at school and expected parents to teach it at home. at the preschool my daughter went to there are Goals set for the parents to follow through with by the end of the year etc. Preschool did help teach my daughter manners she was quite stubborn you'd say black my daughter said nope it's white just to be contrary. Also, if there are classroom meeting put Manners in there as a topic to discuss. We had classroom meetings once a month I was the parent rep for my daughter's class. You know that way if there is a group of parents there you aren't singling out any one parent and making them feel bad. Maybe that is something you ought to suggest they do in daycare. A parent meeting once in awhile or if you are staffed ok to do it set a couple of goals for each kid at put like a 2 month deadline on that. If you have the money & means reward the ones that reach their goals.

Answer 7

I'd be thrilled to know that someone cared enough about my kids to teach them good manners. It would certainly make me think twice about the example I'm setting for my kids.

I wish more people understood what an impact manners make on ones life. If two young people are equally qualified for a job, the one who knows how to give a proper handshake, writes the thank you note after the interview and comes to the interview well groomed Will get the job over the person with the limp-wrist handshake, indifference and sloppy appearance.

Manners make our world a more civilized place. I thank you on behalf of all those parents out there who either don't get it, or do and just don't care.

Answer 8

Watch the movie, "To Sir, With Love" and apply it to any age child in any school setting. It will improve YOUR worknig conditions and it may actually be a reinforcement of what the parents are trying to accomplish. Children often think they can get away with just about anything when "mom" isn't around. I suspect the children in your daycare are being taught manners, but they think they can be crudely casual when out of earshot of their parents.

By all means, continue.

Answer 9

My mum is a teacher for 5 years old kids... And she got the same problem.

I think nowadays parents want to have the good part with their kids. Now, women work as hard as men. So when the parents come back at home in the evening, and during the weekends, they want to have a very good time with their kids, and they don't say anything to them that could angry them. They don't even say to their kids "say please if you want the candy". The kid say "I want the candy", and the parents give the candy just to be in peace with their kids.
And the parents seems to believe that the teacher are there to teach their kids all the difficult things like that. So the teacher is the bad guy, and the parents are the good guys.

At least, it's the situation in France...

Answer 10

I commend you for taking on the burden that is truly the responsibility of the parents.

I would have a simple reward and ignore procedure: Do not let the child get what they want until they ask properly.

Have the children go over the rules at the start of the day by repeating, "Yes, please" "No, thank you"

The one I had an issue with, because adults do it all the time is "May I ..." vs. "Can I ..."

The one that worked somewhat was I asked the kids to choose which one was correct and made a game of it:
"May I go to the bathroom, play, sleep, etc?" Permission
"Can I go to the bathroom, play, sleep, etc?" Ability

Good luck, and thank you for your efforts.