Rude noises from Neighbor?

Question

I bought a new home a little over a year ago in a new subdivision. We were the first on the block to move in. We recently got new neighbors, (family of 5), and the father has asthma very bad. He comes outside to his backyard throughout the day hacking and hacking until he hawks up some flem, then spits. My question is, I built a stone patio bordering their backyard prior to their moving in and eat dinner out there quite often. I have lost my appetite many times due to this. How do I ask him to go inside if he has to do that or confront him. At times I almost LOST my dinner listening to it. I know there is medication for asthma but I don't believe he takes it? Help anyone!!!

Answer 1

Hi, ever thought of playing some light music through some garden speakers while your eating outside, this way it will mask his heaving chest spasms and you can alternate the volume to suit, if he so happens to complain about the music you can then explain the reason you had the speakers installed, all the best.

Answer 2

I believe he goes out side to avoid his own family from witnessing such a distasteful scene. I think you should write a polite letter informing him that you are not enjoying his episodes of lung failure and that you in fact can hear it quite vividly and have sympathy for his illness but would appreciate it if he would go into his restroom and cough up that lung or go anywhere that is not in your range of audio reception. You might even include a phone number in case he has some emergency and no one is around to help him. This of course is unlikey , since he has 4 other family members. But if you offer it, be prepared to follow through if he calls some late night or early morning. Hey, you also can be a good neighbor and caring person by doing this. Chances are he will be embarrassed to find out his problem is so audible to you and that is why I say write the letter to him.

Answer 3

That's a touchy one - after all, he is on HIS property and it may be that the sound of the hacking disturbs other family members when he is inside. It may also be that outside is the only place he feels he can draw in a tolerable breath. A man's home is his castle. Personally, I think it is you who needs to adjust something on the homefront.

Start with a privacy fence, add tall shrubbery and a tree or two. This will buffer the sounds of the hacking.

I don't know what region you are in, but usually, a homeowner is restricted on how close he can build something to a neighbor's property. You might want to double check that before you say anything to him. He may also know that and cause you more worries than the sound of his coughing.

Just my two cents.

Answer 4

Next time you see him come out to hack just make your presence known with a loud "howdy neighbor!". I doubt that if he knows your there he would choose to hack up his flem. Seems strange that he chooses the backyard over the bathroom anyway. But if this still doesn't deter him, annoy him by striking up a conversation with him while he's hacking... or just cheer him on.

Neighbor: "hhhaaaacckkkk cough cough"
You: "Hey neighbor... did you see that episode of Seinfeld where..."
Neighbor: "cough hhaackkk cough phtttooey"
You: "Wow that was a nice one... nice and green"
Neighbor: "cough cough hhhaaacckkkkkk"
You: "Atta boy! hock that loog... hock that loog... hock that loog..."
Neighbor: "arrrrrggghhhh hhhaaaccckkkk phhttooooey"
You: "Way to go neighbor! I knew you could do it! Now next time let's go for your whole left lung!"

That should send him looking for a new location.

Answer 5

There is no easy way to broach this subject. Try this, the next time he comes out and does it call over and ask him if he is OK and is there anything you can do. It will be a polite gesture on your part but it will also let him know that his actions have been noticed by you and are enough to cause concern. He may become more conscious of it and stay inside.

Answer 6

Can you put in a water feature or speakers so that you can use a noise barrier? I've seen so many innocent requests by neighbors turn into feuds that lasted for years because people misinterpreted intentions.

I would find a way to deal with YOUR hearing it--not his doing it because he does have a right to do this on his property. Sorry.

Answer 7

Mask your disgust with over-politeness, it's a good way to make him feel bad. "Oh my goodness, that's quite a cough you have there! I've heard you coughing like that before while I've been out here having dinner, it sounds just dreadful, you poor man!" Things like that, let him know that you HAVE heard him, it has been while you have been EATING ... but if you mask it with faux concern (or real concern, if you're a nice person) it might let him realize it without being totally put off. It's tough to confront people, especially when you live in such close proximity.

Answer 8

That's a tough situation because there is no way to put it to him without him taking offense. Then you've got a tense relationship with your neighbor for the duration of you living next to him. I probably wouldn't say anything to him and wear a headset when outside eating.

Answer 9

whoa thats a tuffy.erm.....you could try and have a polite word with him but your risking anoying him and possibly making things worse.why dont you put a sterio or radio on your patio while you eat and try and drown him out,failing that i would put a bottle of cough medicine on his door step! good luck dude!!

Answer 10

if he is in his own yard, he could as easily ask you to go inside to eat. Neither of you are obligated to do either one. all you can really do is go ask him to stop doing it, at least when you are eating. he will feel embarrassed so you will have to be tactful about it. you will have to win him to your way of thinking. Get a plan to do that and go for it.