I found out about 6 months ago that my boyfriend had been talking "sexually" to other females via internet and phone. It really hurt, but we have been able to work through it, although my trust and faith in him has not yet fully returned. He says that he doesn't do this anymore. Is it possible that he has fully stopped this disgusting behavior? He says he loves me and wants to marry me....
2006-10-04 03:30:59 · 23 answers · asked by Candi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Any person can change his behaviour and attitude.
It is your home work to help him.
I do feel that he told you the truth and want to marry you.
2006-10-04 03:36:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me when I tell you that the answer to this is as plain as you can see it. The answer is "NO". There is a slim chance that he did change, but about 95%-98% of the guys don't change. They say they will and or did, but believe me they don't change. And once the trust is gone, you will never get it back ever. I know this from experiance. So i'd move on with your life and find a guy that you can trust and love, instead of being with one that will make you wonder all the time. Because in the back of your head you will sit there wondering while you are at work or any where where he isn't in your sight, is he on the computer chatting sexually with other girls, and doing what ever. Who knows maybe he has even met up with a few of them. I'd just lose him and move on with your life. I wouldn't waste my breath on someone that I could no longer trust any more. This is just my advice, you can be the only person to decide the outcome. If you give him a chance, it'll always be on your mind, and it will haunt you. Why be with someone that you can't ever trust any more. You'll just sit there wondering is he doing it again.
2006-10-04 10:39:18 · answer #2 · answered by danielle m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, if you are thinking of marrying this guy, expect that to come up later on.. he may have given it up for now, and he might have it under control for some time, but face it, either you get used to the idea and live with it or even try to get into it with him so he doesn't look outside your relationship.. or you look for someone else.. I mean, if he is doing this, when he is completely in love with you, and before you get married, when he has no "need" to look for someone else.. can you imagine how it will be when you are married say 10 years, you've gained 10 pounds, you have a couple of kids who drain you of your energy, and you have a less-than-ideal sex life?? Think about it now.. before you get married.. because people don't really change.. I mean it's like if you promised him you would stop watching those romantic movies you love, because he hates them.. do you think you could give up watching those movies for the rest of your life??
And on another note.. are you sure he was only "talking"?? Don't you feel like he was cheating on you?? Do you know his history with this?? Did he get together with these women before he met you?? Did the whole build-up really lead only to talking?? Do you feel cheated on?? What would you say to your friend if her boyfriend did that.. regarless of what "better qualities" your boyfriend has that makes you love him.. there are other qualities on your friend's boyfriend that makes her love him.. try to analyse it rationally before you say YES, I WILL..
2006-10-04 10:46:59 · answer #3 · answered by verito 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think i would post pone any thoughts of getting married until you find out for sure that he has stopped all of his online behaviour.. and you can totally trust him again. And of course he will tell you that he has stopped doing this because he knows that you are upset about him doing it... They will tell you what ever it takes to get you to believe them and trust them and then they will go right back to doing it again..
Remember that Trust is one of the great parts of a marriage and if you don't have it , it will never work out.. You also need to sit and talk to him and find out why he felt that he had to talk to others like this when you were together.
Is he lacking something in your relationship.
Communication is another one of the top prioritys to making a marrage work.. with out it you will fall into a rut and not be able to meet problems that arise and make things better.
so think about all that is going on. sit and talk to him and find out reasons before you decide to spend your life with someone you can't totally trust or communicate with.
2006-10-04 10:48:49 · answer #4 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I was in a similar situation w/ my boyfriend and my bother's wife. They were not talking sexually exactly but they were flirting while she was having problems w/ my brother over the phone. So by accident I listened to the conversation and confront both of them, I dont talk to her and he assumed his responsability on it, he said it was his fault and now he is trying to make it up. We have been together for 4 yrs now and he was really jealous @ the begining but he changed, so I now changes can happen, but be alert because tentation is always there. Give him a chance and if you see the same pattern again leave him.
2006-10-04 10:38:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right not to trust him. He has already violated your relationship. It is possible that he has temporarily stopped this behavior, but do you really want to marry someone before all of your family and friends and then find out years later that he is doing it again? Don't ignore the warning signs.
2006-10-04 10:34:07 · answer #6 · answered by Tara P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, it is possible for guys to change. Especially for one's they really care about. But my advice would be to trust him completely before you do anything. Mainly because if there's no trust, there's no relationship
2006-10-04 10:35:07 · answer #7 · answered by gothchic212000 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's still there locked away in his mind... He may one day return it... simply because he knew the excitement he got from it... even with all of this he may still love you... but that's not to say he will not revert back to his old ways...
2006-10-04 10:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by deakjone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is will be time...he will feel you are his world, when that time comes he will change never to look back what he has been doing....show him your value, the value of a motherly women is..Good LUCK.
2006-10-04 10:35:45 · answer #9 · answered by Montel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they have the desire to change they can but it may be hard and you may not like his slips I think you should look closely at this.
Good Luck and God Bless!!
2006-10-04 10:38:15 · answer #10 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋