Truant officer......find one.
2006-10-04 03:42:06
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answer #1
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answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7
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Is it possible to give her a fresh start in another school. The school is where the problem lies.
It is a fear of failure, of ostracization due to a bad reputation whether merited or not. Fear of being harmed. She has probably been bullied with ridicule etc...from both boys and girls. Was she ever date-raped? Girls don't tell and often blame themselves and are too ashamed and the boy will go and tell it as though she were the biggest slut in the world.
I understand how frustrated you must feel and angry and probably even a little embarassed. She has serious trust issues and needs to find someone that she can talk with whom she can trust not to run with a report of everything she has said to you. Until you find this person she will shut down completely.
Does your state offer an "Alternative School" for teens like this?
It often has a bad stigma to teens as the delinquent school but quite frankly that is what she is. However, the program there caters to this sort of personality and enables them to complete high school. I know that it would feel good to just abandon her but you can't. The degree of your frustration is a reflection of how you truly do care.
I wish I could be of more help. Good Luck to you and don't give up on her. She has already given up on herself.
2006-10-04 10:28:53
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answer #2
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answered by GrnApl 6
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Since it's only three months until she is 18 I would drop the school thing. Don't let her sit around the house though. Make her get a job. If she won't do that then lock her out of the house during working hours so she can't just sit around. Do not buy her any extras, she can get a job for those. It's hard but I'll bet someone is getting ignored while you are putting so much time and effort in her (another child or husband). Good luck.
2006-10-04 10:29:22
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answer #3
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answered by kitkat 7
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first off her father not wanting anything to do with her, has nothing to do with her behaivor... as long as you are there and show here love.
I feel bad for the road your daughter has chosen.. She is throwing her life away.. I know you want to help her.. There are places out there that can help her. She is still under 18 so you have to act fast before she turns 18.
You need to contact social service. Have you thought about a group home for troubled teens or a reform school... or tell her this. you live by my rules, or else your going to a foster home...
I am not sure why you come on here callng her father an f looser. That may be true. But you can not blame hiim for your daughters problem. especially when he not around...
Your first parental obligations is to stop blaming her father and take responsibiitly for your daughters actions. I know it is always easier to put the blame elsewhere.....
You need to stop bad mouthing her father.... she can make her own opinion about him.. How would you feel if you heard someone bad mouth your father....
He may not be there for her, but he is her father....
Believe me I do not like my daughters father and he is a looser. But I never tell my daughter that... I dont go around saying I love him, but i do not say bad things about him either....
So you need to conatact social service....I am sure they can help you out...
and please do not get defensive about what I said about your daughtes father... but this is not about him and this is about your daughter... you can not blame him for your daughters actions... nor can you be blamed for them.. Your daughter choose the behaivor, but now you have to stop the behavior and take controll...
control.. yes I know.How does one do that without a fighting match and screeming and yelling.. It is tough, I have a twelve year old..
2006-10-04 10:26:32
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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Maybe letting her know that she has 3 short months until she is an offical adult...who can take care of herself. What kind of job is she gonna get? Does she think you are gonna support her for the rest of her life? Tell her if shes old enough to make the decision to stop going to school, than shes old enough to go out into the world and make it on her own.
2006-10-04 10:21:58
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answer #5
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answered by JC 7
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This may not be a good idea but if I were in the situation I would let her know that is she doesn't want to go to school than she needs to find a job immediately and has to pay room and board to stay there. She would have to pay bills and supply her own food.
2006-10-04 10:40:59
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answer #6
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answered by mZgRoW*N*sExY 3
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I would call the school guidance counselor to see what he would suggest. Perhaps they can have the police come and get her. The bigger problem is that she doesn't want to go though. Why don't you try to solve the reason she doesn't want to go rather than just "how can I make her go". If she doesn't care about her future, that is a much larger problem.
2006-10-04 10:21:01
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answer #7
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answered by Mike Hunt 5
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Well there is a thing called tough LOVE. Since she doesn't feel the need to go to school then maybe it's time for her to be out on her own. Give her the choose either school or she can't live there.
2006-10-04 10:24:11
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answer #8
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answered by Monty L 5
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I feel for you, I am having the same problem with my daughter, I had to get a truancy officer in to make her go every day, I took away every luxury she had, computer, phone friends etc and I sleep next to her every night to ensure she does not leave. It is very hard and I stay tired because she tries to leave in the middle of the night, then I have to deal with the truacy officer and we really have to fight to get her to go to school.
2006-10-04 10:22:44
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answer #9
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answered by confusedpatricia 2
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in my opinion
do nothing at this time, except to tell her
you have decided to allow her some time out.
tell her you and her mother love her, and you will provide for her and care for her until the end of 2007
at which time she must take over responsiblity for her own life.
should she, at that time, choose to remain in your home ...she will be expected to pay rent and cover all her own expenses.
having told her that, just get on with being a happy family.
every few months you can remind her of the deadline, don't constantly rub her nose in it.
sometimes life deals up things parents don't like, but trying to force her to conform probably won't work....so set a time limit and let her create her own life however disappointing it may be for you to give up your own hopes and expectations.
2006-10-04 10:47:56
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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As a mother of three...my oldest 18 my youngest 10...I have to remind my children they live in my house and must live by my rules...one of which is that everyone has a job... and theirs is to so to school!
2006-10-04 10:23:25
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answer #11
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answered by sjgfan24 1
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