my dad has custody of my cousins..houston is turning 3 in 10 days and Sarah is turning 2 on Feb 10..how do i get Houston to quit hitting me and his little sister..and how do i get Sarah to screaming everytime i give her a bath?.(there mom is a drug addict and everything..and she abused them)
2006-10-04 03:11:52 · 11 answers · asked by *~Angel_Eyes~* 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
take them to therapy, they have a bad history and need to get it out of their minds.
2006-10-04 03:13:36 · answer #1 · answered by Henry_Tee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
timeout and don't argue with the boy as well as not letting the little sister drive him crazy
The little girl probably didn't get very many nice baths if her mom was having problems. She was probably impatient and ill tempered making bath time unpleasant. Try a small swimming pool that is optional if you can. Letting her approach water on her own with supervision of course, may help her to want to like it. Toys, bath foam shapes, puppet wash clothes, scented shampoos and fun stuff like that helps wet the appetite. Let her pick out some stuff at the store that she is interested in. When it comes time for a bath give her notice to get her stuff ready (toys). This excites them to the occasion. Also try just running water in the tub without plugging the tub allowing the water to drain out. Run it lightly, not up full blast. It makes it less intimidating.
You may also want to explain the concepts of being dirty and the need to take a bath to get clean. Children's videos help a lot. Elmo and Bear in the Big Blue House (Nickelodeon) are good ones. Constantly talk up bath time and gear many activities towards the event. It's almost like subtle brainwashing. lol but it works.
If that still doesn't help, try asking her why she don't like baths. Sometimes it's something simple and other times it make take some extra love and support.
Having been abused it's very important they know that it's not their fault what their mother did. And it's OK to still love her. They need to know that their mother isn't a bad person but that she has done some really bad things. She is confused and needs to get help to be better. But right now they are in a safe place where they will stay until then and maybe longer.
2006-10-04 11:34:34 · answer #2 · answered by chance_ghost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sarah is still young and it could be a phase, both my sons went thru that at 2 yrs old.... what you can do is hop in the tub with her....maybe?!?!? Houston, well my sons are 2 and 3... and i am a constant referee, as far as hitting one another goes. So they have time out...or my 3 year old loves movies...so i take one away...really the trick is consistancy..same punishment everytime... dont hit him, cause it will confuse him...but a simple time out on the couch with the TV off, is a good start. or start taking away toys that he values...until he gets that hitting isnt helping. He may have temper issues because he was abused. So when time out is finished, sit and have a small quiet chat with him. and say " you cannot hit, that hurts people... and make sure he feels that he is still loved. He has had a rough few years, so he really needs as much security you can give him!
2006-10-04 10:26:33 · answer #3 · answered by bangbanks72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy for the hitting issues and as far as the bath thing goes...something tramatic must have happened while taking a bath or Sarah wouldn't scream so much. You might want to ask the (case worker, if this was the case) if they know anything. Just give her time and she will come to understand that it's ok to be in the tub.
2006-10-04 10:21:34 · answer #4 · answered by Mom to Foster Children 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a foster care social worker and have a masters in social work. Most of my professional life was dealing with these kids.
First of all.....divide normal kid stuff from foster care issues.....3 year old boys hit their sisters.....react firmly "NO HITTING!" that's it....no big discussion....put him in time out EVERYTIME......DO NOT HIT HIM!
Also, while hitting is not ok...make sure the sister isn't bugging him....at two she is old enough to be a pain....is she in his stuff...messing up what he is doing??????
A two year old resisting a bath could be a two year old controlling the universe. They do that!
I do advise family counseling....at their age, they could have bonding issues and trust issues that need to be explored now.
If you're female and she's a girl, you could get in the bathtub with her (I'd wear a bathing suit so you don't scare her) just have some fun with it!
With patience, these kids can be fine.....keep working with them
2006-10-04 11:05:14 · answer #5 · answered by jm1970 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love, patience, and re-direction. When they do something wrong, instead of just saying "no" or "that's bad" or "that's wrong", show them another way. Show them what's right, nice, and appropriate. Tell them why it isn't nice to hit and scream and tell them why it's better to hug and use inside voices. And don't forget, praise, praise, praise! When something is done right, give them praise. They might be seeking attention and even negative attention is fullfilling when they are lacking. Sometimes ignoring simple disobedience stops certain acts. Also, if they are bored, they will act out. Make sure they have plenty to do and plenty of people to pay them attention and play along with them. *my boys act out when they are bored*
2006-10-04 10:25:43 · answer #6 · answered by Nina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kudos to dad!! If the mom was a drug addict then the kids are probably used to doing what they please, being neglected, so on and so forth. Which is why I'm assuming your dad has them. Be calm, be helpful, and be consistent. Kids are very good on learning new things, esp behavior. It will take time. I'm sure there are many scars to heal. Good Luck to your family!
2006-10-04 10:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by Need Help! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tender Loving Care, and therapy.
2006-10-04 10:16:07 · answer #8 · answered by jbird35645 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of love and patience. Sounds like they've been through a lot. Give them lots of positive reinforcement when they do right.
2006-10-04 10:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by Mujer Bonita 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get into family counseling ASAP. It will help to have better insight and support from professionals. Things can get better in time.
2006-10-04 10:15:39 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. Christopher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
therapy and give them lots of love and attention but dont spoil them to much thats not good for them either good luck never put them on medications
2006-10-04 10:16:03 · answer #11 · answered by lita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋