My partner and i split up a few months ago after being together for a year and a half. We were best friends, and engaged. I have sinced booked my flight home (he is english, i am australian), and i leave next wednesday.
But now we have worked things out, realised they we both got cold feet and scared, and now we are more in love than ever. We decided that i would still go home, we would both have some time to ourselves, and then hopefully he would come over in a few months.
I've applied for a new job at home, told everyone i'm coming, put in my tax claim already (so i legally CAN"T work any longer), but he wants me to stay another couple of months to make sure. I don't think there's any point (and no offense to londoners, but i can't wait to get home!).
There's so many more details and little nuances to add, but that's the gist of it. Please help!
2006-10-04 03:05:24 · 27 answers · asked by ~ Cat ~ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
absence makes the heart grow fonder.you have to go.
you should both take the time apart to evaluate the relationship from your own viewpoint.
if he loves you he will follow you wherever you go+however long it takes
if you love him you will be waiting when he gets there
whats a couple of months if you end up spending the rst of your life together?
2006-10-04 03:11:35 · answer #1 · answered by bigbadbald33 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go home. You have several practical reasons to go anyway such as the tax thing and the homesickness.
Also if he's serious, a little time apart, though very very difficult, should not hurt your love. I had a long distance relationship USA-Trinidad for about a year but in the end it made us stronger because it increased trust and improved communication. Long distance doesn't leave much choice. (BTW we're married now)
If nothing else, going home for at least a little while will test the relationship and if you cannot handle being far apart for a temporary period then you may not handle being in each others faces for the rest of your life very well.
Not to mention, if you stay, can't work and things don't work out, it would put you in a bad situation.
So I'm not saying give up the relationship, just go home for a while and see if the relationship survives it. Build yourself up for a while. If after the experience you both decide you cannot live without each other - then wedding bells it is.
2006-10-04 10:24:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go, definately go. For one thing, all the plans are in place and you would be causing yourself a hell of a lot of hassle cancelling all your arrangements and you can't even work in this country anymore so what are you going to do! Stick to the original plan and come back in a couple of months when you can see things a bit clearer. That way you can know whether you really do want to be with each other.
2006-10-04 11:11:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and follow your original plan, of him coming over in a few months. I think it is the best thing to do for all the reasons you have stated and also because you want to go. Your boyfriend need to understand that now, before you get married, because it will become a norm for you (if you settle in London) or for him (if you settle in Australia.)
International marriages often have a very negative side to them; if you are living in your spouse's country, your spouse finds it easy to forget that you have a family too and need to see them. Sometimes you do too! So start including such trips now. He'll get used to it if he really loves you.
I am sure you have a lot of doubts and of course you can't add all the details, but really go, and if I have given you one more issue to deal with, it wasn't out of bad intentions!
2006-10-04 10:21:58 · answer #4 · answered by kiteeze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is getting cold feet. Think what could happen in two months time if he changes his mind about your relationship again. You are the only one who loses out / face. Stick with your original plan, assure him as much as you can and see what happens. He will follow you if his feelings are real and true. Best of luck - couldn't agree more about the Londoners!! Safe journey home.
2006-10-04 10:14:13 · answer #5 · answered by rondavous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going in the correct direction. It will not take long to
find out the true feelings of both. Only suggest that you should
not come rushing back even if begged by him. Wait a while.
Men have different reactions to women (and behaviour) so
give him plenty of rope to hang himself, if you really wish to
know if he a suitable partner for a lifetime.
2006-10-04 10:26:21 · answer #6 · answered by Ricky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go for you and the relationship. Things happen for a reason and it looks like somebody is watching out for you. I won't say what my guess is, but you're coming home for many reason (some you don't know about or have control over).
Memory and reflection bring it into our present and will drag it into our future as well. That we are--every day of our lives--who we have been in days that have passed. Each crossroads we face will involve choices that define us forever, because to take one path is to leave another behind. And what we leave behind is not merely another life we may have lived, but another self we may have been.
2006-10-04 10:11:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should take a break, gather your thoughts, see if you still want to go ahead with it. Besides, you miss home and your family. It will do you good to get back and see them all again. If it's meant to be, the break won't change anything. If you don't feel like seeing him again, there are plenty more fish in the sea, love. Good luck. Hope it works out for you.
2006-10-04 10:09:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
being far from eachother could make u reconsider more accurate. take a space off, it ll work !
give a shot then, let him stay in touch with u. if everything seems okey, u can easily get back together.
but dont do anything just because u set up everything as if u have to/must. this will be the biggest mistake.
which part is working; ur heart or brain...
2006-10-04 10:17:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you sound like you have made your mind up to go home it's best you do as you have planed because your in the very same position i am in at this moment in time i would love to go back hom but no one will understand what i am going through and if you can make your life work out where your happy,please do so and don't be so selfless where the other's are so self centered and all they want is to use you as long as they are at gain.move back,you sound like you need a break and i can feel your lost take a break for a while.
don't force yourself to do what you don't want to do.please don't put your happyness at hold for noone.good luck honey and please take a break because if not you will be just living your life with loads of depression and this is no good stress and depression will only send you on a downer.no matter how much you love him,your ready to put your life on hold for him and what ishe ready to do for you.nothing,just to be honest with you men know we as the femina sect are easy to fool and play around with.don't be stupid like me.you have taken a step please go with it.don't let nothing stop you.if it's ment to be it will work out if it's not you can say your very lucky to get your life back before it's hurt beyond repair.come on pick yourself up and be strong.good luck honey wish i could move home like you.i'm lost and alone here.get going now.and try to be happy.please please don't let yourself down.good luck honey.
2006-10-04 10:24:12 · answer #10 · answered by mariolla oneill 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋