she calls everyday severl times a day sometimes i feel like i have no life some times i just dont anwsere the phone anymore because it is 21 question where were you, why did you go there, who did you go with, what did they say, what did you say, what else did you do. it is driving me crazy i need to tell her to back off but i dont want to piss her off. frankly i dont really care if i piss her off but she gets crazy and i dont really need anymore **** right now. if i piss her off she tries taking me to court to get custody of my son or tells my husband that i am sleeping around on him. so someone please help me how can i tell her to stop calling so much but in a more pleasant way
2006-10-04 02:38:22 · 21 answers · asked by liz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You can't and you don't. That's why she is Mom!
2006-10-04 02:39:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Begin with a courteous and candid talk with her. Be calm and assertive when speaking with her. Tell her that you wish you had more time, not only for her frequent daily calls, but for calls from your friends. Suggest that you call her or she call you once a week where you can "catch up" on matters relating to her grandson. Then, stick to it. Install an answering machine so that you can screen the calls. Perhaps "call display" installed on your phone will alert you to the calls you dont want to answer. Just because she calls frequently does not mean that you are under any obligation to run to her beck and call.
2006-10-04 03:12:34 · answer #2 · answered by Jo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband that you all need to have a face to face conversation with his mother and him. Put everything on the table. Its make you uneasy because she is bothering you for no reason. If he trust you there shouldn't be a problem with cheating if you not. Why would she want custody over her sons child if you are both married still and taking care of you son??? Make it know that you are not comfortable with his mother doing that.
2006-10-04 03:03:38 · answer #3 · answered by KeKe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you discussed this with your husband? Have you done something in the past that makes her or her son not trust you? Is either doing this b/c she's crazy, bored, SHE doesn't trust you from her own gut instincts or your husband has told her things about you that makes her not trust you. He may have even asked her to check up on you. How could she expect to get custody of your child if you are married to the child's father?!?
2006-10-04 02:44:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could see staying in touch with her if she was a positive influence in your life, interested in your son & supportive of you, BUT - this woman is poison & you are right, she needs to leave you alone. You can try not answering as often as possible, but I suppose at some point you'll have to speak with her. Would it do any good to ask your spouse to speak to his mom about her incessant calling & the whole 20 questions routine? Could/would he do that for you? That's one route. One other thing you could try is to simply tell her that 1> you've married her son & ya'll are making your own life which means 2> she needs to respect that & stop with the 20 questions. Explain, as nicely as possible, that you are building a new life for yourself & your son & that she needs to be more respectful of that. Tell her that when she starts asking personal questions about who you saw, what you did - that you won't be answering because it's your personal business & you don't feel comfortable discussing your life with her any longer. Tell her it all comes down to boundaries & that she needs to respect your space (psycho-babble makes it sound official!!) And you have to be firm about that in the future, too - you need to keep her out of your personal space. When she starts in on you in future conversations, just say "boundaries" & tell her you don't wish to discuss those things with her. I know; I have never been able to establish & keep boundaries with my mom - she feels like I have to tell her everything!!! (makes me nuts) Tell her that if she wants to talk about your son that's great. You have that bond in common. But explain that your personal life is now off limits to her & you would appreciate it if she could respect your decisions. Also, please be sure to tell you husband exactly what you said - hell, tape the conversation so he can hear it verbatim. That way she can't twist your words, put a different spin on it, invent crap you didn't say or cause MORE trouble. Let him know that while you respect her as your kids' grandmother, the time for ya'll being best buds is past & he needs to help her understand that as well. Tape one of her regular conversations before you tell her the new rules, so he can hear what you've had to endure. She probably badgers him too & only comes after you when he blows her off!!! lmao Good luck my dear & stick firm to your stand!!!
sorry - since you said she tries to take you to court to get custody of your son, I assumed you were divorced - she has no leg to stand on where your son is concerned, especially if ya'll are still MARRIED!! so she can blow that out of her butt!! She can't take your child away from you - no matter what. Tell her you know that too - call her bluff & let her know you will NOT be intimidated any further!!!
2006-10-04 02:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her that you like to have more time to chat with her but it seems like every time she calls you are right in the middle of something. You would like it if the two of you could have a day out of the week that would be your "call" day. I have this problem with my father and that is how I solved it. He calls me every Tuesday and that way I am expecting it and can go over in my mind how to handle him. If this doesn't fly, then you need to get your husband involved.
2006-10-04 02:42:53 · answer #6 · answered by roxy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She can't blackmail you if your husband doesn't let her. You and your could husband alternate days for calling her. One of you phone her each evening to chat for a few minutes. Make sure she know this is the only time, outside of emergencies, you will be talking. Her son will be be doing half the phoning. If he won't do his share of the phoning, don't do it for him. It's his mom, and his problem!
2006-10-04 02:53:24 · answer #7 · answered by lollipop 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband about it. Tell him that she upsets you and you'd appreciate if she called less often. Several times a day is not acceptable for you, after all you're a responsible adult and you're not her daughter. Highlight the fact that you feel spied on and it's not wise from a mother-in-law to endanger her son's marriage.
Good luck
2006-10-04 03:24:10 · answer #8 · answered by chevalfonce 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does your husband know it bothers you? have him say something to her. Remind her you are the one married to her son not her if she gets mad oh well. If she tells him that you are messing around would he believe it? if so then there is no relationship there you don't need added stress in your life and i think a judge would laugh in he face if she takes you to court for something ridiculous like that. tell her that its none of her business what you do and who your with. you are grown and shouldn't have to answer to anyone.
2006-10-04 02:56:02 · answer #9 · answered by lovecbma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do like i did and put call block on your phone and or get caller id and look every time the phone rings before you answer the phone to this day my husband doesnt know i did that for 2 years yeah for me
2006-10-04 14:55:54 · answer #10 · answered by jo mason 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont answer the phone when she calls you, if you do act busy and you have to go and hang up all the time
2006-10-04 02:42:30 · answer #11 · answered by SOMEGUY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋