I just found out I am pregnant a few weeks ago. I have this "friend" who now is saying that my 9 1/2 month old is going to suffer and end up hating me because of the new baby since I am "robbing him of his babyhood". Anyone have any children close in age? If so, have you noticed that this has effected them badly or made them hostile towards you?
2006-10-04 02:31:31 · 19 answers · asked by Michelle10477 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
your friend its stupid and probably jealous...its all about making baby part of the new babys life and showing he is as important....try to balance out time for both of them.....good luck im sure everything will be ok....
2006-10-04 02:42:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Michelle,
Good Morning my dear, I`m a father of seven. ages 25 all the way down to 8. The first three Wendy, Jim Jr, Laura were a year apart. They have been best friends and siblings all through life. Nothing was taken from the others, none went without love and attention. It`s just now you`ll be spread alittle thinner, LOL, and as you know one keeps you busy well two is twice the fun. Hopefully the dad will be able to assist and you will have a great time raising the two children. Your friend was VERY wrong. I`m sorry you even had to hear such a thing. I promise you it will be all right and the children being so close in age will have a better time together growing up. Two is the perfect number sweety.
My children were balanced and never had any abnormal behaviors due to being so close in age. Jim Jr however moved to heaven at the age of 18 due to a motor vehicle accident on the night of March 02,2002. I miss him so much but we all look forward to being reunited on that day when Jesus splits the Eastern Skies and the Rapture takes place. What a day that will be.
Sorry didnt mean to ramble, I hope you breath alittle easier and actually look forward to having this new addition.
Hugs,
Jim
2006-10-04 09:43:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is almost 18 months difference. Two years is normal, & that is only a few months shy. I don't think an 18 month old is capable of hating mom because another baby came along. Just make sure the first baby isn't ignored in all the preparations for the new one, & things should be fine. I know the first one won't understand, but when you go shopping for stuff for the new one, ask the first ones opinion. Do you like this for the new baby?? It also won't hurt to get a little something for the first baby when you get stuff for the new baby. A new toy or shirt or just something to show the first one isn't being replaced.
I think the bad feelings come when a first child is forgotten in the new baby excitement.
2006-10-04 09:44:52 · answer #3 · answered by fairly smart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is ridiculous when you consider the millions of children who have already gone through this and end up loving their brother or sister a great deal. Just make sure to include the older one in making small decisions and bring home a gift for them from the hospital so they don't feel left out. Let them choose a middle name and that will always be a special bond between the two children. Providing its not too outlandish. Good luck.
2006-10-04 09:41:07 · answer #4 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My cousin had this happen to her..She was breastfeeding and on the pill and still got pregnant and her 2 are now less then a year a part. She is a great mom..she works goes to school and manages to have a life. Both her kids are very happy and I don't ever see any hostility between them at all..I fact they get along so well if one is not in the room when the other is they have to search the house looking for one another! Your friend is a moron and please don't listen to her...Your kids will be just fine....Just love them and they will be fine!!!
2006-10-04 11:32:22 · answer #5 · answered by Jesabel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two girls who are 1 yr and 2days apart. I got pregnant when my oldest was 3 months. Thankfully my pregnancy wasn't that bad and I was able to enjoy my daughter's milestones and first birthday. I was concerned at first because my oldest seemed to hate the baby while we were in the hospital but after we got home she adapted fine. She still has her days but that's understandable. Now my girls are 14 months and 2months old. My oldest is a big help. If the baby cries she gets the bottle off the couch for me, she even tries to feed her sister sometimes. And she loves to hold her baby sister, for short periods of time. You just have to be patient and show them that your love has not changed. Congats and good luck.
2006-10-04 10:36:18 · answer #6 · answered by bvml 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the kid, but I've only seen kids close in age love having a baby sibling and be really close.
Your friend is being kind of an azz. What experience do they have that would qualify them to give this assessment? If their kids are like that, maybe it's not the kids but the parent? It's too late now, isn't it, so why not be supportive? Tell them to change their negative, un-useful attitude or they don't need to hang around anymore. That kind of attitude is what affects your kids.
2006-10-04 09:42:02 · answer #7 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At a year old, your firstborn probably doesn't even have the necessary socialization and mental faculties to have any sibling rivalry. By the time he is, he'll be used to his little bro/sis anyway.
I don't think it's possible to generalize about the relationship between siblings - some get along great, some don't. But I don't think being close in age could hurt too much - it's nice to have someone your own age to play with.
2006-10-04 09:41:16 · answer #8 · answered by astazangasta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My children are 15 months apart and I have never noticed either one to be hostile towards me. With them being so close it was nice. Sometimes it was very hard and I never felt like I had enough time for each one individually but it all kind of worked itself out. Now they are great together and have to be together all the time.
2006-10-04 11:13:00 · answer #9 · answered by Angela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not true. My oldest two children were 10 months apart and they cannot be any closer. They are now 21 and 20.
There will be some jealousy in the beginning. Just make sure that you let your first born know how much you love them.
2006-10-04 09:35:56 · answer #10 · answered by saved_by_grace 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i was four weeks pregnant with a ten month old at home. they are now best friends he is three and the new one is almost two. he loves having his little brother. just remember to include the older one in everthing from names to dr visits ( not the graphic one of coarse but the ultersounds and the heartbeats) then have him pick out a special blanket for the baby not a toy that may be a fight. have him help you get bottles and diapers for the new baby. and call the baby his sister or brother so he feels proud. have him help with the bath and remember to make him feel that you still love him. including him in all this will make him feel that he is as much a part of this new baby as you and your husband are. i learned this from my mother who had my brother and i 11 months apart. it worked for her and for me i hope it works for you too.
2006-10-04 09:46:00 · answer #11 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋