I think this one is good, but you'll only get it if you live in England (most parts)
'Why are Indians crap at football?
Coz everytime they get a corner.... they open a shop!'
lol! that's gold.
2006-10-04 02:29:39 · 34 answers · asked by jewl 32 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I'm Irish! OK?
Paddy goes into a car dealer with £40 looking for a runner.
Dealer "You'll get nothing for that. £40 would hardly fill a tank"
Paddy: "Are you sure there's absolutely nothing that drives?
Dealer: "Well" There is a yoke out back that drives, and it's standing me almost nothing. You can have it for £40. There's even a drop of petrol in the tank. The catch is it has no doors. Is that a problem?"
Paddy " Jazes! That's even worse than useless!"
Dealer "How come?"
Paddy " Well how the hell can I get into it if it has no doors?"
2006-10-04 02:40:34 · answer #1 · answered by SouthOckendon 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Dont worry about racism... It is true also....and yes, old is gold...
After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old codger decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the city’s stores, he picked up a mirror and looked in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, “How about that! Here’s a picture of my daddy.”
He bought the “picture,” but on the way home remembered that his wife, Lizzy, didn’t much like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.
The man’s many trips to the barn began to draw Lizzy’s suspicion. One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, “So that’s the ugly ***** he’s runnin’ around with.”
2006-10-04 04:23:28 · answer #2 · answered by Electric 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
When Paul McCartney and Heather Mills were married, he bought her a plane for Christmas... Apparently he wanted 4 inches taken off.
2006-10-04 07:10:45 · answer #3 · answered by Ben N 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are my best jokes...enjoy!!
How can you tell when a Pakistani goes from boyhood to manhood?
They take the diaper off his @ss & put it on his head!!
What do you call a black priest?
Holy $hit!!
What is the difference between a pizza & a black man?
A pizza can feed a family of 5!!
What do you call 4 Mexicans standing in quicksand?
Quatro sinko!
What is the worst thing you can call a black man that starts with an "N" and ends with an "R"?
Neighbor!!
Hope those made you laugh!! (-:
2006-10-04 02:50:47 · answer #4 · answered by smarteepants 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Two bats are going for their midnight feed.
After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"
The second bat replies, "Follow me. I`ll show you."
After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"
The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"
Other bat says, "I didn't."
Have a nice day!
2006-10-04 06:01:49 · answer #5 · answered by Proto 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Three-third graders, an Irish kid, an Italian kid and a
Hillbilly kid are on the playground at recess. One of them suggests that
they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest weenie," he says.
"Okay." They all agree.
The Irish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out.
"That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His
is a couple of inches longer.
Not to be outdone, the Hillbilly kid whips his out. It is by
far the biggest.
That night, eating dinner at home, the Hillbilly kid's mother
asks him what he did at school today. "Oh, we worked on a science
project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ... and
during recess, my friends and I played 'Let's see who has the largest
weenie."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" asks the mother.
"Well, me, Anthony and Patrick each pulled out our weenies
and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm a
Hillbilly. Is that that true Mom?
Mom replies, "No, Honey. It's because you're twenty-three."*
2006-10-04 02:51:28 · answer #6 · answered by ~Shy~Girl~ 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
man walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder and orders a drink, barman says whats with the frog, man says this is a very intelligent frog, barman says what does it do, man says its a **** sucking frog and asKes barman if he wants to try it, yes says the barman and sticks it down his pants, soon he comes to a climax and says that's fantastic do you want to sell him, no says the man, go on says the barman i will give you £200 man refuses £300 man says OK, that night barman takes the frog home his wife is in the kitchen she says what have you got there he says its an intelligent frog and gives it to her, she says what do you want me to do with it, he says TEACH IT TO COOK AND YOU CAN **** OFF
2006-10-04 09:39:48 · answer #7 · answered by compo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Latest craze with clubbers is to fill young women's vagina's with vodka and drink it out with a straw......experts are now warning peeps about minge drinking
2006-10-07 21:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by bojan1976@btinternet.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Barry Manilow walked into a brick wall with a full erection..............
He still broke his nose
After the Pope has said mass at the Vatican, his right hand man comes to him and says, Your Holiness, in order to save the Church and all that it stands for, you as head of the Catholic Church must make love to a beautiful woman.
I will not do this says the Pope, I don't care who sent this message.
Your Holiness, it was signed by the Mafia...................
OK, I'll do it says the Pope but under 4 conditions
And they are your Holiness?
Condition 1, this girl whom I make love to, must be blind, so that she can not see who is defiling her body
Ok she must be blind Your Holiness,
Condition 2, she must be deaf so that she can not hear what is happening to her body this day.
OK, she must be deaf Your Holiness,
Condition 3, she must be dumb so that she can not tell the world about this,
OK, she must be dumb, and the 4th condition Your Holiness.......
Oh she can hava bigga ****, a bigga **** like that, a bigga **** a boom da boom, boom
2006-10-04 03:23:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
What is the difference between a man and a bird?
.....A man can't whistle thru his pecker.
Why does the Avon lady walk with a limp?
.....Because her lips stick.
2006-10-04 02:56:03 · answer #10 · answered by CJBig 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋