My 8 year old acts like she's 2 and I can't get any help for her-Any suggestions.I think it's cos she is attention seeking and no-matter how much I give her it's never enough.
She can paddy for 9 hours solid.
I've been everywhere for help
And she has been like this since birth.
No-one listens they say it's cos of this or that.
I was in a violent relationship but no-one gets it that she was like this before I met him.
I held her a lot as a baby and I think that may be the reason.
Any suggestions.cos I'm tired and she hits me.
2006-10-04 01:07:26 · 14 answers · asked by Elle J Morgan 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Please note to the person that left the last comment WAS in a violent relationship WAS means past tense.I was with him a year she's 8 he didn't make her that way.
2006-10-04 19:51:49 · update #1
How old are the other children? Have you spoke to your child's doctor? It may be due to jealousy of the little ones or maybe there is a medical reason for how she acts. I would talk to her doctor and maybe take her to see a child psychologist. They can begin to help her with her anger. Teach her ways to control it. They can also show you ways to deal with your frustration with her and the situation. But for now i would say use punishment. Put her in her room take out any electronics that may be in there (TV. game boy or anything like that) if she keeps acting out keep her in there and start taking other favorite toys to put on time out. This is how i delt with my 8 yr olds tantrums. He has ADHD and hasn't started medication. But has become more controllable with temper since he knows mama and dad aren't playing around. So punishment in her room with only the option to read or do extra school work. hope i have helped in some way.Just stick with it it doesn't work the first time but as time goes on you should notice an improvement.
2006-10-04 01:24:49 · answer #1 · answered by four2love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had two daughters 20 months apart and at first the older one used to paddy a bit and she did things like wanting to go back into nappies and have a bottle again. I put it down to the fact that she had had me to herself for 20 months and now she was having to share me with her sister. She had been my sole focus and had 100% of my time and was reacting because she was having to wait sometimes.
You do not say how old your other child/children are, or how many you have, but as she is 8, could you try to speak to her on your own without all the others there? She is of an age where you can speak to her as she is more grown up than the others. What is it that's bugging her? I suspect that she may feel that she doesn't get enough of your attention although you may feel that you spend all your time dealing with her temper tantrums! Can you schedule some small amount of time each day (I know it's hard with the other kids, the house, mealtimes, shopping etc) but even half an hour would be good to listen solely to her? What did she do at school today? Did she learn anything new? Make any new friends? Hear something funny?
Could you do something with only her at the weekend? Go swimming/shopping/buy an ice cream/go to the swings/go to dance club/get your hair cut together/buy ingredients for the evening meal/go to the library and read together/do some gardening, whatever floats your boats, but just you and her on your own for a while.
I appreciate that it's hard and time consuming and you probably don't feel like doing it but we all need a bit of our partner's/parent's/friend's undivided attention once in a while and you may re-discover the enjoyment and closeness I'm sure you once shared.
Good luck. :-)
2006-10-04 08:25:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a shame for you. I have 4 children, each one with their own needs. I think my first born and my last born are the most demanding and every day brings a new emotion, tantrum or drama. Your daughter is at an important stage in her life where your actions and responses to her behaviour will play the most imporatant part in her future. Please dont let her hit you any more, you are encouraging her to be a bully . Does she behave ok at school or when she is with other adults? The key to solving both yourproblems is talking, not arguing, hitting or shouting. Try doing something fun together like painting each others nails and doing each others hair and talk about your feeling and hers at this time so it doesnt seem as though your nagging
2006-10-04 08:24:54 · answer #3 · answered by red 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My nearly 3 year old son certainly does demand more than my 6 month old baby son, and shows it in a variety of ways.
Just today he started to try to hit the baby for no reason, other than being tired, and not being the centre of atttention. I think that is the core issue for a first born, that they are having to adjust to less attention, and naturally seem to compensate when they feel they dont get enough attention!
2006-10-04 09:00:21 · answer #4 · answered by ANITA K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if you are not happy, then your little girl wont be either. Fair enough she has been like this since birth but watching an abusive relationship cant be helping. God if you cant walk away from an abusive man for yourself please do it for your child. You have to have more discipline for your daughter. Dont let her get away with everything. My best advice is to watch supernanny. Or even try one of her books. One is called "ask supernanny". She has dealt with alot of children similar to your daughter. Good luck and once again, dont stay in a violent relationship. You both deserve better.
2006-10-04 17:42:51 · answer #5 · answered by Teresa M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8 year old girls are like 4 or 5 year old boys, they need strict discipline. I have girls ages 3, 7, and 9. when my 9 year old starts acting like a little 2 year old, I pull down her pants, put her over my lap and give her a spanking like a 2 year old. Girls seem to be angels when they are 3-7, 8 starts to get ugly, if you don't stop it 9 will be worse. We no longer have issues with my oldest now.
Just holding my breath hoping my 7 year old doesn't hit that stage.
Good Luck, my ways are old school, but they work!!
2006-10-04 09:17:40 · answer #6 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she needs a lot of positive attention from you for doing good things and you should ignore the tantrums etc. If she hits you, she needs to be punished by being sent to her room or something similar appropriate to her.
My older girl is better behaved than the younger one, but it took a lot of patience and 'training' to get her to be like it. The younger one still sometimes screams and hits me for attention and I don't respond to that but wait for her to ask properly.
I hope that is a bit of help (and btw I'm sure the violent relationship didn't help but it isn't the cause either).
2006-10-04 08:38:45 · answer #7 · answered by meday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get this under control and fast. Its one thing if she wants attention it is another if she is hitting you. You dont want her to be 16, hitting you and running the house. You need to start a little dicipline. Try go to your room. If she doesnt go then you take her in there. She is 8 so she can understand why hitting is not appropriate. Maybe she should talk to a counsler.
2006-10-04 08:16:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, my first born is very serene and well behaved. My second born is more of a handful, however. I wish I could be more help.
2006-10-04 08:18:40 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sudgest that if she is mean to you or screaming that you lock her in her room for 10 mins at a time to show that you dont take no **** and if that does not work then threaten addoption maybe!!!
2006-10-04 08:11:35 · answer #10 · answered by damien r 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋