Why do parents excuse their children's bad behavior?

Question

There was a case here in South Florida where 3 teenagers beat a homeless man to death with baseball bats. When one of the teens' mother was on the witness stand in court, she said that her son was a "good kid" who was probably influenced by his friends.
Why do parents do this? Why do they take responsibility away from their children and admit that what they did was completely wrong? In the video they showed on TV of this man getting beaten, it sure looked like her son was having a good time.

Answer 1

Heck if that were my son, I ask the judge to throw the book at him. But then again these kids don't get this way on accident.

Answer 2

I guess to admit that heir son had fun doing that is to admit to a failure i themselves. Personally I had a son get a DUI at 17 and I did not make an excuse for him other than an extenuating circunstance due to the fact the he was getting his car beat up, otherwise he would not have driven. But I still maintained that what my son had done was wrong and that I apologized to the court I had had a hard time with him and dad was not helping . I stated hedid the crime he has to do the time. I did ask for a littel leniency as I did truly feel that he had learned his lesson. He recieved almost full punishement the only thingthye shortened were his days in Juvenile detention by 3 days. I feel better for msking him pay the price he had learned his lesson and to this day has not done it again.8 years later. We have to stp making excuses for our children when they do wrong it is not good for them.

Answer 3

To accept a childs bad behaviour, is to admit that you didnt do the best possible job you could do in raising that child, or didnt discipline that child enough to discourage the behaviour used.

The Governments and do gooders need to accept some blame for the things some people do also, as children now hold far too much control over their parents.....A little discipline never hurt anyone, and todays kids certainly need it.

Answer 4

I can only guess that the love parents have for their children sheild their eyes from the wrongdoings they commit, and that in your example this mother couldnt see the bad actions her son had made as stemming from him. What parent could handle that? Can you continue loving your child when you know they are 'happy' to commit an atrocity such as this?
Also, the parent might feel they are to blame for not properly educating their child the difference between right and wrong. And in our society we are first apt to blame someone or something else than take a lot at ourselves and see the mistakes we have made.

Answer 5

I don't make excuses for my child's behavior. Those parents who do, just can't help themselves. They only see the good in their children and refuse to admit that anything about them is wrong. Proper parenting should be balanced. If you don't see the bad in your children, how will you help them understand and change it. The parents are the adults and should be the ones to know right from wrong. If children don't understand that what they did was wrong then how can they become better people. Covering up for our children will only teach them to ignore or run away from their mistakes.

Answer 6

It depends on the child's age. when they are able to know the difference between right and wrong they are responsible for their actions.
my son (at the time was 17) had friends over when he was not supposed to, they had been drinking at a party, one of the friends threw a rock across the street and broke my neighbours window. My son freaked when I told him it was my son's responsibility to pay for it , I explained that if his friends were over when he was not to have friends over then it's his fault. If they weren't there it would of never happened . i was trying to help my son realize that he is old enough to understand that he has to think about everything that happens to him could have a negative out come and only he can avoid that negative outcome.

Answer 7

come on - what do u expect a mother to do?? stand up and say - "yep people - my son is a murderous bastard that u should give the death penalty to". she is his MOTHER. he is in court facing a murder charge!! any mother would want to try to protect her child. i expect nothing different - parents arent objective by nature - this is why we have impartial jury's who decide the fate of accused people.
i agree tho, that parents must let their kids take responsibility for their actions - i just think u chose a really bad example to demonstrate that.

Answer 8

I don't know why some patents do that, My children are 7 and 4 and even now I pull them up on things. If that was my child I would have kicked their A-- . Parents that do that are pathetic and should raise Their children to treat people the way that they want to be treated. I live in Australia and we have had a similar incident and it makes my skin crawl to think that parents would turn the other cheek on that sort of behavior.

Answer 9

When raising children all training starts in the home if you grow up not being taught right from wrong you won't know the difference. Respect is taught from someone you admire. If you can't admire Your parents than i don't know who you can.

Answer 10

Of course she should of said what he did was totally wrong.But,alot of times kids do things because of friends.One bad apple can spoil the whole bunch.As a parent you have to watch the company your kids keep.Bad company, corrupts good morals.