Anti English Jokes anyone????

Question

I need some anti-english jokes or jokes that show the english in a bad light.
For example:
Q - How many englishman does it take to stop a train?
A - NOT ENOUGH

Answer 1

As a Welshman, this doesn't offend me in the least. So there!

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

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RE:
Anti English Jokes anyone????
I need some anti-english jokes or jokes that show the english in a bad light.
For example:
Q - How many englishman does it take to stop a train?
A - NOT ENOUGH

Answer 4

Racist English Jokes

Answer 5

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Answer 6

A Welshman an Englishman and a Pakistani man are all waiting in the maternity unit waiting room, when a doctor comes in and says to all three, "Congratulations ! your wives have given birth and you all have sons... But there is a problem as we seem to have lost all the name tags for them.." At this the Welshman rushes out and into the nursery and quickly grabs the little Pakistani baby and walks back into the waiting room with it in his arms.... The Englishman and Pakistani man both say to him "You have made a mistake , you obviously have the wrong baby...!! "...At this , the Welshman replies " Sorry boys ..i can't take any chances ...as one of those is going to grow up to be English !!"..

Answer 7

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Answer 8

The only anti-English joke i know is the one where I can't actually refer to myself as English because it might make me look like a racist.

Answer 9

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub
together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they
were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each
of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.
The Scotsman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The Irishman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued
drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Englishman too , picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over
the beer and then started yelling "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU
BASTARD!!!!"

There's an English man, Irish man and a Scotsman. They're being chased
by a policeman. They see this old warehouse so they run in. Inside
there are 3 empty sacks on the floor. They each jump in a sack. In
comes the copper and see's these three bundles on the floor. Goes up to
the first one and kicks it. The Scotsman shout out, "Woof Woof", and
the copper thinking it's just an old dog leaves it and kicks the second
sack. The Irishman yells out, "Me-ow me-ow", he leaves this one as well
thinking its just an old cat. He walks over to the last sack and kicks
it, and the Englishman yells out.. "Potatoes Potatoes..!"

Answer 10

I like a good joke but half of these can hardly be described as being Anti English. They're just jokes which can apply to anyone and you guys have just switched the main character to being English.

So far in my eyes Christopher is winning (that Siamese twins one is good). Let's have ones that actually only apply to the British please.

Answer 11

Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made. But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cab.

Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment,along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

NASA's response was just one sentence "Thaw the chicken."