I have three best friends, one I have known since the 5th grade and we have not seen eachother in a couple of years, but we keep in touch with emails weekly, one I have been friends with for about 5 years, and one I have only known for about a year. I realy want one of them to be my maid of honor, the one I have known about a year, but do you think that the others feelings would be hurt if I did not choose them? How would you feel if somone got chosen over you??
2006-10-03 22:41:57 · 21 answers · asked by Megan G 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No matter who you choose, someone will be hurt. Most likely, though, they will have more tact than to approach you about it. Hopefully, they can still be bridesmaids?
A maid of honor has to help you out. How much help is up to you. My maid of honor went to look at dresses with me, helped me stuff invitations and make favors, planned my shower and bachelorette party, and spent a lot of time listening to me complain about things. I think the maid of honor has to be someone who is accessible to you and who will be the most support.
The girl you communicate to through emails probably doesn't expect to be maid of honor. If you don't see each other anymore, its unlikely to think that she'll be able to go dress shopping with you or help with much. Now you just have to decide between the other two.
2006-10-04 02:56:55 · answer #1 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar predicament when i was planning my wedding and I choose the friend that I have know the longest and she was by far my best choice. She stepped up to the plate and help me in ways that I never thought possible. She moved from Philadelphia to North Carolina about 16 years ago, we lost touch for about 2 years but managed to find each other and although we may not see each other very often we communicate via email, phone, letters, pictures etc. It's hard that she is so far away because we always said that e would raise our children together but we remained good friends and I am glad that she is still a part of my life. Bottom line it is your day so do what you feel is best.
2006-10-03 23:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by juicie813 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well being on the other side of this( being the best friend that wasnt chose) i can tell u my heart was compleatly broken. i it was the worst feeling ever ( my situation was different my best friend of 17 years (yep since 5th grade also) pick her cousin over me.) but if u ask them all to be in ur wedding and give them a reason you pick the other one i think if theyare truely ur best friends they will understand. they know u can only pick one maid of houner. DO NOT PICK SOMEONE OUT OF GUILT!. i have come to terms with my situation because i love my best friend more than anything and what her to be happy and im sure your friends will feel the same! ( where my friend messed up is that she never said y i found out from her wedsite on the knot that i wasnt the maid of honor. that hurt like hell. for a month i assumed i was. so make ur desion and dont delay telling them
2006-10-04 06:54:24 · answer #3 · answered by angelface8074 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your wedding, pick whomever you wish. If want the others in the wedding have them just be regular bridesmaids. I'm pretty sure the one you haven't seen since 5th grade would understand. Of course you have your own reasons for picking whoever you pick, but if the others have a problem with it just do what I did with mine. Tell them you picked a friend that has more of an open schedual since the maid of honor has so much to do, and you didn't want to burdon their busy lives. Its an understandable thing.
2006-10-04 01:33:59 · answer #4 · answered by masterdvrsgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relieved. Remember that being maid of honor at a wedding is a major expense in time and money both. Add to that the fact that I do not have the shape to look good up there in front of God and everybody, and you find that loyalty to old friends may involve recognizing when they would rather not have the honor.
The one you keep in touch with by email: has she said she expects to be picked for the role? Have any of them?
2006-10-03 22:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by auntb93again 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had 3 months to plan my wedding and six bridesmaids (2 of which were my sisters and 1 was a cousin). I picked a friend that I had known for about 2 years to be my MOH. I called my sisters and cousin first and explained that since we were in such a time crunch I was choosing the friend who lived closest to my house. They were actually quite happy they weren't responsible for the coordination of everything and everyone was very supportive. Communication will go a long way in these situations....
Good luck & many congrats & well wishes!!!!
2006-10-03 22:54:06 · answer #6 · answered by Kristi C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my sister married, she didn't want her best friend of over 10 years to be offended by not being chosen, especially since my sis was her maid of honor. So the easiest fix was for her to make me the m.o.h., and her friend couldn't be offended, obviously. I can honestly say that if my best friend chose another friend over me I would be pretty hurt. If you have a sister or cousin you can easily proclaim the m.o.h. that's probably the safest way to go.
2006-10-03 22:47:28 · answer #7 · answered by APRDTH 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you go with your heart and choose who you want too. No-one has the right to be offended in this day and age. All three can play a vital role in your wedding, and one just has a title. I think if you don't choose the one you want you will regret it. I'm getting married in five weeks and have three bridesmaids, all great friends, I dislike the whole term bridesmaids and explained to them I didn't want to put anyone of them ahead of the other. I asked them all to be in it, therefore in my opinion they're all as important as the other! We've had great fun organising everything from the hens weekend to the honeymoon! (and yep they're coming)!!! I honestly wouldn't care at all if someone was asked over me! People should just be honoured to be in it and not have pre-conceived expectations.
2006-10-04 04:14:58 · answer #8 · answered by lazy lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line is that it is your wedding. I would try to find significant positions for the other two friends however. The others you do not see on a regular basis, so they are not as up to date on your life and tastes. If their feelings do get hurt, they should never tell you. To grumble over this would show a lack of class and good breeding.
2006-10-03 22:44:43 · answer #9 · answered by nik named mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar situation. What I plan to do is have all three as bridesmaids. None of them will be considered my maid of honor. It just seems easier then choosing.
2006-10-03 23:00:59 · answer #10 · answered by Kelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋