I have been with my boy for four years. He proposed last night, and I said no, cause I needed more time to think about it.
The thing is, before I started dating my boyfriend, I was in love/lust with another guy named Jake. I knew him two years before my boyfriend. He is so amazing in every single way, but due to a dumb decision on my part I went for my boyfriend instead. Now I love my boyfriend, I want to be with him a long time. But, I talk to Jake again, and I regret ever leaving him. He wants us to hang out, but it's going to take a lot of restraint, even though we're friends still.
Plus, I have sex dreams about him every night for the past week... it does not help and I wake up sad. I love both, but I NEED to stay with my boyfriend. My question is. How do I forget about Jake? We're friends so I would hate to stop talking to him altogether. I stopped talking to him for 3 days and it helped but I missed him as a friend
2006-10-03 21:59:25 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If these are your feelings about Jake, then definitely do not marry your boyfriend. Also, if Jake feels the same way about you, why not give it another shot? Maybe then you will remeber why you picked your current boyfriend over him.
2006-10-03 22:04:42 · answer #1 · answered by DLUVDAIMPERIAL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit dating altogether for a while. I would suggest about six months.
Develop other interests. Read. Travel. Work. If this seems hard your present situation is also hard. You need to back off and get some perspective.
Once you have done that you will find you either prefer one of these two men or that you would be better off with a different man altogether. But you can't do that now because you are too close to the situation.
There are different kinds of love, and sex doesn't play the lead role in all of them. The best lover may not be the best husband. And the best husband may not be the best lover. But you can't have both, unless you want a very dysfunctional life.
And you don't want that, do you?
2006-10-04 05:27:40 · answer #2 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you NEED to stay with your boyfriend, i'm not sure why this might be the case. I suggest that you go out somewhere with Jake, not a date as such, just two friends hanging out. If you feel there is something still there, don't act on it, instead, give some serious thought to breaking up with your current boyfriend. It WILL be harsh on your boyfriend, but you must do what you think is best for you, staying with someone you feel is second best for you, will only lead to problems further down the line when you begin to resent your partner and the situation you find yourself in.
2006-10-04 05:05:36 · answer #3 · answered by Patrick M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is in on a lot of hurt coming from you, you have to go back when why you chose him over Jake...there must be something that stood out. Why would you say it was a dumb decision, and if it was you could have broken up with him early on right?
Well, you have to ask for space from both of them...see who in the end would weigh more in your heart. Who do you love? Who you only lust for? Because love will go on for a long time, while lust will never last.
I know you don't want to hurt either of them, but you just have to choose one to love and be with for a long time.
Take your time, don't be in a hurry to decide becaue if you do, in the end you might just say once again you made a dumb decision.
2006-10-04 05:13:25 · answer #4 · answered by firedragon_luver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, U have to make ur mind up, U have 2 ways concerning this situation: u either stay meeting new guys all the time, and fall into them, or u decide to dedicate ur life for 1 person and u commit to it. Its ur choice, Its a matter of arranging priorities. And this Friendship thing with Jake is an execuse u give ur self to meet him, So Eventually its What is No.1 Priority?????
2006-10-04 05:09:40 · answer #5 · answered by heartbreaker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is the answer to everything. All you ever need is love,
communication and understanding. That's what I figured out so
far. If you are down, you need to get up and start doing something with
your life. Don't need to be shy, be straight forward and allways say what
you want and expect from the others.
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2006-10-04 07:03:02 · answer #6 · answered by b b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take your time if ur not ready your not ready in the meantime just stick with him he seems like he really loves you..and as far as jake ,, does jake really love you?
2006-10-04 05:00:52 · answer #7 · answered by ~*~ Stormy Weather~*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One's got a birthday...it's in December
Or is it July...I can't remember
One love at a time...That's all I can handle
If I was you I would stop seeing them both. In time you will have your answer.
2006-10-04 05:05:35 · answer #8 · answered by no nickname 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know it is hard question=)I think you must be with your boy but with Jack(like a friend) too..maybe after some month you will know who is better..maybe you will not like Jack or boy for some of his likes=)
2006-10-04 05:05:02 · answer #9 · answered by Nargiz_S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you feel as though you love him... but you dont... tell yourself that you have someone else now... and u love him..
2006-10-04 05:01:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋