Okay? Ive been with my boyfriend for four years, I'm in early twenties tonight he proposed earlier and I said no, just cause Im not ready? I dont feel like it, I feel young and want to have fun and definintely not have kids yet. Am I normal..../
2006-10-03 20:51:11 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sure - but just know that getting married does not mean you can't stay young and have fun and it also does not mean that you have to have kids. Many couples get married and spend a few years traveling, etc - to make sure that they work out before they bring a kid into it.
Many women are annoyed and hurt by their boyfriends if after too long of a time period the guy does not propose - like four years.. women figure then he never will and may even move on.. So - I was thinking that it might not be what you think it is since all of the details you mentioned - you could fulfill in a marriage as well. Consider that it might be him - you might not want to marry him. If you don't want to know - will you ever want to - what would change that would make you say yes?
Just a thought
Your feelings are your own so don't worry about the choice you made - better to say no than to say yes and then change your mind - that would be more difficult I think ~ on both of you.
:o)
2006-10-03 20:58:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, don't fret about it! Its absolutely fine. If you're not ready, then you're not! If you guys are really for each other then whats a few years of waiting? Besides, a guy who loves you will wait. I guess what you should do right now to is reassure him that you said no because you are not ready for the pressures of having children and other financial stuff. You can also add that you want to relish your relationship with him in a more fun, carefree set up where all you two have worry about is where your next date will be...isn't that so much better? Take care and good luck!
2006-10-04 04:49:23 · answer #2 · answered by stormsandblues 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not only totally normal, but made a wise decision. Four years is about 2 1/2 years longer than you need to know whether you want to marry someone. Give him a chance to move on and meet someone who is ready for marriage. Enjoy being single while you are young. If you don't, you will regret it and will get restless if you marry before you're ready. Good for you that you are honest about it and aren't letting him or anyone else pressure you into marriage.
2006-10-04 04:01:46 · answer #3 · answered by LadyLgl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not ready, then you're not ready. There is nothing wrong with that. But apparently he is, and that might put a strain on your relationship. He will probably become tired of waiting for you, and your relationship will end. Not many relationships can survive after a proposal was refused.
Talk to him about it. Maybe he doesn't want kids yet? Marriage can still be fun and can be childless.
2006-10-04 09:59:03 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you, how I admire you for your honesty. I agree with you that you are far too young to have kids, I'm unsure as to whether I think you are too young to marry the right person, by that I mean someone you truly love and also wants to have fun and adventures with you, my guess is that your boyfriend isn't really the one for you. Your twenties is the time to be carefree and spontaneous, to travel and do all the things that won't be as much fun once you have children. Be happy and keep smiling.
2006-10-04 05:24:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Normal" is one of those relative terms, but you're not the first to feel this way. If you're not ready or not sure, then it's better not to enter into something that you are not committed to.
Marriage is a HUGE decision, with (supposedly) a lot of compromise on both sides to make it work. And yes, it is work. No matter how much twp persons think that they "love" each other, the blissful feelings fade in time, and then it comes down to commitment, compassion, and love of something greater than yourself or your own desires.
I personally would want a prospective mate to attend Church with me before we get married. People change over time, but God does not. How can one stay committed to someone who will change? Much easier to stay committed to one that does not, and fulfill your marriage vows as a testament to Him.
2006-10-04 03:58:30 · answer #6 · answered by L96vette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya, you're normal. I think you made a good choice. You're still young. Take your time. Things will work out the best that way. You can always marry down the road if that's something he and you really want to do.
2006-10-04 03:57:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your normal. You could of said Yes but not set a date until your ready to settle down you could of had a long engagment.
He must be feeling like a real ediot now.
Are you guys still together or did you end the relationship?
2006-10-04 03:56:51 · answer #8 · answered by lollypop_za 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. 4 years is a long time and the guy isn't the right one for you. Being married doesn't equate to having babies or not having fun. It's about a commitment to each other which you are unable to make.
2006-10-04 03:54:40 · answer #9 · answered by Scott K 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well four years is a long time to be with someone!!
Theres's nothing wrong with not being ready to be married but just because you get married doesn't mean you have to have kids and not have any more fun you just get to have fun with someone for life!
Don't think of it as giving up freedom and all that bull Just think of it someone to have fun with for many years to come!!
2006-10-04 10:44:58 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋