my sister is bi-sexual and cuts...what should I do as a big sister? Help please!?

Question

My little sister, who is 17, has been cutting herself for about a year now. She is in therapy, but is now quitting. She had a drug overdose about 5 months ago and now has a food disorder. She listens to hard metal and wears really dark eye makeup and wears only while and black striped clothing, or just black. She is depressed ALL the time. We are pretty close, she tells me everything. She doesn't get along well with our mom, they fight constantly. She just told me that she is bi-sexual and that she really doesn't want to stop cutting herself becuase she feels it's a part of who she is. How should I react to that. I tried to be supportive of her decisions to be bi right off but told her I would rather she wasn't. I've tried to get her help for all her problems but I work 24/7 and can't be there for her as much as she needs. My parents aren't doing anything about it....what help can I offer as a big sister? Any advice would help...thanks :)

Answer 1

i had 2 teenage sons one wore makeup and used drugs he grew out of it my youngest was a cutter too we had to get him forcably locked up in hospital for a few days i doubt you can do that in yuor country what she craves is attention and love from your parents start by talking to them also try to find her a friend even if she is gay tell her you would die if anything happend to her and that you love her no matter what hug her show her you are not ashamed of her try to get her friend to get her out of the house to go somewhere each day this is probably the hardest thing to get them out of just remember your her sister not her keeper very very hard for you to do much else if you believe in god a pray might help ask god to surround her with his guardian angels and keep her safe.

Answer 2

The only thing you can do is be there for her. Your sister is a young woman and not a child, it is up to her to want help and as you say she is quitting then she is not ready at this point. Cutting actually is a way some people handle stress and feel good, it's a very complex problem. Alot of people always give the simple answer to get help, counseling etc. Problem is you can not force a person to do so against their will they have to want it for themselves, it's just an easy answer to a complex problem people give because they do not know what to say. As far as her sexual life that is not even an issue, she is free to be whatever she wants to be. What you can offer as an older sister is to be someone she can talk to in confidence and someone who helps to relieve stress in her life not add to it.

Answer 3

Do your parents know that she is bi? If they don't a good resource to help them, you, and your sister is PFLAG. Parents Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. My son is gay and is active with PFLAG. Check out their website too. www.pflag.org
Click on Get Support and FAQ Answers to 15 questions that often come up when a family member or friend tells you that they are GLB or T. Gay,Lesbian, Bi or Transgender. You also could contact them about what to do in your situation about your sister cutting herself. My thought is that if she cuts herself wrong one time, that may be all it will take. PFLAG does have meetings and they are a loving and accepting organization. You might think about your sister and you going to a meeting. But I would suggest that you contact them first and have them send you some of their reading materials. You can leave the materials in the bathroom if your parents need something to read. That is what I did for my husband before he found out about our son. Your sister "came out" to you. And that is a big deal to your sister. Though you may not believe it is an acceptable lifestyle, remember that she is the same person she was before she told you. Your sister. It takes alot of courage for someone to come out to a loved one. You sound like you are a very loving sister. And you are concerned about her welfare. You have alot coming at you right now. Stay accepting and love your sister, there is help available out there. I really do suggest you check out PFLAG.

Answer 4

I believe someone or some group of people is influencing her with all of this. there is nothing wrong with metal music, wearing dark coloured clothes or make-up. A lot of people are doing it cause everyone follow a certain youth culture when they are young, but cutting yourself up and overdosing on drugs is something no one in the right frame of mind would do. Check out who and where she likes to hang out and spend more time with your sister and motivate her. That's what elder siblings should do.

Answer 5

My sister went through something like that... I understand how tough it is to see someone you love so much go through this pain. It seems like your sister is doing it for her image or because she feels she needs to express herself. If you can, try taking her out for sisterly bonding time, make special times for just you and your sister some ideas might include: regular (friday) night dinners, take an art class, take yoga or kickboxing together (Both AMAZING stress relievers) or even have junk food movie nights.. whatever you love include her. It wont necessarily "fix her" but it will bring you two closer and understand eachother better.

The work thing might be tough but try and fix your schedule to include family time its worth it!

Answer 6

This is a serious medical case which needs uninterrupted supervision of a physician ..Try to convince her to be under a regular advise of a specialists.. At the same time let her come to know many boys of her age , go out with and make friendship with them.

Answer 7

Maybe Ur parents love @ attentions are all she needs thats why she acts @ did that.She cant really handle her situations so do u.Ask some consultant/ doctors for this matter.Maybe u can get ideas .Its a very complicated matter @ u have to move fast

Answer 8

the only solution to it is prayer.. pray for her and ask her also to prayer.. put all your faith in Jesus and pray for his mercy... ask your sister to go for a good confession and to forgive every single person in her life whom she is not able to forgive.. including your parents whom shes not able to accept..

read this particular webpage everyday..

www.activated.org/daily/dailymight.php

under this there is Words from Jesus, Daily Praise, Daily Quote.. read this everyday and you'll get answers to all your worries.. but the main thing is faith and forgiveness... unless your sister forgives and does a good confession.. nothing will help her get out of this mess..

all the best and pray well.. i shall pray for you too

love and graces of Christ Jesus.
Ralph

Answer 9

She needs to continue to get professional help and you are doing the best you can. Keep it up

Answer 10

You really need to talk to your parents and get them to understand how badly she needs help. then try to be there as much as you can for your sister.Maybe take some time to go to therapy with her. Talk to her. Listen to her..................