Am I untouchable?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend since May, and I really care for him deeply. We had a great relationship, even after I was raped in August. However, I was recently diagnosed with herpes (undoubtedly from the bastard who raped me), and my boyfriend is now growing distant. I feel like it's now that I need him the most!!! I say "I love you", and he says stuff like "Me too", or "Thank you". When I lean over to kiss him, he'll turn his head slightly, so I get his cheek instead. We haven't had sex since the first week of Sept, and he stopped sleeping over at my house. I asked him to talk about it, and I told him how I felt, and he says he needs time to decide whether he still wants to be with me or not. I love this man, and I don't want to lose him! What should I do????

Answer 1

You're not untouchable but your boyfriend is human. He obviously either has some serious issues dealing with what happened to you or he screwed around on you and passed herpes to you and is too ashamed to admit it.

The only thing you can do is be yourself and love yourself. Make sure you're healed fully. Your boyfriend needs to do what he feels is right in his heart - if he can't deal with what happened then he obviously isn't going to treat you right.

Answer 2

So sorry about being raped. That is one of the greatest fears for most females... I commend you for moving on with your life to the point that you can have interest in sleeping with your boyfriend after that.

He may be considering you as damaged goods and is not attracted to you as he was before. Give him some time, if he continues to pull away despite all your efforts then you may have lost him forever. He should be supporting you right now because rape is a nightmare experience for a girl.

You are not untouchable. There is a good man for you who will support you and accept you as you are and love you no matter what. Treasure him for that when you have him.

Answer 3

Hi Q, as you can see this is Haloengine..... Itried to contact you but ya dont have any info to reach you. But anyway, I know about the disease herpes pretty well since Ive had sex ed a good number of times andspoke with a prof on the disease. Well there are precautions to take to protect yourself, though its a joint effort. Thats to say thepartner has to be brave enough, smart enough, and willing ( Love) enough to do participate. I know that the virus rests itself at the base of the spine, so I will see what I candig up for you,ok? As for the dude, he knows of your condition as youve said. And if he seems that he wants to drag his feet due to the fact of you having this condition ,paranoia, or hes tired of the relationship. Then you shouldnt be bound to dead weight confront him bare the facts on the table and give him the opions of steps that WILL be taken if change isnt complied. By the way here are some site I go to for health matters:http://www.mercola.com/current_vidupdate20061003.htm You can find all sorts of info from this dude. I am also on My Space I am mark+there. I have a friend that is no holds bar on and against some pharmaceuticals( kills peopleandanimals!) look up my friend list and youll find him. Till then be blessed, strong and of good courage. P.S. Look me up sometime, you seem like someone id befriend.

Answer 4

Wow, that is really a rough bag there. Anyway, you have to confront the fact that he is hurt by this whole thing as well and probably doesn't know how to address the feelings that he has over this whole ordeal. If you are really concerned about staying in a relationship with him, you will have to do whatever you can to get open communications going. At some point in time however, you are going to have to tell this boy that he's either gotta come around or YOU are going to go elsewhere. Tell him that you have had enough pain and don't need his pathetic sulking to go along with it. Once he thinks that you are the one in control of the situation he will open up to the possibility of working through things with you.

Answer 5

well do to the circumstances, he is obviously stand offish because of the Herpes's diagnosis.. Maybe you two should seek relationship counseling and a course on STD's so he can get a better understanding that you can still live a normal life and have a normal sex like given the right precautions are taken..If he is not willing to do those items than I suggest personally you leave the shallow zero and find you a real hero !!!

Answer 6

i'm sry for ur problems u know. first u got raped. then u got herpes. and now, ur f****** bf is leaving u cause u cant satisfy him in bed. i guess he doesnt love u. i guess he just love ur body. u have to prepare for the worst. he will most probably leave u. or should i say dump u. i'm sry if tht happen though. i can be ur friend if u don mind.. if u want to , mail me at [e-mail] . pls tell me who u are so i'll know.. im sry for wats befallen u but, u just have to overcome them. i can help u do so.... if u want me to....

Answer 7

Thats sad. Try going to couples therapy. You at least should go. Also look into treatments. Look it up on line and get as educated about it as you can. Show him you are doing something about it. He probably just needs to be educated about the disease. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

Tell him how you fell if he been with you thru all that is mostly likley stay with you but dont get your hopes up give him time to think like my mom sayz absents makes the heart grow fonder

Answer 9

SO WHAT DO YOU WANT HIM TO DO, ENDANGER HIMSELF AND HAVE SEX WITH YOU? WHAT YOU SHOULD SUGGEST IS YOU GUYS GO TO A DOCTOR AND SEEK INFORMATION ABOUT THE WHOLE THING, JUST TO EDUCATE YOU BOTH ON HOW YOU CAN CATCH AND SPREAD IT. HE STILL LOVES YOU, HE MAY BE A BIT WEARY OF THE DISEASE YOU HAVE. IM SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOU.

Answer 10

I think he is not the right person... if he cant be with you in your bad times its better u let him go..... He is not the right person for u ..