I went out with this guy for 4 months and I had the most amazing time, it was the most perfect relationship but suddenly i got this phone call from him one day saying that he's getting back together with his ex with whom he broke up 2 years back. while er were dating he used to hate her coz she left him but now he says he still loves her. i gave him an option to go back to her and he did. we're still on good terms but dont know if i'm doing the right thing. he says he knows i love him more than that girl but the problem is he loves her more than me.he also says he cant trust his girl because she was the one who left him earlier. i think both of them love each other too much otherwise why would they be back together after 2 years!!! i think i'm just coming in between them but even i love this guy very much. its just too hard to move on. i still want to continue to be with him as a friend but dont know how that's work out. i know complicating things between them.please help!!!
2006-10-03 19:53:28 · 20 answers · asked by Monika 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hmm.. i know there's nothing wrong with talking to your ex but the thing is, how can you move on when you two still tak to each other...? this may be hard for you to do but i think you should not talk to your ex anymore because i know how hard it is to move on and let go esp. when you hear his voice and tell you that he still loves you...
the thing is, why did he get back together with her ex? maybe he loves you too but its pretty much obvious that he still want his ex and he loves his ex more than he loves you... i know, im not in the position to tell you what is the right thing to do... but you deserve to be loved by someone who truly loves you..someone whose not attached to anyone...someone who can give you his whole heart..
i suggest you should not talk to your ex anymore coz you will be the one to suffer in the end... if you're really meant to be, im sure he'll get back to you... but for the meantime, get a life and move on... i know you can make it..its just a matter of time...
2006-10-03 20:04:45 · answer #1 · answered by broken` 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you broke up after four months because he was getting back with his ex, you did not have "the most perfect relationship" no matter how much you enjoyed that time together or thought you did. His priorities are way off base if he loves someone who hurts him and is untrustworthy. Leave him alone and let him discover this on his own. By chasing after him you are closing the door to someone who may truly love you and value you. A friendship with him can come later after you are over the pain he has caused you (that is if you choose that once you realize he left you and told you by way of a phone call rather than in person). Get some confidence and realize you deserve much better.
2006-10-04 02:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by xovenusxo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to be friends with ex lovers. If you both know that it didnt work as lovers for a reason there should be no quandry, but then again some people do not know how to remove sexual undertones from feelings. so you two have to talk it out... You will always have a connection with that person....keeping friends is far better than losing them....Work at it see where it goes. Be positive.
I have to say out of all my realtionships over 80 % of the men are still my very close and dear friends. My husband knows about all of them. and he is fine with it: i was open with him...just keep your communication open and see where it goes.....ramble ramble i go!!!!
2006-10-04 02:58:24 · answer #3 · answered by DOMINATUS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear its stupid to say he is good for u. He is no good for anybody. He is a confused man with a confused mind and trying to confuse u as well. He is no longer trust worthy. He is trying to sail in 2 boats. He has moved with his ex but he is not sure about her so he wants to keep u close so that incase his ex leaves him , he can come back to u. Leave him, u dont deserve such a fool who doesn't know what decision he has to take. He is nothing more than a scared kid always needing someones help. Dont take his mom's place.
2006-10-04 04:02:09 · answer #4 · answered by Believer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need time to get over love before I would suggest trying to be friends. If you don't get over him first you will be too vulnerable to him - more hurt. You can speak to him in passing, but don't spend time with him or have long conversations with him. Think about it - could you trust him now if he got back with you? Also, is he trying to cheat on his ex that he left you for with you? If so, he really can't be trusted!! Move on honey - you don't want to be the one that any man just settled for cause he couldn't have, or trust the one he really loves!! You don't want to feel insecure in your relationship do you? And chances are that even if he leaves her and comes back to you, you won't feel the way you should in a loving relationship - I see many problems with getting back with him. Grieve and move on!!!!!
2006-10-04 03:06:21 · answer #5 · answered by HotSista 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can be a difficult situation, because you care so much about him. But I don't think you should worry about complicating things for "them". She's complicated things for you, really. But I do think you letting him go was a really mature and smart thing to do. Whether or not she hurts him again, letting him go was the only way to go if he still loves her - and doing so gracefully was a very cool move on your part. NOW, he has to be cool towards you as well. I would suggest not calling or getting in contact with him - if he wants to be your friend really, or get back with you, let him contact you - let him do the work. In the meantime, you enjoy yourself, go on dates, and generally don't worry about them. You have your own life, don't let this guy's life become yours. Good luck!
2006-10-04 03:01:58 · answer #6 · answered by starlet_8 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move on. Yes, you can be friends BUT NOT at this point in time where things for them are getting started and your feelings is at peak. It is really hard when you love the person but I admire you for letting him go for someone he loves so much. I can see that what you have for him is unselfish love. That is why I also understand that you don't deserve to be in that kind of mess set-up. I mean, you should also love yourself. being in that situation will hurt you. Even you try to pretend not to, the feelinf is still there. For the meantime, try to keep your distance. Avoid him first. This will really help just to learn to let go of the feelings. And then, make yourself availbale for other goo guys there who can give as much love as you can give them. Pray..just pray. God is there to comfort every sould. He reads every tear that drops..believe that the Lord is preparing that someone for you. Hope this helps. God bless
2006-10-04 03:08:48 · answer #7 · answered by justurangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll never move on and meet someone else until you leave him. And it does not sound like he's coming back to you soon. Remember, you're missing out on all the excellent other people you could be meeting as long as you're caught up in this. You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them! Be happy, spend time with your closest friends, and stop seeing this guy. Eventually you'll meet the right person.
2006-10-04 03:26:45 · answer #8 · answered by Nikhil O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to give yourself time to get over this "sort of betrayal" and to do this you need to stay away from him bcz him telling you he luvs the other chik more isn't helping you... you are way better than that, and as the saying goes the are other fishes in the sea, so go for a swim
you deserve to fall in love again, infact u will fall in love again with some1 who loves you more than the word, JUST TRUST cos we'v all bin there
2006-10-04 03:07:13 · answer #9 · answered by swt chik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, the situation is to messed up. it would be different if things were normal between him and his girl and he knew they were going to last, but hes admitting to you that she might run around on him again and it seems that he only wants to stay connected to you just in case it dont work out with. you are his back up plan just incase she leaves. thats not normal or healthy. he wants your friendship for the wrong reasons
2006-10-04 03:00:45 · answer #10 · answered by kristina n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋