Do you let the man pay the whole bill on a date, let him open doors and move chairs for you, yet whine about equality? How come so many feminists want equality yet when it comes to those they do a back flip. Equality would mean paying half the bill.
Gotta take the good with the bad, ladies.
2006-10-03 19:18:38 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
traingirl I aint angry I was simply asking out of curiousity and its pretty obvious those who answered want it both ways.
2006-10-04 17:37:48 · update #1
It is proper for the person who does the inviting to pick up the bill. This is true for males and females. For the most part, if one person asks another one out someplace, it would be correct for the second person to do the inviting and the paying next time. It is an informal social obligation, if you will. It is not necessary to match dollar for dollar of what each spends on the other.
One should never go through a door and allow it to slam in the face of the person behind them. If I go through a door, I hold it open for the person behind me regardless of gender, age, etc. It's just the kind thing to do, especially if somebody else has their hands full or has a shopping cart with small children, or is handicapped or elderly. Regardless of who holds the door open for whom, the other should always offer a gracious "thank you." Take notice that it works both ways: males & females hold open doors for each other & use polite manners towards one another. It needn't be a "feminist" issue. Just one of common courtesy towards everyone.
As far as equality, yes, men and women should have equal rights. Yes, men and women should be paid the same for the same work. There is no reason why people cannot be polite and be equal at the same time.
2006-10-04 01:02:54 · answer #1 · answered by julie j 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I think that whoever asks for the date should pay. In other words, if the date is my idea, and especially if I suggest the activity, I should be willing to pay for it. Most of the guys that I've gone out with don't agree with that way of seeing things, but I'm completely fine with it.
As for the door-opening thing, I think that it's just common courtesy to open a door for anyone around you, regardless of gender. If I reach a door into a building first, I will hold it open for a guy behind me.
And I disagree with you that equality always means paying half the bill. I think it's possible for people to be generous and offer to pay. If I'm out with a girlfriend, for example, and she says, "It's my treat," that's very generous of her and I don't think I should insist on paying half, because she's giving it as a gift and it allows her to do a nice thing for me. But I think that I should also have the freedom to do the same thing. Therefore, in my relationships with guys, I think that equality is that both people have the freedom to do things for each other, rather than the guy always having to do things for the woman.
2006-10-04 19:56:44 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Here's the thing. Although I am a feminist, there is still room to be polite and a feminist. So, if the gentelmen offers to pay for dinner I will first refuse, but if he insists I will let it go and try to leave a extra bit for the tip. as for doors an other things I will watch and if he goes for it, let him do it, if not I will do it myself. Just beacuse I am a feminist and believe women shouldnt be treated like mindless dolts I also believe in accepting hospitality and good manners with grace and style, be it from man or woman.
2006-10-04 03:16:33 · answer #3 · answered by essexsrose 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Women who are feminists don't know who they are. I ride a superbike, been a tom boy my whole life, but am still every inch a woman and know who I am. There is nothing more comforting than chilvary in a man, and it is such a pity, these days, that it hardly to doesn't exist anymore. I absolutely blame the parents for not instilling that into their children. You're right, if you are a feminist then pay your own bill. Men should still be men, and not the woosies most of them have become............
2006-10-04 04:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I suppose I think of myself as a feminist but I am also a tomboy. But on a first date if the man offers I will let him pay but the relationships I have been in we usually try to split things pretty evenly. I grew up with old fashioned parents so I got used to my dad putting my coat on for me and opening doors for me so for me it is always a turn off when guys get so offended by having to do these things. I am a feminist in the way that I think about equality especially when it comes to the constitution of the united states but no matter what happens I will always be a women and deserve to be treated like one when it is concerning a friendship or courtship. It is a fine line I suppose but I have never found myself complaining about it. I am also a very independent person so when I come across males that feel they have to do everything for me it is a very big turn off. Hopefully this answers your question. by the way boredperv maybe you should try to meet some inteligent people to expand your views
2006-10-04 02:52:00 · answer #5 · answered by green 2 · 1⤊ 5⤋
LMAO. You must be a Tom Leykis listener.
Feminists call for equality but are not ready to deal with it. They ***** about earning 76% or whatever the current statistic is for male vs. famale income, but are not willing or sometimes (physically especially) able to perform at the same level.
Flame on for this, but I welcome any female to debate me! You will lose.
2006-10-04 02:31:34 · answer #6 · answered by boredperv 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
There are ups and downs to the feminist movement, I like to pay my half. I earn enough to be able to do that. I also love to have the door opened for me and all sorts of gentlemenly gestures. I am still, after all a lady. I always appreciate it and I always say thankyou.
2006-10-04 02:22:59 · answer #7 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Sounds like you've got some anger issues, my friend.
I'm a feminist, and to me that just means sharing holding the door, sharing who picks up the tab on a date, and sharing who gets the high-paying jobs. I often pay when I go out with my boyfriend, and I often hold the door open for him, just like he does for me. It's basic courtesy.
2006-10-04 09:12:09 · answer #8 · answered by locolady98 4 · 4⤊ 5⤋
Chivalry?? Does that mean paying for a meal or opening a door? Give me a break! Guess things have to be equal in the sack as well????
2006-10-04 03:31:20 · answer #9 · answered by marincaligirl 3 · 0⤊ 7⤋
Well, we haven't received all of the good yet, so I'm still letting my date pay for me.
2006-10-04 03:16:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋