Okay so my roommates (2 of 3) sat down with me and basically told me that I stink. One of them said that it was not a personal attack. I kind of feel like it was because it almost had the appearance of an intervention for an alcoholic. What do you guys think?
2006-10-03 18:49:59 · 11 answers · asked by jennyreigle 2 in Health ➔ Other - Health
thank them
they had the guts to tell you something that most will not
2006-10-03 18:53:17 · answer #1 · answered by Mopar Muscle Gal 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what they are about to say weather or not you take it as a personal attack.
In your case the "you stink" was definately not an attack against you, it was truely a blessing, that is of course if your meaning of "you stink" is literally your body odor. You would rather have your roomates tell you so you can rectify the situation rather than continuing to not know and have people trying to avoid you because of it. I would say thanks for the "heads-up", take a shower, and get some better deoderant! :)
Now, if your meaning of "you stink" is basiclly their way of saying your personality stinks, then thats another thing.
~Sabrina Lily~
2006-10-04 02:08:21 · answer #2 · answered by purpleskym1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah............ well that's a tricky subject I don't think it is a personal attack, especially since they actually sat you down and told you as opposed to telling you snidely and and out of the blue. Or for that matter saying it behind your back and having you find out that way.
But if you feel insulted you should ask them to clarify, do they mean your clothes? Are you a smoker? BO? And take it to a third party, ask your third roommate and your friends.......... your "real" friends. If they say you do have a peculiar smell about you it might have been a good thing that they sat you down.
2006-10-04 01:57:27 · answer #3 · answered by Liera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it was personal ... not sure that it was an 'attack' though, seeing as they sat you down and spoke nicely to you. If they had've just randomly yelled at you 'You F*cking Stink!' then that would be more accurately classed as a personal attack.
It's like when someone says 'No offense, but...' then you know they are about to say something offensive to you! But the fact that they told you not to take it personally means that they wanted to get a message across, but did not want to hurt your feelings.
The best I can say to you is, try to take it as constructive criticism.
2006-10-04 01:54:40 · answer #4 · answered by the_fatmanwalksalone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did this for my fiance. He smelt really bad when we started dating. I sat him down and told him and at first he was offended, but then when he started using a better deodorant the other girls at work started to notice him. I had to tel them to back off! He had better self esteem and everything worked out great. although it seems like an attack now, they are only telling you so you can help yourself. A positive comes from every negative and do you really want to be known as the smelly person at work/home/school? Good luck xx
2006-10-04 01:55:26 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you stink so bad an intervention was needed; they live with you and would know. What they did is the utmost kindness. Deciding not to take them at their word and second guessing their intentions is pettiness on your part.Be grateful to have such caring friends.
2006-10-04 02:06:23 · answer #6 · answered by Caffeinated 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they were trying to help you, and did it in the most polite way that they could. Would you rather they had let you going on stinking?
I can't think of a way to put it to somebody that wouldn't be awkward.
Don't forget, you launched personal attacks on them daily...odor attacks.
2006-10-04 01:59:03 · answer #7 · answered by niwriffej 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think they're just trying to give you some advice.
If I smelled bad I'd like to be told so I could put some deodorant on before I left the house and someone else smelled me.
2006-10-04 02:01:43 · answer #8 · answered by Graham G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally when someone says that it actually is a personal attack. In this case after your explanation I am sure it is not. I think they were trying to be nice to you and I would follow their advise.
2006-10-04 02:00:03 · answer #9 · answered by beckychr007 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that was their best way of telling you. You shouldn't take it as a bad thing, just something they want you to be aware of. But, if it's something very offensive that has to do with your looks like..."Don't take this porsonally, but I think that shirt looks fat on you!" then beat the !@#$ out of that woman!
2006-10-04 01:53:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it was a personal attack. You can be sure of it if they start out with those words. Find new roomies.
2006-10-04 01:57:33 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋