my friend just found out she was pregnant?

Question

should the father of the baby be able to go with her to the first appointment?why? why not? she doesnt want him to go with her.....and she is afraid to tell him....she needs to know what to tell him

Answer 1

I would go to the first appointment by myself. It is completely up to her if she wants to allow him to go with her to any of her appointments. She has to be honest with him though. She should tell him why she doesn't want him to go. No matter what happens she and he will be connected for the rest of their lives through this child. She needs to encourage him to be a part of that baby's life even if it doesn't work out between them. Both parents play a big role in a childs life. That said, she also needs to stay mentally healthy during her pregnancy. She should include him in some of the appointments so he can hear the heartbeat and help her deal with all the changes in her body and her hormones, but she should also be able to experience some of it without him. She just needs to talk to him honestly. If she is afraid it might help if she writes him first and then talks to him. If she is afraid for her physical safety she should leave him immediately and contact an abuse shelter to help her get away without risking her or the baby.

Answer 2

It's totally up to your friend whether the father goes or not. She's the only one who has to go and therefore has the power to decide who will or will not go with her. She's the lady of the hour.

If she's afraid he'll hurt her, she shouldn't tell him face to face...a letter delivered by a neutral person or phone call would suffice. If she's afraid he'll run, make sure she has information about him, such as his social security number if she can get it, so if she needs assistance from the state, they can go after him for child support.

Until she's mentally prepared for either way, hold off on telling him. A few days won't hurt.

Good luck

Answer 3

Tell him how it is. The first appointment there's an examination. They open your legs shove a plastic or metal devise inside you and move it around causing you pain and that you prefer not to have an audience. Let him know it's kinda embarrassing to you and you prefer to go it alone. Ensure him that in a couple of months the doctor will order a extensive ultra sound and he can accompany her then. Let him know that very few doctors do an ultrasound on the first visit. Good luck to your friend!

Answer 4

tough one. I think the father should be able to go to the appointment and she should appreciate the fact that he wants to be involved. by not letting him go she is robbing him of his ability to be involved and informed, however if she doesn't want him there then that's her right, she should figure out why she doesn't want him there maybe if there is parts of the exam she feels uncomfortable about he can wait in the waiting room while that part is being done and call him in the room for the rest. if she just strait out doesn't want him there. then she needs to tell him and tell him why. not letting him be a part of it now may detour him from being as involved with the pregnancy as he may have been if given the opportunity from the start.

Answer 5

i wish my fianc ewould come with me to my visits but he works too much!
there never is an easy way to tell someone something especially when your scared of the reaction. but eventually he is going to find out.
if she is afraid to tell him she doesn't want him there, then maybe she could just ask if he could stay in the waiting room first. because she is nervous. some guys don't like the idea of going anyway.
but if he is expecting to go then she should tell him.
the first visit isnt that bad anyway . all they do is ask about family medical history, wether she smokes, drinks does drugs, and they sould use a doppler to hear the heart beat.

there probably isnt a best way to tell him. so she should just tell him she's really nervous about the first visit and would prefer to go alone this time! i'm sure he would be okay with it..

Answer 6

i'm not sure.. but maybe if this her first time to got pregnant, maybe the father of the baby should go too. because the doctor will explain all the things what the father of the baby should do in order to maintain a good health for the baby.

Answer 7

For God's sake, of course the father should go with her. He should be by her side at all times to keep him in the picture. Obviously, they're not married and that is too hard on the single mother and especially the innocent child. Tell her to get a DNA sample of the biological father of her child for proof positive of his paternity just in case he chooses to run. Tell her to be upfront and honest with him and she needs him in the baby's life. . . . always. Advise them to immediately get a marriage license and plan to get married before their child is born a bastard. Your child won't forgive you if you don't marry before birth no matter what the excuses or issues are. Tell her not to be stupid again.

Answer 8

If she doesnt want him to go to the first visit then she should just go by herself. I would go to the doctor first and then tell him that she was pregnant, so she could tell him how far along she is and when the due date is and stuff like that. Then she can see if he wants to go to the doctor visits with her. If he doesnt want to go in the doctors office with her, then he can take her and sit out in the car while she goes in.

Answer 9

If she doesnt want him to go then hes not going. Besides the first appt wasnt a biggie for me. He isnt missing much

Answer 10

The first appointment is not a big deal anyway. I think she should do what makes her comfortable.