so i been going out with this guy for 3 years when we met i asked him about his past girlfriends he told me about one for some reason i could never let that past relationship go and i always asked him questions about it .they broke up like 6 years ago.2 nights ago he gets a voicemail from her .the messages says hi its me ... im calling you because i need directions to the job because i have no idea how to get there .he says he doesnt know how she got the number i call her she says she got it from her brother and begins to tell me that she hasnt spoken to him in 6 years and was callin to see how he was doing .i dont believe it .she calls me today and begins to tell me that he use to stalk her and she was his first and that they where engaged for 8 months .he says this is bull and that she is crazy .he changed his number and his mad that i dont believe him .i dont think a person that you havent spoken to in 6 years would leave a message like that .what should i do ?
2006-10-03 18:01:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do you trust your man or not? You can't have a relationship without trust. Do you trust your own instincts? Are you confident enough to talk to him like a mature adult about the situation and express your concerns and are you prepared to find out a truth that could hurt you?
You cannot control what someone else (or 2 other people) choose to do. You cannot keep him from cheating on you, so stop trying to. If he does then it is his problem/issue etc, not having anything to do with you.
Trust me I do know what you are going through. My boyfriend has a crazy ex as well. She actually committed herself to a psych ward though, so there is proof. She also claimed my boyfriend stalked her, but she was the one doing the stalking. I wasn't really there when all of this took place and it was through before I was in the picture (for the most part) but I do still wonder about some things that are not clear.
Good Luck... and make your own happiness with or without him.
2006-10-03 18:08:27 · answer #1 · answered by crazyhippylover121 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat as you. My boyfriend also has an ex that I cant get out of my mind, I have not as yet found any text/voicemails, however I did find emails to/from her. He promised me that he never spoke to her and we left it at that.
I think that they are both lying, she would not leave a message like that unless they were talking (ie how would he know what job she is talking about etc). Sometimes people want to have a link to the past, I think that you should really make an effort not to talk about her to him (out of sight out of mind).
He has changed his number so this shows that he is making an effort to change and be with you. Make sure you tell him that if he sees/talks/thinks about her you will leave him and then go on living your life as normal. If you love him you will give him another chance...he didn't cheat on you...
2006-10-03 18:07:19 · answer #2 · answered by Knowitall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is meeting him on the job or he is helping her to find one. No I don't believe what he is telling you. Sounds like they are both in this together. You must have already been suspecting him to be checking his messages anyway. This could also have been a signal for him to leave that she was on her way. He could be getting mad at you to put you on the defense. The best defense is an offense. " This is what my ex always told me". I would follow him and find out next time you think she calls. It's hard to prove if they know where you are all the time. Next time he calls asking where you are; tell him a different story and watch what he does.
2006-10-03 18:20:49 · answer #3 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey the positive side of this situation is the girl might have got his number from somewhere and jus wants to screw your relationship now!
the other side is that ur bf is cheating u, if you love ur guy, learn to trust him, by trust I dont mean BLIND TRUST, keep ur eyes and ears open on wats hapnf around u, dont ask too many ques to him, jus be a silent spectator, be normal and observe things. Dont hurry to a decision, m sure u wud not like to end a 3 yr realtionship and later realize ur stupidty....
jus Wait n Watch.... Giv ur guy a chance this time....
2006-10-03 18:14:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give what is due...your boyfriend had already made an effort by changing his number...and i think that's the best move he could have ever done! The girl might as well trying to screw things up on him....she could be weaving lies....don't just believe her....your boyfriend needs you more than anyone else.....if you can't believe him then where else in this world he could find someone who believes in him?...so give him a chance to prove his worth as well. Cheer up no matter what that girl does....as long as your man stays with you you are on the winning edge! ..just paly it right! ok?..
2006-10-03 18:16:29 · answer #5 · answered by maic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he got his number changed, he gave you the new number right? Has he given you any cause to doubt him in the past? You should just take his word for it, since you don't know her, I wouldn't take her word. Especially if they went out, she might be jealous and wants him back. So will say anything to break you to up.
2006-10-03 18:12:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Broke him, you might be hurt in the end if you proceed that kind of relatinship. Because, if he truly loves you, he had proposed to you for marriage but he just going out with you for dating in 3 years, foolishness.
2006-10-03 18:09:44 · answer #7 · answered by vsg0818 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she claims that he used to stalk her......if that were the case she wouldn't be contacting him. i've yet to hear of a chick striking it up out of the blue with her former stalker.
good luck, hope it works out however you want it to.
but imo if this is hte first incident in 3 years, i think she is just trying to stir up trouble. don't let her ruin your good time, you may regret it.
2006-10-03 18:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have any evidence that he is cheating on you than leave him now. If not ask him not to speak to this woman again. If he does..leave him.
2006-10-03 18:09:10 · answer #9 · answered by Yourname Here 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT REALLY ABOUT TRUST. YOU TRUST HIM , OR YOU DONT
IF HE HAS NOT GIVEN YOU A REASON NOT TO THEN LEAVE
ALONG, IF AFTER 3 YEARS YOU CANT TRUST YOUR MAN
THEN WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM.
2006-10-03 18:06:53 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋