I have to work, I have the higher income in the family but when I go away on business trips, my toddler gives me the cold shoulder. My husband also works full time but we can't make it on one income. I give a lot of credit to single parents! How do you get past the guilt in order to make our time together quality time?
2006-10-03 17:20:19 · 9 answers · asked by FallGirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
honestly not to make you feel worse,that feeling will always be there because as they get older they begin to need you more. But there are somethings " I " do that i make special for my daughter and I . SUCH AS we go to breakfast just the two of us, she gets a kick out it just because its out of the norm. Or we set aside time for alittle tea party again just us. I tell her this is something for just us girls because no matter what she is the most important thing in the world to me. my advice find something that's routine for just the two of you that your child will come to recognize as just the two of you time.
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2006-10-03 17:42:07 · answer #1 · answered by peachy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give yourself a pat on the back. I am not a mother but i plan on having kids one day. I am a college student right now with alot of friends and one thing i have noticed in my life is that people don't know just how blessed they are to have parents that love and support them. They complain so much about so many little things they can't have that they don't realize how much they do have and how much their parents sacraficed for them. Whenever you get that guilty feeling think about something worse than your situation....for example, think about the fact that you have a husband there too because there are alot of single mothers out there tryna survive. Also think about the fact that there are so many people out there that give their child up for adoption or they have abortions because they are cowards. Or think about how some people can't even get the chance to have a career like yours. You are probably a really good mother who doesn't give herself enough credit and you probably underestimate yourself alot. If you have to go away on business trips, take some time out to call home or send a letter. When you get back home, take some time off or take time during the day to tell your family you love them or make a good home cooked meal for them. *Above all, do not stop doing what you're doing!!! Continue to make your money. There are so many people out there that have it in their minds that when you become a mother you stop having a life and you have to be a stay at home mother and let your husband do all the money-making. We (as women) need to make it known to the world that there are still strong independant women out there that can take care of themselves and their families with their own income and we don't need to depend on a man, even though there are people like you who is blessed to have a husband that has his own career too. Do what you have to do....make your money, spend as much time with the people you love, and just be happy and prosper!
2006-10-03 18:52:34 · answer #2 · answered by Angel88 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what you have to do. People do it all the time. Your child will understand. Me and my fiance both work full time. We have kids and of course it gets difficult. Try to make the time together good quality time. Try to rearrange your work scedule if at all posable so that you have more quality time. You will never fully get over the guilt feelings. We as parents always feel guilty as if we could and should be able to conquer the world for our children. Your child is too young to understand, but I assure you that he/she will not have long term psych problems because you work full time. He will learn that life doesnt come free and that your doing everything you can. Give yourself a pat on the back for working,and being a caring mom......
2006-10-03 17:30:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember who you are working hard for. I have a 7 yrs old and I work full time and have since he was a toddler. When I start to feel like I'm not giving him enough of my time, I change my schedule around a little so I get off earlier and make it a priority to do something fun with him. There are so many people going through the same issue, hang in there :O)
2006-10-03 17:22:24 · answer #4 · answered by Adri 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't so much feeling guilty cause you work for your kid and also help your husband to get more income. You can spend all your time when you already in home with your kid. Play together, eating together, watching tv together, all the things you do together with your toddler.
2006-10-03 17:32:17 · answer #5 · answered by Retno 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be sure and make the most of when you are together. Thats the big thing. Also, keep in mind that you are working to take care of them, and provide for them. Lastly, i had the easiest time, when i family or someone close to me took care of my son. I dont know if thats an option for you, but if it is, that helped alot.
2006-10-03 17:24:25 · answer #6 · answered by Aaron S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget the housework! Get a maid if it drives you crazy....The time with your little one is worth it. Make it all about family time. Little things, read to them in their bed with them, special days (such as a day at the park or picnic, go camping). I am in the same situation. I make each day as if it were my last with my family. Keep that in mind. Don't sweat the small stuff.
2006-10-03 17:27:21 · answer #7 · answered by naughty_mattress_monkey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never felt guilty. What I did was help put a roof over my child's head, food in her stomach and clothes on her back. I had nothing to feel guilty about.
2006-10-03 20:59:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing what is necessary to provide for your child. You have no reason to feel guilty.
2006-10-04 02:51:08 · answer #9 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋